Forty Seconds
by EllieMoon
Summary: Every forty seconds a child goes missing. All it took was forty seconds for Rachel Corcoran to disappear. Six years later, Rachel Berry appears in Lima, Ohio. Disclaimer: There will be mentions of child abuse and neglect. Faberry friendship only
1. In the Park We Hide

Every forty seconds a child disappears. Forty seconds changed Shelby Corcoran's entire life. She lost the only thing that truly mattered in her life, her little baby. Rachel Corcoran was missing. The cops couldn't find a single trace of the bubbly toddler.

After five years, the girl was determined to be dead by the police. While there wasn't any proof, they didn't want to give the mother false hope. Rachel Corcoran was gone.

A tiny three year old had disappeared from the park, while her babysitter was supposed to be watching her. None of the people there that day saw anything. For the three weeks there was nothing on the news except the missing toddler. People were urged to call the number below if they had any information. A picture of a smiley Rachel was shown taken just days before she went missing.

While all this occurred, no one was aware of the fact that in the sleepy town of Lima, Ohio, little Rachel Corcoran was locked in a closet, crying out for her mommy. They would have absolutely no idea that the little girl would sob in her sleep for her lost mother. Or that she would grow up for the next six years without having a single clue of who she really was.

* * *

Rachel flashed a smile at her babysitter before climbing onto the jungle gym. She was extra careful because she was wearing her favorite pink dress. She didn't want anyone to accidentally see her panties. The little girl shook her head when she thought about the last time that happened. She cried for a longtime because all the other kids laughed at her.

Today instead of her mommy at the park with her, her babysitter Linda was there. She liked Linda, but she loved when her mommy took her. Linda mostly just sat on the bench, talking on her phone for what seemed like forever to the toddler.

Linda never wanted to play with her. She watched Rachel play, but the girl wanted a playmate. She didn't have friends because she wasn't in pre-school yet. Her birthday was a long time ago, but her mommy said she had to wait longer to start school. Her mommy said she had a late birthday, which meant that she would have to wait even longer for things unlike other kids the same age as her. She huffed and stomped her foot when her mommy said that.

There were a lot of kids at the park today. Normally they were maybe three or five other kids, but today there were lots. Linda said it was because it was nearing summer and much warmer out. Not all kids wanted to play outside in the cold like Rachel.

She spotted a girl with yellow hair. Her mommy said to not talk to strangers, but this was a little girl like herself. Surely, she meant grown-ups. "Hi, I am Rachel." She held out her hand for the other girl to shake. She had seen lots of big people doing this like her Poppy.

The other girl stared at her in disinterest, but took the girl's hand after a few seconds. "My name is Sarah. I almost four."

Rachel smiled at the girl. "I am too."

"Why you so small?" Sarah asked with narrowed eyes.

Rachel frowned at the other girl. "I not small. My mommy says I just right."

The blonde shrugged her shoulders. "I don't pay with babies." The girl stalked off.

Tears sprung to Rachel's eyes as the girl left. She wasn't a baby. She was a big girl. She scrunched up her face and stomped off to the slide. It was always her favorite besides the swings. She didn't have her mommy to push her though so the slide would have to do.

She thought maybe she could have her mommy push her on her swing set at home. Her mommy would act silly and they laughed all the time. It would make her day better too.

The toddler got into position to push herself down when someone behind her shoved her down. "Just go." The kid shouted.

Rachel fell onto her hands and knees at the bottom of the slide. Her first instinct was to cry- rather loudly. Two men rushed over to help. She didn't know them at all. One had white skin and the other was brown. They smiled at her, but their smiles didn't make her feel better. She just wanted her mommy.

"Hi there, are you hurt?" Rachel nodded. "Can I help you with your boo boos?"

Rachel frowned-unsure if Linda would like it. However, she felt the blood on her knee. Linda forgot all her Band-Aids and snacks. If this guy could help her, it would mean she wouldn't have to leave the park.

"Yes peez mister." LeRoy and Hiram exchanged a dark look before plastering smiles onto their face as to not frighten the youngster. This would be easier than they expected as the girl's babysitter wasn't even looking. No one would notice a thing.

Five minutes later when Linda ended her phone call and went to search for her young charge, Rachel Corcoran was nowhere to be seen. She frantically asked anyone if they had seen the tyke, but everyone said the last place they had seen her was on the jungle gym- that was if they had seen her at all.

Unbeknownst to anyone, Rachel Corcoran was unconscious in the back of a van as two men made their escape with the little girl. They would make sure she would never remember anything of her old life.


	2. The Truths We Hide

**_AN-_ So I've decided to revamp this story a bit. While parts of this chapter are similar to the original, I've gone and changed a lot of other things. I also added onto the first chapter. **

* * *

_Rachel woke up to darkness. The three year old rubbed her eyes tiredly as she tried to figure out where she was. She remembered being at the park with Linda, but after that everything was a blank. _

"_Hello?" Her voice conveyed the terror she was experiencing. Tears pooled in the toddler's eyes as no one answered her call. "Mommy?" She cried out. 'Mommy will help'. She thought happily. Her mother was always there when she needed her. _

_Footsteps sounded outside of the door, and the little girl instantly knew they weren't her mother's. She backed herself into the wall and cowered when the door was thrown open. _

_A man, not as big as her poppy, but a man appeared in the doorway. Rachel remembered him as the man from the park. He was the one with the white skin. He didn't look as nice as he did when they were at the park though. His eyes were scary like the villains in the princess movies she watched. He looked at her with disgust. "Hello Rachel." His voice littered with dark intent._

_The girl pushed herself farther back into the wall. She didn't like this man one bit. He was scary, and she didn't trust him. "How is daddy's little girl?"_

_Rachel shook her head. "You not my daddy. I want my mommy." She yelled at him angrily. She didn't have a daddy, and he had no right to say that. She had a mommy. _

_His nostrils flared and his jaw clenched at her proclamation. "Bad little girls spend more time in the closet. When you want to be a good little girl, you may leave." He then closed the door and she heard a click. _

_Dry, body wracking sobs echoed off the four walls of the small closet. Tears slowly dripped down her face onto the pretty pink dress she wore. Her nose was all stuffy, but she couldn't stop crying. She wanted her mommy. Where was her mommy?_

_She began to forget her surroundings as the tightness in her chest increased and she began wheezing. At home, her mommy would give her some med-med-whatever it was called, and she would be all better after she spent some time on the neb. Her mommy had it too. She had asthma. Her mommy said it had something to do with the lungs._

_She clutched her tummy as she felt pain. She cried out as it continued to hurt._

_The door was thrown open once again. "Shit, I think she's having asthma attack." The black doctor said. "Go get my inhaler." The other man ran out. "Fuck, fuck if this kid dies we are so fucked."_

_Rachel's eyes watched as he paced back and forth in agitation. Her eyes glittered with fright. "I can't believe he would do this. She was supposed to be healthy. God fucking damnit." He screeched. _

Rachel shot up in bed covered in sweat. Her heart raced and her breathing was labored. The dream was more vivid than any she remembered ever having. She settled back onto her bed as she calmed down. Fear was still a primary emotion for the young girl. She felt the panic at not knowing where her mom was and not being able to breathe.

The brunette wasn't sure where the part about her mom came from. Her dads told her about a million times that she didn't have a mom. She hated the hollow ache in her chest that accompanied those words. She cared for her fathers, but sometimes she felt as if there was something or someone better. The little girl had the impression that someone was searching for her. She just didn't know who. Those nightmares sucked too.

Almost every night she was wracked with night terrors. She never told either of her dads about it because then they would make her start seeing a therapist again. She wasn't crazy. The therapist only made it worse. She shattered everything she had ever harbored to be true. Rachel hated her- she had never hated anyone before or since.

One glance at her alarm clock, and the little girl knew that she still had several hours before she needed to get ready for school. With a weary sigh, the little girl closed her eyes and hoped for sleep to quickly take over.

"_Rachel," a voice playfully called. She felt a gentle nudging. _

_However, she didn't want to get up. She smiled and rolled back over. "Come on, you're usually awake before this." It was her favorite voice in the entire world. She felt safe and loved. _

"_No," she whined tiredly. "I sleepy. Five mo minutes." Her arm flapped onto the bed. There was a soft chuckle_

_The nudging stopped before the blankets were ripped off of her. "Get up." A different voice commanded. She did as was asked of her. She knew the rules. The owner of the voice didn't stand for nonsense._

Beep… beep… beep- her alarm sounded. She reached over and smacked it hard. She really didn't want to get up, but she had to. Today was her first day of fifth grade.

Rachel could feel the anxiousness in her stomach. The dream had not helped in the slightest. She was on edge. It wasn't that it was a new school so much as it represented all that she had left behind. One day it was her school, the next she was in New York with her dad. Her fathers were in the middle of a messy divorce, and LeRoy woke her up one night. He told her to quickly dress and had a suitcase packed of her things in the car. She woke up to the sun rising over the New York skyline.

That was three years ago-Rachel had loved living in Manhattan. She had managed to convince her father to allow her to audition for a few Broadway shows, never imagining that she would actually get a part. It was the only thing that caught her interest since the move. She did not enjoy socializing with the kids at her private school. They were far too stuck-up for her taste, and she didn't relate well with kids her age.

LeRoy was at first leery of letting her leave his sight, but then he eventually pushed her out. She knew he didn't love her or want her. He took her to punish her other dad. She was nothing more than a mere pawn in a game of chess.

At her first audition, she messed up part of the words. However, the people in charge of casting saw something special in her. She was originally hired as the alternate Cosette until she was eventually the one going out there most nights. The Cosette before her could no longer fit the costume. She adored her time in Les Mis. It helped her learn a lot about the trade. She knew she was meant for the spotlight. She had the audience eating out of the palm of her hand for six shows a week. Her understudy did the other two shows.

Her dad didn't want her to draw too much attention to herself. On the weekends, she did her best to stay out of trouble. She was all to aware of what happened when she got in trouble.

That used to be her life until earlier in the summer when a new judge presided over the custody battle between her two fathers. She was forced to leave the show- her last one was two weeks previous. She had to watch as movers packed all of her belongings into boxes and loaded them into a truck.

Her father placed her on a plane with a minor status. He didn't hug or kiss her, instead he glared at her as if she were the bane of his very existence. His lip curled in disgust, and Rachel remembered cowering in fear. She knew he would never hit her publicly. He was too smart and restrained for that.

Every ten minutes it seemed the flight attendant was asking how she was doing. It wasn't even a long flight, which was the worst part. Getting off the plane was the worst part because it meant she was accepting her fate.

She hated coming to visit her dad in Lima, and now she was expected to live here. She actually had to go back to regular school instead of home school because her dad didn't have the money to hire a tutor or the time stay home with her. It was stupid in her opinion. There was nothing of interest in the town of Lima. She also hated her dad, if LeRoy was bad, Hiram was plain evil.

She sighed as she neared the school, which hadn't changed since the last time she saw it. Everything looked the exact same as if no time had passed at all. This day was going to suck. She knew it. She watched with a bit of jealousy as other kids ran inside the school, as parents dropped off their children. She was envious of the other kids playing with their friends. She coveted their carefree attitude. She wanted to be as happy and bright and shiny as they were.

Rachel wasn't sure if her friends remembered her, let alone wanted to be her friend. LeRoy hadn't given her enough notice to be able to say goodbye to the friends she did have. He dragged her down the stairs in her pajamas and they were gone.

Rachel took a deep breath before she made her way into the school. For her it seemed as if the school was frozen in time. The classrooms looked the same too. It seemed as if nothing had changed during her time away. A few posters were swapped out for newer ones, but otherwise the school remained untouched by the test of time.

The fifth grade classrooms were still on the other side of the building. Passing by the younger kids, she listened to the cries of the kindergarteners as they refused to part with their parents. She snickered a little as she watched one boy cling to his mother's leg, begging her not to leave. She rolled her eyes at the kid and his overdramatic tendencies.

She didn't remember acting like that when her fathers dropped her off. She remembered crying once for someone to come back to her, but she was sure it wasn't an actual memory. Who did she have to cry for?

Maybe it was because they weren't that close. She believed she loved them, but they didn't give her a lot of attention because they always had something else more important to do. She told them she understood when they left her with a nanny. In truth, Rachel didn't understand at all why her fathers never wanted to be in the same room as her. She spent most of her time alone-with her music. The other part of the time, she refused to acknowledge at all in her thoughts. She couldn't say it out loud, let alone think it.

The girl sighed as she picked up her pace. School was starting in five minutes, and she needed to hurry if she was going to get to her class on time. She didn't want to know what her father would do to her if she were late on her first day.

With only seconds to spare she made it to the right classroom, and noticed her classmates staring at her like she didn't belong. She lowered her head under their curious gazes as her cheeks reddened. She may have performed on stage for two years, but she hadn't had any experience with kids her own age in a longtime. It contributed to the anxiousness she was already feeling about the situation.

The teacher noticed her entrance and smiled kindly at her. She walked over to the seemingly nervous girl. "Hello, you must be Rachel Berry, I'm Mrs. Anderson."

"Hi," she greeted. She was terrified-everyone was still staring and the woman was still smiling at her. Her hands were clammy and her stomach hurt. Her body was fraught with tension.

"Would you like to introduce yourself to the class?" Rachel's eyes widened as she took in the rest of the class watching their little exchange

She knew the teacher wasn't actually making a suggestion. She wanted her to do it whether she wanted to or not. She cleared her throat and turned to face everyone. She wasn't expecting to feel as apprehensive as she was, but there were so many eyes on her. She stared at the floor to avoid looking at her peers. There was no way she would be able to introduce herself otherwise.

"Hi I am Rachel Berry," she said, her voice softer than normal. She wasn't so shy most of the time, but something about these kids unnerved her. "I recently moved back to Lima to live with my dad. I used to live in Manhattan, which is in New York City. I like singing. I was also homeschooled." By the end of it, her face was completely red. She could feel the heat of everyone's stares- it was making her sweat. She avoided making eye contact with anyone, and instead focused her gaze on a poster at the back of the classroom.

Mrs. Anderson directed her to an available seat in the second row. She sat behind a familiar boy, but for some reason she kept drawing a blank on his name. She drew a blank on most of the other kids' names. Mrs. Anderson started the class with math, and had everyone pull their workbooks out of their desk. Rachel finished the assignment within ten minutes.

The teacher took note of that. Her father informed her that the girl was quite good at math. She was bright, but often lacked the social skills needed to talk with others her own age. Mrs. Anderson noticed that her father didn't seem all that interested in his daughter. It was almost like he was acting for a part because when she had asked him if he had any concerns he shrugged disinterestedly.

The class was let out for their first recess at nine thirty. Rachel followed behind everyone else timidly. She walked onto the playground when suddenly she found her arms linked with two other girls.

"So Rach, don't you know how to say goodbye?" The darker haired girl asked.

Rachel's face fell as shame overwhelmed her. She hung her head as her face reddened. They were her friends. She met them in pre-school, and they had gotten into all sorts of trouble together. She pushed them out of her mind as a way to ease her pain and guilt.

"I'm sorry Santana. My daddy wouldn't let me come to school that day. He said that we were leaving that night. I had five minutes to get what I wanted and get in the car. I didn't know I was moving." She winced at the memory. "I didn't know what was happening."

Santana felt sympathy for her old friend. She was still mad, but she was glad to see the girl again. "You know I was kidding, right?" She bumped her with a hip. She felt protective over Rachel. She just never felt right around Rachel's fathers.

Rachel smiled a little. "I forgot how you used to be. I didn't really spend a lot of time with other kids."

The blonde huffed impatiently from her other side. "Don't you remember me?" She frowned marring the delicate features of her face.

Hazel eyes brightened as she regarded the blonde. "Quinnie, of course I remember you. Who wouldn't remember you?" Rachel smiled fondly. Quinn was her first best friend. She was the first person she was brave enough to talk to.

Quinn scowled at her friend. Everyone knew how much she hated being called that, except her mother. She poked Rachel's arm. "My mom still calls me that." She scowled.

The brunette giggled loudly. "I guessed. I kind of remember how she would always call you that. You would frown and glare, and then go on and on about how much you hated that nickname." She said with a dramatic flourish of her hands. "I missed your mom. I really missed you guys too. I hope you aren't angry." It was a real worry of hers when they moved away.

"Hey you have us now, so did you get the chance to live out the dream you've been telling us about since we were three?" Quinn asked, her eyes filled with curiosity.

Rachel's jaw dropped. Her cheeks tinged crimson because she had forgotten how much she had jabbered on to Santana and Quinn about Broadway. "Oh you know… I did and it was… amazing." She giggled. "It was strange though. I never saw my daddy. He was too busy for me. I spent a lot of time in the apartment or at the theater." She fibbed and crossed her fingers at her side. They could never know.

Both girls patted her on the back with sympathy written all over their faces. "Well you've got us now." Quinn felt for her friend. She knew that Rachel and her fathers did not have the greatest relationship. They rarely attended any of her dance recitals, so her parents and Santana's always made sure to show up flowers and hugs. It was just their normal. She never liked the Berry men. They gave her the creeps. There seemed to be something wrong with them. She had once heard her parents talking about it as well.

"Thanks, I tried not to think about you guys because it hurt too much. I missed you, but I didn't know your phone numbers so I couldn't call you." Her smile waned as she remembered how lonely she really was over the last three years. The other kids in the show didn't like her. She tried to be their friend, but all they did was laugh and make fun of her- like her fathers.

"Well we are all able to use the phone now," Santana smirked. "I'm sure your memory has gotten better so you can learn our phone numbers. That way you are never without us again."

Rachel beamed at her. "Yes, we can. It has. I had to remember lines and a song. Do you remember that one time in pre-school when we got in trouble for using the phone?" She covered her mouth to hide her giggling. They were all scolded for their actions, but even then they still thought it was funny. Rachel didn't think it was funny when she was punished by her fathers afterward. At least neither one of them was there.

The two girls chuckled in remembrance. "I thought Ms. James was going to die of humiliation when she realized that we called nine-one-one. The cops had showed up and everything. She then put us all in timeout after she had settled matters with them."

"I hated that old bat. She always made Rach feel bad about having two dads. Then she always talked about your mom, Quinn. She was really mean." Santana scowled-out of the three of them she despised their former teacher the most.

Quinn and Rachel nodded their heads in unison. The feeling was very mutual among the girls. They had purposely called 911 on their teacher because that's what they heard people did when they needed help.

When recess was over, Rachel felt a million times better. She had two of her best friends back. It cheered her up more than she thought it could. There was still a touch of anxiousness in the back of her mind- the worry was getting to her. She still had to find her other friend later to explain.

Mrs. Anderson spent the time before lunch teaching the kids grammar and social studies. Rachel could barely concentrate throughout the lesson-her eyes never left the ticking clock. The minutes passed by too slowly for her liking.

Finally at noon, they were released for lunch, and told to report to music class after recess. Rachel was glad to have friends in the same class because she couldn't remember where the music classroom was. She was also nervous about meeting the music teacher. These days a lot of things made her nervous.

Instead of eating lunch though, Rachel, Quinn, and Santana decided to go to recess. This was something they always did because they liked being on the playground for fifteen extra minutes. They knew that this was their last year where they were able to have recess, and besides they figured they were at the top of the food chain now. They had to enjoy it because they would be back on the bottom again soon.

Rachel finally caught a glimpse of one of her other best friends and excused herself from Quinn and Santana. She wanted this to be a private moment. They were all friends, but she wanted this to be special like how it was with Quinn and Santana.

"Kurt," she called out in sheer excitement as she ran towards him.

Kurt froze-not because he didn't recognize the voice; he was shocked into silence. He hadn't seen Rachel since the day before she left without a word. He had no idea she was moving, and he was hurt that she didn't tell him.

He sniffed, disinterestedly at her. Rachel paid no attention to his attitude because she knew how he could be. He came off as a bit stuck up at times. "Aw come on, at least Santana and Quinn gave me the benefit of doubt. And we both know how unforgiving they can be."

Kurt smiled wryly. He had crossed them once, and it took a lot of begging and pleading on his part for them to even consider the possibility of forgiving him.

He crossed his arms and fixed her with a stern look. "Explain then."

And she did. She told him about the divorce, her dad leaving town, and she mentioned a little about her time on Broadway. Kurt was enraged on the behalf of his friend. No one should have to live like she did, questioning why she was all alone. He knew her fathers were never home, and that she had a nanny who looked after her. He felt horrible because even though he lost his mom, he still had his dad.

"I wasn't mad just so you know. It hurt because I thought you knew about the move." He explained with a melancholy smile.

Rachel shook her head sadly, but accepted his version of an apology. She hooked her arm with Kurt's and led him over to where Quinn and Santana watched the duo nervously. They spent the rest of recess gossiping about the whole fifth grade. Rachel had missed a lot, and was glad her friends were more than happy to regale her with some of the more embarrassing stories of her classmates.

"You totally missed when Henry Peters peed his pants in front of everyone at the Christmas pageant last year. He didn't come to school for a week." All the kids laughed. Henry Peters formally had a crush on Rachel- he followed her everywhere for two months. He pulled her pigtails and pushed her in the mud. He put a tarantula in her backpack. He did everything so that she would notice him.

Recess ended all too soon for the kids, and Rachel soon found herself outside the music room. She remembered the old music teacher was old and deaf. Her idea of good music something from the fifties. She called them classics. The kids complained about it because none of them liked the music. Heck, they weren't even born yet. Most of them were positive their parents weren't alive either.

The music room had a different set up. There were posters of Beethoven and Mozart, but there was also a few from Broadway like Hairspray and Wicked. There was a diagram of a music scale and the different clefs. A music stand was in front of every seat with music sheets already in place. The piano was Rachel's favorite. Their former teacher didn't have one.

Rachel made sure to blend in with her classmates as she entered the room. She didn't want to draw any attention to herself. She noticed the new music teacher-well new to her. She was really young compared to the last one. Rachel couldn't help but think she had seen the brunette woman before. She just couldn't place the face. The little girl couldn't help but admire the woman's beauty though. She had large green eyes and silky brown hair. She wore a simply black dress with black high heels. The only jewelry she wore was a silver locket and diamond studs.

Shelby Corcoran sighed as Mrs. Anderson's fifth grade class strolled in. They were a rowdy bunch. She had all of them the year before, and groaned in frustration when she saw the class roster. All of the kids that annoyed her the most were placed in the same class. None of them ever listened, and one little punk always threw paper balls at her. She supposed that was better than spitballs.

After each of them settled in their seats, she spotted the new girl sitting between the Fabray and Lopez girls. She seemed oddly comfortable with them with it only being her first day. The woman new that children were resilient and had an easier time making friends than adults. Shelby had heard Mrs. Anderson say there was a new student in the teacher's lounge that morning. This was the second week of school, and the kids' first music class of the school year. She hoped this new girl behaved better than her classmates.

"Okay class, I am going to call your names to make sure you are all here." The kids nodded. "Abbott, Jane," she called. She then reached what she assumed to be the new girl's name as it was the only one she wasn't familiar with. "Berry, Rachel," she bit back a sob at the name. Rachel had been the name of her daughter. This year was going to be hard, but she would push through like she always did. If the kids noticed her hesitance, they didn't comment on it. Her Rachel would be about the same age as these kids if only a few months younger.

Her own inner heartbreak wasn't as important as her job. She enjoyed spending time around children, if only because it allowed her a reprieve from thinking about her own lost child. They made her day brighter, and banished the dark thoughts that often crept in and settled in her head.

As it was their first day back in music class, she informed them of what they were going to be doing that year. She had told them that the school musical would be Annie, and watched in amusement as Rachel sat up in interest in her seat. Her own daughter had adored Annie as well.

By the end of the lesson, Rachel loved Ms. Corcoran. She was sweet and pretty. The little girl was positive they had met before, but the circumstances under which they had were fuzzy. She shrugged her shoulders and left it for later. She would figure it out eventually.

Rachel walked home from school that day after saying goodbye to her friends. It was kind of a long walk, but she forgot to ask her teacher what bus she was supposed to get on. Besides her dad would never pick her up. He worked. He didn't have time to take her home when she could walk or take the bus. It meant bad news for her if he was picking her up at school.

By the time Shelby exited the school, she was beyond exhausted. She was happy that weren't too many incidents with Mrs. Anderson's class. She was also glad that she wouldn't have to deal with Mrs. Anderson's class again until Friday. It was on her drive home that she noticed one of her students walking. Shelby figured the girl had to have been walking for at least fifteen minutes at this point. She stopped her car next to the girl when she realized it was Rachel Berry-her newest and brightest pupil.

Fifteen minutes passed and sweat glistened on her forehead causing her bangs to stick to her skin. Rachel had forgotten how long this walk could be. She had only walked it five times before when she had stayed behind at school. Normally Quinn or Santana's parents would give her a ride home. On one occasion both Quinn and Santana were out sick. Rachel's fathers made her go to school unless she was vomiting. She could have a raging fever, but they only cared if she had any visible symptoms. Her fathers never wanted her to miss school, because they wanted to keep up appearances. Rachel had no idea what that meant exactly. It was one of the reasons she enjoyed homeschooling.

She sighed tiredly as she felt the heat from the sun beat down on her head. She hadn't exactly thought her wardrobe choice through this morning as she dressed for school. She was wearing dark blue jeans, a t-shirt, and a sweatshirt. She knew that schools could get cold, and she was right about the cold part. Her classroom was freezing. She was regretting her choice not to wear shorts- the jean material stuck to her legs. It was going to be a pain to take them off.

Rachel was too busy pouting over her misfortune to notice the black Range Rover pull up beside her. She however, did hear when Ms. Corcoran called her name. Her head swiveled towards the teacher resulting in her hair smacking her in the face.

"Rachel, " Ms. Corcoran addressed the girl, slightly wincing. She needed to get over the fact that this girl shared a name with her daughter. They were going to be student and teacher all year. She would probably have other kids name Rachel in the future.

Rachel tried to smile innocently. She didn't want to get in trouble-her father wouldn't be happy if she drew attention to herself. "Yes?" She asked with wide eyes.

"Did you miss the bus? I'm pretty sure they don't let kids walk if they live father than ten minutes from school." Shelby smiled kindly at the seemingly nervous child.

Rachel didn't know how to reply to that. She was caught. "Uh yeah I missed the bus. I didn't have any other way to get home so I started walking. It's fine. I've had to walk home before. It's not that long of a walk." She grimaced. She hadn't meant to reveal that much. She hoped her dad didn't find out she had told someone.

Shelby frowned at the girl. What kind of parent let their child walk home by their self? "Rachel, I don't feel comfortable letting you walk home by yourself. Do you think I could give you a ride home?" She wasn't actually giving the girl an option, but Shelby had spent a lot of time around children. She knew that they liked to think they had a choice when really they didn't. They were going to do something whether they wanted to or not. It was all about how it was presented to them.

Rachel bit her lip. It was hot. She still had at least another fifteen minutes until she was at her house. A ride would be nice, and she liked Ms. Corcoran. She knew her dad wasn't home, so there was no chance of him knowing about this. It wasn't like her teacher was a stranger.

"Uh yeah, I guess that is okay." Shelby unlocked the door for the girl, and Rachel climbed into the front seat. She was nervous, and it showed as she twiddled her thumbs silently.

"Where do you live?" She asked-glancing over at the petite girl.

"Over on Oak Street," the girl answered, her eyes dropped to her lap. She could tell Ms. Corcoran was upset. Rachel wasn't sure why. She didn't think it was that big of a deal.

She nodded her head to let Rachel know that she heard her. "What do you mean you've walked it before?" As far as Shelby knew, it was the girl's first day.

"Oh, well I used to live here when I was younger. I lived in New York City for a while with my other dad, but the one I currently live with got custody of me. So I had to move back." Her voice was soft- barely more than a whisper.

"Do you not have a mother?" Something seemed off to her. She couldn't put her finger on it.

Tears formed in Rachel's eyes. Shelby looked over when the girl didn't respond, and felt horrible for asking such a personal question. "You don't have to answer that. I'm sorry." She didn't mean to make the girl cry.

Rachel waved away her apologies and blinked back the tears. "My dads told me she didn't want me. It's just… " she shook her head. She was being stupid. She never had a mother. That's what her dads told her when she was younger. If she did, she would've saved her by now.

"It's just what?" Shelby asked.

"You promise you won't think it's stupid?" Rachel asked timidly.

"I promise." She crossed her heart.

"My dads told me I never knew my mother, but sometimes when I dream I can see her as clear as day. I can hear her singing to me as she tucks me into bed. I sometimes feel like I remember her arms around me as she held me when I had bad dreams. I remember once dreaming how she sang and held me after I freaked out because I thought there were monsters in my room." Rachel chuckled nervously. "Sounds stupid, doesn't it?"

Shelby shook her head as tears swam in her eyes. "No it doesn't." She used to do those same things with her daughter. She remembered when her Rachel had gotten a new bed, and she believed that monsters were hiding underneath, waiting to get her once her mommy left. It was moments like that, that she held on to when it sometimes became too much for her to deal with. Sometimes she wondered if it was all made up.

"I just wish they were real. They feel real. I can feel the brush as she ran it through my hair. I remember I dreamed once that she rocked me after I had been bad and she spanked me. When I told my dads about my dreams they got angry at me. They told me point blank that I never had a mother. That my dreams were just in my head." Her dads were always angry at her when she mentioned a mother. They punished her a lot whenever she inquired about the woman who gave birth to her.

Shelby felt for the poor girl, and she sighed in relief when they arrived at the girl's house. She didn't know much more she could handle. It hurt to know that she had lost her own child, and another child who reminded her so much of her own, didn't have a mother-or parents who cared about her.

"Bye Rachel," Shelby told her as she got out of the car.

"Bye Ms. Corcoran, thank you for the ride." Rachel gently closed the door, and walked up the path to her dad's house. She hated this house. She turned around as she reached the door to see her music teacher watching her. She waved again as she unlocked the door and entered the house. She closed the door, and slid down the door to the floor. She hadn't meant to reveal so much about herself. She just trusted the woman more than any adult she had met-it was an unusual feeling for the young girl. She was taught through life experiences to be wary of adults, but somehow she knew Ms. Corcoran was different.

Shelby waited until Rachel was safely in her home before pulling away. She pondered everything the girl said, and decided she would watch out for her this year. She could tell that she had been through a lot. There was something about Rachel Berry that screamed something wasn't right.


	3. In the Dark We Hide

**AN- Okay, so there are mentions of abuse in this chapter. It will follow parts of the original story line, but a lot of things are being changed in the process. **

* * *

"_Rachel, do you want to sing a song?" The woman asked._

_The little girl clapped her tiny hands and nodded. She loved singing with her. "We sing Annie?" She asked. Annie was the best._

_The woman smiled down at her. "Yes my little turkey, we can sing Annie."_

_Rachel crinkled her brow and scowled indignantly at the woman. "I not no Turkey. I Rachel." The woman's laughter warmed her insides. She loved when she laughed. It made her feel better. It was her favorite sound besides the woman's voice._

_The laughter faded. Her eyes grew wide with fear. "Rachel!" She cried out. _

"_Mommy, mommy where are you?" She yelled back, but it was dark. She pounded on the door, but it wouldn't open. "Mommy, I can't see. Please mommy. I not know where I at." She continued to pound her little fists against the door, but it was useless. "Peez mommy, I scared." _

Rachel awoke with a scream. Her scream pierced through the nighttime silence like a knife. She was drenched with sweat and her heart pounded rapidly in her chest as she tried to regain control of her breathing. The nightmare was something that had been on and off since she was about three. It always terrified her. She hated closets because of it. She couldn't understand why she kept having the dream.

No matter how much she pounded on the door, she never could get back to the lady. She knew if she found the lady everything would be okay. She just needed the woman; she had no idea who she was, but she would make it better. She wouldn't be scared anymore.

She opted not to go back to sleep, instead choosing to watch Netflix on her laptop. The nightmare unsettled her, and she didn't want a repeat. Normally, they didn't happen two nights in a row. The little girl fell asleep watching Funny Lady, the sequel to her all time favorite Barbra Streisand movie, Funny Girl.

Rachel stared at the clock sleepily, wishing she could push time back. She only slept for two hours. She was going to suffer in school, she thought miserably. Even she knew with her limited exposure to the school system that sleeping in class was not tolerated. She didn't want to think about the punishment her father would inflict on her if he were to find out.

The brunette finally registered the time at a quarter to eight when she jumped out of bed in a panic. She quickly grabbed the dark jeans from her desk chair and hurriedly threw them on. She grabbed a random Wicked t-shirt, and scrambled around the room to get her school things in her backpack. She was running late because she had smacked the snooze on her alarm-more than once. She couldn't help it. She was just so tired. The nightmare the night before had really messed her up. After it, she was left feeling more anxious and scared. She didn't like that at all.

Rachel ran the entire way to school in. She was only five minutes late by the time she arrived, and had to get a pass from the office to go to class. Her classmates all stared at her as she walked in ten minutes after the bell rang. She ducked her head so no one would see her blush in embarrassment. She caught Quinn's eye, and quickly avoided her gaze. She didn't need to hear it after the night she had.

Worst of all, there was a surprise quiz in math that morning. Rachel silently suffered as several times she had to keep her eyes from fluttering shut. Eventually she gave in and told herself, she would rest her eyes for a few minutes. A few minutes wouldn't hurt. When her eyes snapped open, she was met with a frown from Mrs. Anderson. She knew that the look meant she wasn't pleased at all. The girl hoped the teacher wouldn't call her father.

"Rachel, I would like you to stay back during recess so we can talk." Rachel nodded, unable to say anything to defend herself. Several of her classmates snickered at her behind their hands. She did her best to ignore their childishness.

At 9:40, she watched sadly as all her classmates exited the room for first recess, wishing she could go along as well. Mrs. Anderson made her finish her quiz, and watched her the entire time she took it. Rachel could feel her eyes on her every time the pencil moved across the table. It was unnerving and caused the anxious feeling to return. Her stomach bubbled and her hands were all sweaty. The girl couldn't seem to relax at all- she felt tense. She tried her best to concentrate on the problems on the paper, but her mind kept wandering.

It took fifteen minutes before she got up to turn in her quiz. Normally, the quiz would be completed within five or so minutes. Today though, her mind refused to settle and focus on her schoolwork. "Now Rachel, I want to know why you fell asleep." The woman's face was stern and her eyes hard.

Rachel looked down as she was overcome with a sense of shame. She hated that she disappointed her teacher. "I'm sorry Mrs. Anderson, it won't happen again." She promised- her tone indicating she didn't want to explain what happened.

"That's not what I asked." Rachel knew that. She didn't want to tell her the real reason because then her dad could get in trouble. Nine year olds weren't supposed to be left home alone- especially at night. Her dad would kill her if he found out she told someone.

"I know." Rachel said solemnly. "I had a nightmare, and couldn't get back to sleep." Mrs. Anderson stern expression softened as she listened to the girl's explanation. "It took a longtime for me to fall back asleep, and I was just really tired."

"Okay I understand Rachel, if it happens again though I am going to have to call home." Rachel nodded and promised it would never happen again. She knew it wouldn't bode well if she drew a lot of attention to herself. Her dad had told her that she was not to get into trouble at all, or there would be severe consequences. Rachel shuddered as she imagined what sorts of consequences her father would inflict on her.

She took a seat at her desk and pulled a book out and read until her classmates returned a few minutes later. She managed to stay awake for the rest of the day, and silently rejoiced when school was finally let out. She didn't want her teacher to call home for any reason.

She remembered to actually ask her teacher for her bus number and took the bus home. "Oh look, it's big nose." Melanie, a girl who teased her constantly when they younger said loudly for everyone to hear. Melanie loved to pick on Rachel, and was delighted when she saw her the other day on the playground. She was smart enough not to do anything with Santana around. The bus however was free game.

"Shut up Melanie," Rachel screamed with tears in her eyes.

"Oh are you going to go cry to mommy?" Then she laughed shrilly. "That's right you don't have a mom. You have two freaks for dads."

"Just stop it," she cried- her breath came out in short pants. Her hands were sweaty again and her stomach really hurt. Her eyes were far away, and she was losing focus on where she was.

"No, I won't. If you can't take it, I can't imagine how you performed on a stage. No one would someone as ugly and untalented as you performing on their stage every night. You have a huge nose and your face is just ugly period. You're a dwarf. Can you even reach the doorknob?" She laughed and encouraged everyone to follow her lead even if it was less enthusiastically.

Rachel could hear the pounding of her heart as the blood rushed to her ears. "Why are you always such bitch?" She asked the other girl. She took pride in the other girl's stricken face. The kids on the bus began to whisper as they awaited in anticipation for Melanie's next move. This was going to be good.

"What did you just call me you little freak?" She ground out.

"A bitch, do you need hearing aids?" She taunted her. She was baiting her because she knew how Melanie operated. The feeling was starting to go away as she gained the upper hand. Her sights were focused on the bully in front of her.

Melanie moved into Rachel's seat in the blink of an eye, and then snapped her arm back and punched Rachel in the face. She pushed Rachel up against the window. "Listen up you little freak, I will kick your ass if you ever speak to me like that. Do you understand?" Rachel nodded tearfully. "Good, and only babies cry. So I guess that makes you a baby now as well."

Melanie quickly moved back into her seat when the bus suddenly stopped. Delia had been a bus driver for almost ten years, and had dealt with a lot of crap from these kids. She however, couldn't stand when bullying occurred on her bus. It was different at school because she didn't have any authority, but here on this bus the kids had to listen to her. She hated all of them especially that little piss-ant Melanie.

Delia had been driving this route for the last six years. She had seen how the kids had picked on Rachel before she moved, and now that she was back, they decided they needed to pick up where they left off. She saw the girl crying in her mirror, and noticed how she held her hand protectively over her eye. She sighed because someone was obviously going to get written up. It wouldn't be first the time- probably not the last either.

She made her way back to the little girl's seat. "Rachel, who did this to you?" The girl refused to name any names. That's how it always was- the girl was terrified of what her peers would do to her if she tattled. "Did any of you see anything?" All the kids refused to meet her eyes as they shook their heads. "Well since none of you saw anything, I'm going to have to tell the principal. He will probably call all of your parents, and he will show them the footage from the camera."

The kids' heads snapped up at the mention of the camera at the front of the bus. They had forgotten that it was there, recording every single one of their moves. "Don't bother trying to name anyone now, you all lied. Come sit at the front of the bus Rachel." Rachel sniffed pathetically as she clutched her eye. It was throbbing. She wasn't a snitch, which is why she didn't tell the truth about Melanie. Besides, Rachel remembered telling on the girl once to the aide at recess after Melanie pushed her off the swing. Melanie only got worse after that. Rachel became her only target after that.

Things would be a whole lot worse if she told on the girl. Rachel knew just how mean Melanie could get, and didn't want to tempt fate. No good would come from it. It was better to keep her silence. The known was better than the unknown. Rachel knew that from personal experience. It was safer all around to stick with what you knew because the worse had yet to happen.

She scurried off the bus at her stop and didn't look back once. She kept her head tucked down and walked quickly to her house. Delia attempted to engage her in conversation, but she refused to utter a single syllable. She could feel Melanie glaring daggers at the back of her head, and didn't need to give her any more ammo. She wasn't going to make a bad situation worse. Melanie would already be out for blood after the principal called her parents- it was best not to rock the boat.

There was no one home as per usual when she unlocked the door. The tiny brunette was able to complete all of her homework, and do some light cleaning around the house. It would please her dad when he returned home. She needed to stay a good girl. Good girls don't get hurt.

_Brown locks were splayed on the carpet as tiny hands played with a toy airplane. The scent of lavender made the little girl smile. She spilt a bottle- a longtime ago. It was her very favwite smell. _

"_Rach, baby where are you?" It was the woman again. She was searching for her._

_A giggle fell from her lips. "I in here mommy."_

_The woman entered the room. The little girl couldn't make out her facial features, but how she loved to play with that hair. It was soft to the touch and smelled like stawbewwies. "There you are." She knew a smile was on the woman's face. She could hear it in her voice. She knew how she sounded when she was happy, sad, or mad. "I've been looking all over the house for you. Why are you in here?"_

_The toddler shrugged a shoulder as she watched the woman. "I don't know mommy. I like it here. It smell like you." She pointed her finger to the carpet._

_The woman hummed. "Ah yes, I remember now. You like the smell of my perfume."_

"_Yes, it 'mind me of you." The girl nodded. _

"_Well, play time is over. It is time for little three year olds to go to bed."_

_A pout formed immediately on her face. She didn't understand why she had to go to bed when her mommy got to stay up. "I no want to. I not tired." She contradicted herself however when she rubbed her eyes tiredly and a loud yawn escaped her._

_The woman cocked a hip. "Are you sure?" Her voice was teasing. "Come on, mommy will sing to you." The toddler stuck her lip out, but complied with the woman's wishes. She loved when the woman sang just for her. It was the best thing in the world. _

"_Mommy?" Rachel yelled loudly. "Where you at? I can't find you."_

_It was dark. She hated the dark. She shivered as the cold hit her. "Peez, I need you. I really scared."_

"_You don't have a mommy. What have I told you about this?" Red eyes glinted in the darkness. Before Rachel knew it, a strap came of nowhere and struck her. She cried out in pain. "I guess I'll have to make it stick this time." The belt hit her over and over as the girl curled up into a ball. The last one was the worst of all and the girl screamed in agony. She could feel the blood dripping down her back. Her skin was raw and open. _

Rachel choked back a scream as she woke up from the nightmare. She was frozen with fear as her heart pounded in her chest. She wasn't safe when she was awake and she certainly wasn't safe in her dreams. She could still feel the belt as it pierced her skin- the smoothness of the leather, she could hear it as it whipped through the air. She didn't think she would ever sleep again. The night terrors had never been this bad before, but she swore this time she could feel it.

She felt the pain, the fear, the tears- she felt it all. It was real. It wasn't a dream. It was her own living nightmare. It was her dark place in which she was unable to escape. The darkness followed her and wouldn't release her. It was lurking in the background waiting for her defenses to weaken.

"It's just a nightmare." She whispered almost pleadingly to herself. Her eyes darted around the dark, cavernous room. It seemed bigger at night. She felt small and vulnerable as tears burned in her eyes. "It wasn't real." She cried silently. "It wasn't real. Only a dream, only a dream." She chanted over and over until sleep claimed her once again.

Rachel took a deep breath as she attempted to settle her nerves. When she got up the next morning, she hoped that her day could turn around. However, it only got worse. There were deep, purple bags under her red-rimmed eyes. She looked as if she had never had a peaceful night's rest.

Mrs. Anderson watched her like a hawk the entire day. Her eyes always returned to her. Rachel pinched herself whenever she felt her eyes start to droop. She couldn't fall asleep. She knew the nightmares would come back, and Mrs. Anderson would call her father. Both were terrible, but the perfect motivators to keep herself awake.

Melanie had in-school suspension so Rachel only saw her at lunch. The girl glared murderously at her the entire time. The way she stabbed at her lunch made Rachel fear for what would happen to her when Melanie got ahold of her. It wouldn't be good.

When Rachel got home, luckily her father still hadn't come back. There was leftover Chinese in the fridge, which the girl warmed up. She sat at the kitchen table by herself, wondering what she had done wrong to deserve being given to them. Her dads hated her. They never paid much attention to her in the first place unless it was to punish her for her wrongdoings. They seemed more interested in themselves than her; they pretended their actions were out of love, but she knew it was because they despised her. They never mentioned her mother unless it was to say bad things. Her father, Hiram punished her a lot more than LeRoy. He especially got angry whenever she mentioned anything to do with her mother. She learned eventually not to.

Her nannies and babysitters punished her as well. Nanny Jane was her nanny for three years. She disciplined harsher than LeRoy ever had or could. She liked to use her walking cane to hit her back or her legs, and laughed wickedly when Rachel began to cry. Corporal punishment was her favorite. She didn't believe in coddling a child. When she spanked Rachel, she used a whip. Sometimes when Rachel spent the day at her house, she made the girl pick out her own swish. Her hands were never the same after that. There were no lasting scars, but she could still feel the bitter sting.

Nanny Jane punished her for everything. She once refused to wear a rather ugly dress the woman picked out. She would never forget the first time she felt that cane on her legs. That's how she broke her leg for the first time- only they told the hospital it was because she fell out of a tree. Rachel didn't shed a single tear when the woman died the year before.

All of her nannies and babysitters reported her bad behavior to her father and why they had to punish her. Since Rachel was known for her tantrums and storm outs, her father believed all of them over her. Her father, LeRoy punished her for that, even though she didn't get to tell her side of things. She had his punishments on top of theirs. Things like that happened each time someone was left to watch over her. She never felt comfortable with any of them, or her fathers for that matter. She didn't trust them and it made her nervous. She always expected the worse to happen and constantly looked over her shoulder when someone entered the room. She knew what could happen when her back was turned, and preferred not to be caught unaware. It always hurt more that way.

Things always seemed off to her. Her fathers were secretive, and Rachel had the impression they were lying to her about something. What, she didn't know, but she was going to find out one of these days. Maybe whatever they were hiding would allow her to finally get away from them.

Her shoulders drooped and she harshly exhaled. Who was she kidding? She was never going to escape them. This was her life. She deserved it like Hiram said.

About an hour outside of Lima, Shelby Corcoran ate dinner by herself. She stared at the chair directly across from her as she thought of the little girl who gave her life meaning. Her daughter, Rachel brought a light into her life that had dimmed significantly in the last several years.

Shelby has done everything she could to find her lost child. She couldn't give up, not until her daughter was either in her arms, or… she couldn't even think of the alternative. The chair had been Rachel's. She would sit on her knees because she wanted to eat like her mommy. Shelby tried to offer her the use of a booster seat, but the girl adamantly refused. She was so damn stubborn. Shelby didn't know where she got it from; okay that was a lie. She got it from her. Rachel was a mini-Shelby. She wanted to be exactly like her mommy, and Shelby loved it.

She had chosen not to move out of her house when her daughter went missing. It was the last tangible thing she had of her. She could still hear Rachel running and screaming up the stairs as she searched for her mother. She could still picture her as she decided to finger paint on the walls instead of the easel Shelby purchased.

Memories swarmed around her, and she couldn't let them go. She finished her dinner, and slowly cleaned up her mess. She completed her nightly routine, and then stood in the doorway of her daughter's room. It was exactly how she left it except that there weren't any clothes. As time went on, Shelby knew that when Rachel came back that she wouldn't be able to fit any of the clothes. She kept a few things for memories sake, but everything else was donated.

In her mind there was no if where it concerned her daughter. It was always a when. She couldn't give up hope. She knew her daughter was alive out there somewhere, waiting for her.

The room was still painted light green with purple butterflies. The shelves were littered with books and toys. The pictures were the hardest to look at. Rachel was always smiling and happy. Shelby avoided them as much as possible because it made it hurt more. The pain was always there; it was hardest in the morning when it hit her all over again that her child was gone.

Every single morning she went through the same thing over and over. She wanted nothing more than to hold her daughter in her arms, and every morning she was forced to face reality again. The early days had been the worst. She expected Rachel to give her, her version of a wake up call, which was to sing at the top of her lungs. She never realized how much she would miss hearing it.

Every morning she was left disappointed. The ache inside of her never went away. It was always there. It was a hollow feeling inside of her that she couldn't get rid of no matter what.

Memories were all she had left of her baby girl. Every night she curled up with Rachel's baby blanket as she cried herself to sleep. Her baby was gone. She had to tell herself that every night. Her therapist told her it would help if she admitted it out loud. It did to some degree, but it made her feel worse. She felt helpless. She let down her baby girl. She had failed to protect her, and that was worse than anything.

By Friday, Rachel was running a total of maybe five hours of sleep that she had accumulated throughout the week. She was exhausted. The day before was downright horrible as Melanie decided to make her school life absolutely unbearable. All the kids sitting in the seats closest to her and Melanie on the bus had received in school suspension. They weren't allowed to go to recess, and then they had their parents' personal punishments to deal with. No one had told on Rachel because Melanie wanted to deal with her personally. Rachel knew to be on guard because Melanie would strike when she least expected.

Rachel avoided looking at anyone because she didn't want them to see her black eye. She stayed away from her friends because she knew how they got when the other kids picked on her. Quinn and Santana were well liked, and she didn't want to ruin that for them. So instead of going to recess, she helped her teacher around the classroom. She would sit by herself in science lab, art class, and gym.

The black eye hadn't started fading yet. It was still purple, but the outside was a little green. At least it was no longer swollen. She could blink without it hurting anymore. She supposed that was progress. It was still humiliating watching everyone point and stare- the laughs were the worst. The kids had yet to ease up on their teasing.

"Hey Berry, nice black eye," Joey Ward mocked. His friends got a few good chuckles. "I heard you got beat up by Melanie and you cried like a little bitch." His friends cackled loudly beside him as they thumped him on the back.

Rachel dropped her head in defeat and pushed past him. She was done with this whole week. The dreams kept repeating every night and she was left unable to sleep. Everyone was making fun of her. Moving back was the worst thing that could've happened to her.

Shelby was sitting in the teacher's lounge as she overheard several teachers talking about what happened on one of the buses a few days ago. "Yeah, apparently Melanie Fields punched the poor girl in the face. None of the kids will say what happened, but there was a video of the whole thing. Melanie started it. She was in my class last year. A lot of the kids were scared of her."

Shelby groaned. She had dealt with Melanie a few times herself. The kid was a menace, and her parents kept making excuses for their child's behavior.

"Oh Carrie, I remember that poor, sweet little girl Rachel from my second grade class. She's a tiny thing. Melanie was in my class that year, and although I don't have any proof, I know Melanie picked on her then. She never said anything. She just accepted it." Dana, or Mrs. Robertson as she was known by her students, sighed. "It's just a shame."

Shelby's stomach rolled at the thought of the little girl getting punched in the face. She wasn't sure why she cared so much. She didn't know the girl at all. She kept remembering how sad and lonely she seemed. Even though she was surrounded by people, Rachel was alone.

"Rachel refused to tell her bus driver what happened. The principal's hands were tied since she didn't say anything. He gave the kids each two days of in school suspension. Melanie got a whole week." Carrie informed Dana with a shake of her head.

Shelby stopped listening, and decided to take her leave. Rachel's class would be in her room after recess. She couldn't help but feel for her. The kid didn't seem like she had the greatest home life, and on top of all that she had to deal with bullies at school.

She noticed a figure sitting outside her classroom and furrowed her brow. As far as she knew the kids were supposed to be at recess. There were aides out there to prevent them from roaming the halls. When children were unaccounted for, that's h how accidents happened.

As she got closer, she realized it was Rachel. Her head was buried in her knees. She didn't want to go to recess because it was getting harder to avoid her friends. She didn't want them to know what a loser she was. "Rachel," Shelby called, kneeling down in front of the slight girl.

Rachel lifted her tear stained face from her knees. Shelby felt her heart breaking at the sight of the child in front of her. She took a seat next to her, and wiped a few tears away. "Hey, please don't cry." She noticed the girl's black eye and frowned. "Is that what Melanie did?"

"You heard about that?" Rachel asked fiddling with the zipper on her sweatshirt.

"It's currently the hottest gossip." She joked, but it fell flat when Rachel didn't return her smile.

"I guess you think I am a weakling too for not being able to defend myself." Her lip trembled as a new wave of tears fell down her face.

She gently grabbed the girl's face. "No of course not, I think you are plenty strong. Some times bullies pick on others to make themselves feel good."

Rachel didn't understand that all. "How can making me feel bad about myself make Melanie feel good about herself?" Her brow crinkled in confusion as she waited for teacher's answer.

"Obviously Melanie has insecurities or problems that you don't know about. Whatever it may be, it's easier to make someone feel bad about themselves because it gives them a sense of satisfaction. They aren't the only ones who feel bad now."

Rachel crossed her arms. "Well sounds to me like she does a good job at getting satisfaction. She's bullied me since pre-school. We've been sworn enemies since I was three."

Shelby had only heard the other teachers talking about second grade. This obviously went farther back than anyone could have anticipated. "She can't bully you forever."

"Seems like she already has. It was great living in New York because she wasn't there." Rachel's eyes burned, but she was embarrassed enough for crying in front of Ms. Corcoran. "I wasn't bullied there because I was homeschooled." She admitted with a frown. At least she wasn't bullied by people her own age, she added silently.

"I promise things will get better one day. Maybe not in the immediate future, but one day people will appreciate you for the amazing girl you are." Shelby was taken aback when the girl hugged her. She gently patted her back, though she wanted nothing more than to hold the girl in her arms forever.

"Thanks Ms. Corcoran," she had helped. "Could you maybe not mention that I was crying?"

Shelby chuckled. "My lips are sealed." Rachel giggled at how silly her teacher was being. She actually zipped up her lips. "Now come on, you can help me set up for your classmates today."

Rachel readily agreed. She set out the different instruments, and helped sort out the music for the day's lesson. Ms. Corcoran was easy to talk to, and Rachel found herself talking quite a bit. "Have you been to New York before?"

"Yeah, it was great."

"I love it there. I want to go back once I graduate high school. The Tisch School of Arts at NYU is where I want to go. I mean yeah I played Cosette for two years, but I want to be the star one day." Rachel informed her. Ms. Corcoran was the first person she told about her plan. She trusted her enough, and she knew she wouldn't find it silly.

Shelby was amused by the girl as she reminded her so much of her own Rachel. "So you like Broadway?" Rachel nodded her head enthusiastically. "What's your favorite show?"

"Funny Girl with Barbra Streisand, it is a classic. I mean I know I wasn't alive at the time, but I've seen the movie. The Broadway production must have been amazing. Besides that though since technically it doesn't count, I love Wicked. It's spectacular. Annie was great too. I've seen some other shows here and there, but I was never allowed to see some of the more adult shows."

Shelby frowned. "I would hope not. Some of them are not appropriate for children."

Rachel pouted at that. "But those are some of the best ones like Rent. My dad wouldn't let me see the movie. He said there were some things that were too grown up for me." She knew she was whining, but she didn't care. Besides, she didn't really think she was a child anymore. Most children didn't have the problems she did.

"Rachel," she said sharply, startling both herself and the child. She sounded like a parent, and she knew she shouldn't. Rachel wasn't her child- despite reminding her of her own daughter. It wasn't her place to scold the girl.

Rachel's headed tilted ever so slightly. She swore that action seemed overly familiar to not only to the woman but herself.

"I'm sorry about that just now." Truly, Shelby wasn't sure why she felt the need to chastise the girl in front of her. She decided it must be the similarities between Rachel and her daughter.

"Do you have any kids Ms. Corcoran?" Rachel tilted her head up to look at her teacher.

Shelby took a deep breath. This was becoming all too much for her, but she couldn't breakdown in front of a classroom full of children or a child in this case. "Yes, I have a daughter who is about your age."

"What's her name?" Rachel thought this girl must be lucky to have someone like Ms. Corcoran as her mother. She knew she would be.

"Rachel like your own, but she uh isn't living with me." Shelby fibbed a bit, not wanting to scare the girl.

Rachel frowned at that. "I'm sorry. So is she nine or ten cause I'm nine."

"I didn't realize that. She's nine. Her birthday is later this year." Shelby's face remained neutral, not wanting to give anything away.

"Mine too, I started kindergarten when I was four." Rachel told her excitedly. "It's in December, but my dads didn't want to wait another year to put me in school."

Shelby smiled at her. "You must be really smart then." Shelby couldn't help but dwell on all the similarities between this Rachel and her Rachel. It seemed like this Rachel was sent to remind her of her own failings as a mother.

Rachel shrugged. "I think it was because my dads wanted to get rid of me. I would graduate way before I turned eighteen, and then they would be done with me. It's okay though. I can start chasing my dreams much earlier." One of them was to finally get away from them forever.

Shelby was amazed how fast the girl could bounce back. Before she could say anything else, the class started filing in. She patted the girl's head before going to the front of the room. She waited at the door, and greeted each student as they walked in.

Quinn was one of the first people to arrive. She high tailed it over to her friend to find out what her problem was. Quinn was positive she hadn't done anything wrong, and she knew that Rachel had some sort of issue on the bus a few days before. However, Rachel refused to talk about anything, and Quinn had only caught a glance of the black eye her friend was sporting. She wasn't going to let Rachel escape this time.

"Rachel, please tell me what is going on. I heard Melanie Fields punched you on the bus." God, she hated that Melanie Fields. She was the worst type of person imaginable. She had started picking on Rachel when they were only three years old, and somehow managed to be in her class every single year. Luckily, she was in a different class.

"I'm a loser. That is what's wrong. Why would you want to be friends with someone as weak as me?" Rachel muttered angrily.

Quinn's lips thinned. She hated when Rachel got like this. "I want to be your friend because you pushed Jacob Ben Israel after he stole my cookies. You told him that it wasn't my fault he had eaten all of his. He never messed with me after that, and even now he is still terrified of you."

A small smile graced Rachel's face. She had forgotten all about that incident. "He deserved it. I remember at Temple he refused to look my way after that."

"I knew I wanted you on my side that day. You stuck up for me, and you didn't even know who I was. You are strong." She took her friend's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Quinn's right." Santana playfully shuddered as the words came out of her lips. Quinn stuck her tongue out. Santana rolled her eyes. "You never backed down to anyone except Melanie. I don't know why you let her bother you. You're the one who gives her the power to do that."

"I'm sorry how terribly I have treated you guys. I just didn't want you guys to know that you have such a pathetic friend." Her eyes were all teary again.

"We know you're not. I will take care of Melanie. You can ride home with me if you want to avoid her."

"Your mom won't mind?"

Santana waved her arm. "Nah, she won't. She always liked you." The girls settled in their seats as Ms. Corcoran came in. Music class was the highlight of her day. Rachel got to play the tambourine, which wasn't too hard to play. At least she knew how to read music after playing the violin and piano, and of course singing.

The school day soon ended, and all the kids waved goodbye to Ms. Corcoran. "Have a great day Ms. Corcoran, and I will see you next week. Thanks again for everything." Rachel smiled at her as she exited the room.

Mrs. Lopez beamed at Rachel as she got in the car. The girl had grown some, although it wasn't that much of an improvement. She was such a tiny thing. She dropped her off, and watched her as she entered the house. She was upset that the girl's father wasn't home. She hoped he didn't leave her alone for too long. Mrs. Lopez always thought there was just something off about the Berry men, but she could never put her finger on it.

Rachel entered the house and froze because her father's bag was in front of the stairs. "Welcome home Rachel."


	4. Behind Closed Doors We Hide

**AN- So I'm slowing the story down. It's going to take a while for Shelby and Rachel to find out the truth about their relationship. There are mentions of child abuse in this chapter, nothing too graphic.**

* * *

Rachel straightened her posture as she timidly raised her eyes to meet his. Hiram stared at her with calculatingly, dark, cold eyes. His face held nothing but contempt for the small girl standing in front of him. "Welcome home Rachel." His voice laced with dark, sinister intentions.

"Father," she bowed her head in a show of respect.

Hiram's malevolent grin stretched across his aged face. The hair around his temples was greying. "I think you would be interested to hear this. I received a phone call from Mrs. Anderson today."

Rachel swallowed nervously, but refused to meet his gaze. She knew where this was going. "What did she say?" She asked- her voice soft as a whisper.

"She told me you've been dozing off during fucking class." She winced at the anger in his tone. "I asked you to do one simple damn thing, but you're so fucking stupid, you can't even do that right." He snatched her by the arm and dragged her up the stairs. "I guess your father hasn't disciplined you enough." He gritted out. He threw her onto the floor to kneel in front him.

Rachel sniffled as the pain in her knees hit her. "Do you remember the rules?" He asked her as he rummaged through through closet in search of his whip.

"Yes… sir." She remembered at the last minute to tack on the sir. The punishments were often worse if she forgot to be respectful.

He smirked at her obedience. It never failed to displease him. "Start counting, and I'll stop when I think you've learned your lesson. Don't mess up or we start from the beginning." He leaned closer to whisper harshly in her ear. "Don't forget what happens when your hands get in the way." Rachel shivered at the reminder of the time he tied up her hands. She still had faint scars on her wrists from being tied up.

Rachel bit her lip to halt the scream as he struck her back for the first time. "One.." she wailed. "Two…" She forgot how much worse his whippings were. Nanny Jane's weren't even as bad. His punishments were agonizing- the pain simply excruciating. Every time the whip cracked against her back she whimpered. She couldn't cry because if there was anything he preyed upon it was weakness. She recalled how he would tell her 'I'll give you something to really cry about'. His was always a slow burn leading up to a grand finale.

When he finished, he kicked her down with his foot. Kneeling beside her, he pulled her roughly by her hair. "I don't want your fucking teacher to call again. If she does, I will blister your ass. Do you understand me you little bitch?" Rachel tearfully nodded, her chin quivering. He slammed her face down onto the floor before collecting himself. "Good, now clean yourself up, you piece of shit."

The brunette could feel the rawness of her inflamed back. She held back her tears as she slowly picked herself up and staggered to her bedroom. Rachel was aware that it was probably bleeding, and soon she would have sores all over her back. She rubbed her tender head where he had pulled at her hair. Her face would bruise later from where he smashed it into the floor. She was accustomed to applying make-up to her injuries to keep anyone from suspecting what was happening at home. It wouldn't be anything new.

It wasn't exactly in her top ten of worst beatings, but it definitely made top twenty. As she stood in front of the mirror, she scrutinized the state of her back. There would be no way she would be able to bathe with it looking as it did. She remembered the first time, LeRoy attempted to clean her up. The pain almost tripled because her skin was so exposed. She howled in agony as he cleaned them out. He only did it once Hiram left because he would've done it again if he heard her 'sniveling like a baby'.

Often Hiram didn't mind if he tore open healing wounds. He took delight in hearing her scream and beg for mercy. He thrived off of it. She learned to dull her senses enough after some time, but with LeRoy and Nanny Jane, their punishments never equaled the torture she experienced with Hiram. He seemed to relish in showing her his displeasure with her behavior. He loved the control and power of being in the top position. He told her so once.

She would need to build her tolerance back up once again if she was going to survive living with him. Rachel knew she couldn't afford to be disobedient. She had no one except her fathers, and they had told her what happened to children like her in the system. They were called little bastard children and children of sin. They would treat her worse than her fathers, and she wouldn't be beaten to learn to be better but to beat the sin out of her.

Rachel found the aloe under her sink and began to clean up the cuts as best she could. It would definitely have to be t-shirts for a while to cover up her back. She would have to sleep on her stomach for a few nights to allow her back some reprieve and a chance to heal a bit.

She could hear him down below in his office as he spoke politely to someone at work. His voice was muffled so she couldn't actually make out what he was saying. All the young girl knew was to not get in his way for however long he was staying.

She prepared herself for bed and was mindful of the wounds on her back as she put on her shirt. She hissed as the shirt rubbed against one of them. The rapid footsteps on the stairs alarmed the young girl as she maneuvered herself to the wall. Her back pressed up against it and she cried out in pain at the bitter sting.

Hiram walked through the doorway-his face expressionless. He snatched her by the arm. "Let me go," she yelled as her fists pounded ineffectively at his arm. It only served to further fuel his ire as he backhanded her into the wall. Rachel heard the crack of his hand against her cheek, but there was a delay in her reaction. She could barely feel the slap on her skin. She held a hand to her cheek, but she felt nothing.

"I've warned you about causing trouble all the damn time. You're principal called and told me about the bus. You got beat up by some girl because you're fucking pathetic. Is that how you got the black eye?" He didn't wait for to confirm or deny it before he once again grabbed her arm and pulled her into a standing position. She realized a second too late where he was taking her.

She shook her head as tears fell. "Please, no…" she begged with tears falling down her face. "Anything but that. Please, I'll be good. I'll be good." She attempted to plead with his better side.

He chuckled darkly. "You will once your time in the closet is complete." With that last retort, he threw into the closet. She rushed to her feet as she tried to stop him from closing the door.

The lock clicked firmly into place and she heard the chain slide into place. "Please let me out." She pounded on the door. "I'm sorry. I'll be good. I'll do what you want. Don't leave me in here." She sobbed heavily. "I'll be good." She sobbeed brokenly.

Rachel fell to her knees and leaned against the door. She knew he left the room and most likely the house. He would return eventually as to make sure she didn't die, but he would keep her in the room long enough to teach her a lesson about not following the rules he set. He wanted her to know that he was God in his house. He had the power to give and he had the power to take everything away.

The little girl hated the closet. It was the scary place. It was the dark room in her dreams. This was the room where all her nightmares became reality. The memories were coming back to her of the last time she was in the closet. This was the reason she hated them, and preferred to keep the door open.

Rachel laid on the closet floor, unable to move. Her knees were clutched to her chest. The situation had gotten away from her. She never intended for him to find out what happened with Melanie, but he did. He also found out about her falling asleep in class. No matter how she tried to hide her bad actions, he always knew. Her poor behavior reflected on him. She deserved what he did to punish her because she was bad.

Time in the closet was strange. She remembered being confused the first time they let her out. It was a punishment used often until she admitted to them she made up her mommy. The sun always seemed brighter after time spent in the closet. Her skin was a sickly pale color and underneath her eyes- the skin was purple and pink. She could barely move her hands without them shaking and her legs were all wobbly. Her mouth was dry like the Sahara. Her voice was scratchy from all the crying and lack of talking.

At one point, she thought she heard the front door shut. He left her there in the dark and quiet. The silence was the worst part. It made her more scared. She didn't like it in the slightest. Her breath hitched and her tummy was feeling queasy again. Her hand kept shaking, and she was cold. She couldn't breathe. She was going to die in the closet.

Her asthma had been bad her entire life. She took one deep breath and the next until it wasn't as bad. She knew what her triggers were, and she tried to control her breathing as best she could. When she felt it was under control, she started to sing to herself as tears streamed down her face like tiny little rivers. "The sun will come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there will be sun. Just thinking about tomorrow…"

"_Rachel," the voice whispered softly. Rachel turned her face into the hand caressing her cheek and sighed happily. "My love, it is time to wake up."_

_The little girl frowned. "Mom, I don't want to go to school."_

_The mother broke into a peal of laughter as Rachel pouted. "Come on, get up." She gently nudged her towards the end of the bed._

"_You're not being nice." Rachel's eyes fluttered open as she watched her mother soften. _

_Her fingers came down to tickle the girl. Rachel squirmed away from the attack, but her mom caught her in an embrace. "I'm the mama."_

_Rachel looked seriously at her mother. "I know."_

"_I love you." Her mother pressed her lips to her forehead. _

_Rachel nestled into her mom's neck. "I love you too mommy even when you're being mean and tickling me."_

_The mother shook her head. "Get going you, you're going to make us late for school." Green eyes shone brightly with mirth. _

_The girl scrambled out of the bed and entered the bathroom to get ready as her mother said. When she finished, she went back to her room only to find it wasn't the same room with the green walls. "Mommy?" She called tentatively._

"_Did you really think you could escape me?" It was the red eyes again. "You know your mother was nothing but a slut who wasn't fit to raise a child. That's how we got you."_

_The girl cowered as the eyes came closer. Her body trembled with fear as the footsteps neared. "I guess you have yet to learn your lesson." The belt came down and the girl screamed. _

"AHHHHHH!" Rachel screamed as she shot up from the floor. She scrambled to the back of the closet as she tried to calm down. "It wasn't real." She muttered over and over as she hugged her knees to her chest. "Just a dream." She rocked back and forth- almost catatonically.

* * *

Shelby woke up in a sheen of sweat. Her breathing escalated. She felt the crushing ache in her heart. Rachel needed her. She just knew something was wrong with her baby girl. Rachel was in pain somewhere.

It strengthened her resolve to find her child. She was going to find Rachel if it was the last thing she did. She needed to help her because she just knew that something bad happened.

* * *

Mrs. Polasky, next door heard raised voices as she worked in her garden Friday evening. She saw the little girl come home from school on Friday, but it was now Tuesday.

Normally she found her neighbor to be a calm man, but she always thought there was something off with Hiram Berry. He and his ex-husband came off as a little too polite. When she noticed that the little girl had moved back in, she made it her mission to watch out for her. Something about that family never seemed right to her. The little girl always appeared to be miserable when in the company of the two men. She rarely ever saw a smile on her face.

It also bothered her that he could leave her home alone all the time. She couldn't be older than ten. Mrs. Polasky figured there must be a babysitter, but the only people she ever saw enter and exit the house was the girl and Hiram. She had raised four children; she could never imagine leaving them home alone like he left the girl alone. She watched as he angrily stormed out, and got into his car Monday morning. The girl was nowhere in sight. In fact, the woman hadn't seen the girl since she was dropped off at home Friday afternoon. It was Tuesday afternoon and still no sighting of the girl.

She was worried, and her instincts were telling her she needed to get involved. They had never failed her before. There was something more going on. Something had happened to the little girl and she was going to get to the bottom of it. She ran into her house and dialed 911.

"Nine-one-one, how may I help you?"

"Three days ago I heard shouting from my neighbor's house. There are only two occupants. Him and his daughter, but I haven't seen her since Friday. She normally leaves her house at 7:30 to go school. There hasn't been any sign of her."

"Okay ma'am, I am sending someone over right away." The emergency respondent assured her.

"Thank you."

Mrs. Polasky watched as officers rang the doorbell fifteen minutes later. No one answered. They broke the door down, and stormed the house. She prayed that the little girl was okay. She would never forgive herself if something happened to that little girl and she could've prevented it by being more attentive.

* * *

Rachel lost track of time. She didn't know Saturday from Tuesday, nine in the morning from nine at night. It was just dark. Time was always funny in the closet. It was always dark. There was never any light. Hiram never kept light bulbs in the overhead light. He wanted to teach her a lesson. She learned to fear the dark because no one ever knows what will happen to them in the dark.

She heard rushed footsteps and pushed herself against the wall. She cowered in fear, hoping Hiram wasn't coming for her. She didn't want to die. She started crying all over again. She was going to die in this house. She was never going to get away from him because he was going to kill her. No one would ever know what happened to her.

* * *

Officer Hardey was damn good at his job. There was something not right about this house. For one, if there was a little girl living here, how come there were no toys, or anything that indicated a child lived in the house. While his fellow officers scoured the first floor, he went up to the second in search for the child. He easily distinguished which bedroom was the girl's. Everything seemed mostly undisturbed. It was like there was no child living there at all. It was a little too perfect and pristine.

The woman who had called in had mentioned the girl never left the house. She wasn't downstairs though, and her room showed no signs of her. However, it was clear that she was not at school as her backpack and textbooks were downstairs in a heap by the stairs as if they were suddenly dropped.

He looked around the room for further clues as to the child's location when his eyes landed on the closet. Normally his eyes would've passed over it, but there was a chain on the door. People don't lock closets unless they were attempting to hide something. He rushed to the door and slid the chain. However, the door still wouldn't budge as he tried to push open the door. The doorknob was locked as well but with a key. He knew the only way he would be able to reach the girl if she was in the closet was to kick it open.

Office Hardey kicked the door open. At first, nothing stuck out until he detected a slight movement out of the corner of his eye. There it was again accompanied by a shuffled sound. There was someone in there. He tried to get closer, but noticed that the girl cowered in fear. "Please don't hurt me," she sobbed. "I'm sorry. Please, I'm sorry. So sorry. I don't want to die." He had yet to see her face as she had it buried in the floor. "Please don't kill me. I'll do better. I can be better."

Officer Hardey had never dealt with a situation such as this. It was rare in this town to have a victim of child abuse. He had never worked in the bigger cities- instead preferring the quietness that Lima offered. Never before had he considered the possibility of encountering such a broken child. "Hi," he whispered softly to the distressed girl.

Rachel sniffled as she peeked slightly to look at the newcomer. "Who are you?" She asked timidly. "Did my dad ask you to hurt me as well?" It was a logical conclusion for the girl to come to considering her current situation.

Derek shook his head. "No, I'm Officer Derek Hardey. I work at the Lima Police Department. Can you tell me your name sweetheart?"

"Rachel. My name is Rachel." She offered, still not moving from her protective position.

He knew it was best to get her to trust him before he made any sudden movements. "How old are you?"

"I'm nine." Slowly she picked up her head to get a clearer look at him.

He nodded. "I'm thirty-six." He told her to make her feel more at ease with him.

Rachel crinkled her nose. "That's really old." She informed him with a giggle. "You better go before my dad comes back. He will be really mad." She informed him.

"Your dad isn't coming back honey. He's going to jail. I'm going to take you somewhere you will be safe." He stayed in a sitting position because he knew she was still terrified of disobeying her father. He was going to wait until she was ready.

Rachel silently contemplated the information. Could it be true? Could she finally get away? Maybe she could find her mother. She was still wary of this officer. What if it was a trick? Her dad could be testing her and she didn't want to fail if he was. The officer did seem trustworthy though. His eyes were earnest and soft, much softer than Hiram's had ever been. She decided she would trust him. Her need to get out of the closet outweighed everything else.

Slowly a hand crawled out from her body. Derek watched as the little girl slowly maneuvered herself from her spot nestled in the wall. He couldn't see her very well as there was no light in the closet and not enough flooded in from the bedroom window.

"Are you hurt?" He asked as he saw her wince slightly.

Rachel rapidly shook her head. "No hospitals, please." She pleaded with him.

It was something he couldn't promise. It was his job to protect the citizens of Lima- young and old. He would be damned if that man escaped jail free for what he did to this girl. "Come on Rachel, I need to see you so I can help as best I can."

Gradually he was able to coax her out of the closet, but he wasn't prepared for the sight that awaited him. Never before had he seen such a sight. He vowed to protect people, yet this girl had slipped under everyone's radar. She had a busted lip and a huge bruise on the side of her face. Her forehead was slightly discolored. Her hands were cut deeply as if she tried to protect herself. He wanted to vomit. He couldn't believe this happened and no one knew anything. He wondered what would've transpired had the neighbor never placed the call. Would this girl be dead? Why had the world betrayed a nine year old girl? What could she have done to ever deserve this?

"I need you to stay right here while I go out in the hall and talk to my friends. Can you do that for me sweetheart?" She nodded- a frown marring her already bruised face. He smiled kindly at her.

He watched as she stretched and grimaced in pain. Derek could now see the back of her pink t-shirt. It was caked in blood, and he wasn't sure he wanted to know what her back looked like if there was that much blood.

"I need a paramedic." He said into his walkie-talkie. "I got a 1510. It's bad."

"Copy that, sending for one right away." Derek went back into the bedroom. His fellow officers were combing through the house for evidence. They wanted to make sure the guy was put in jail for a longtime. Child abusers and molesters had the worst time in jail- even inmates had their limits. Children were innocents. They are inferior and unable to properly defend themselves against grown adults who should know better.

Ten minutes later, Rachel was carefully lifted onto the stretcher. They were gentle with her as they told her stories to distract her when they inserted an IV once she was in the ambulance. He didn't leave her side until they were getting ready to leave the house.

Wary brown eyes widened in panic. "Are you leaving me?"

"No, I'll visit you at the hospital. I have to fill out paperwork and then I have to get your statement." He wasn't going to break anymore promises to this kid. Her fathers clearly had done that enough to her. She didn't need anyone else lying to her.

* * *

Quinn and Santana bit their lips in worry when Rachel didn't appear at school for the third day in a row. She had their phone numbers so they didn't understand why she wouldn't call them to say she was sick.

The playground was abuzz with activity among the fifth graders that morning. They shared looks as everyone blatantly stared at them. When they passed Kurt, they grabbed him by the arm. "What is going on?" Quinn asked him with a slightly raised eyebrow.

He darted his eyes before resting them on her face. "You haven't heard." His face fell as if explaining was the last thing he wanted to do. "On the bus home yesterday, a bunch of kids saw police at the Berry house. Then Blake Riley said his dad saw an ambulance leave earlier in the day with Rachel."

Santana and Quinn were horrified. "Are you sure?" Santana glared at him- daring him to change his story.

"Yes," he nodded. "My dad said that they arrested her dad. The whole town knows about it. No one knows what happened. My dad looked real mad last night. I think it was on the news. My dad made me leave the room."

"No one knows anything about Rachel?" Quinn couldn't keep the worry out of her voice. Rachel was her best friend. She felt a connection to her. She reminded her of someone, but she could never figure out who it was. Rachel was tiny, and she couldn't be hurt. She was the smallest person in their class. How could anyone hurt her?

Kurt looked at her sadly and shook his head. "All I know is what I heard from the other kids. No one's parents are really telling them anything. And I heard there's going to be an assembly today for everyone in fourth and fifth grade." He waved goodbye to them before meeting with some of his other friends.

"Maybe I can visit her in the hospital." Quinn told Santana absentmindedly. "My mom loves Rachel and she would want to know that she's okay." Santana nodded in agreement. It was their job to look out for Rachel. Besides Santana had an in since her dad worked there.

* * *

Rachel drifted in and out of sleep as the hospital staff preferred to keep her on a morphine drip as to not feel any pain. Karen was the peds nurse assigned to her room. The little girl was frightened, and they wanted to limit her exposure to other people as much as possible. It was hard for Karen to imagine that such a small girl would be turning ten in a few months.

Her back was scarred with faint scars crossing her back. The main concern at the moment was to get her infection under control. The sores were left unattended for four days and infection had set in. They had her on antibiotics, but her body was weak. She hadn't consumed anything in over four days. Her body was severely dehydrated, which was why they had her on fluids. All she could think was the poor baby. There were so many wires attached to her small body. She was glad the girl was barely cognizant of what was going on around her. She suffered from a trauma none of them could even begin to imagine, and still had a long way to go in the healing process.

Dr. Lopez walked past Rachel's room and frowned when he recognized the girl on the bed. He heard whispers around the hospital about an abused child admitted the day before, but he couldn't believe it was a child he knew. Glancing down the hall, he entered the room.

"Please," she muttered in her sleep- her eyes squeezed shut. "I'll be good. I promise. Don't like the dark. Let me out." She shouted.

Dr. Lopez quickly walked towards the girl. "Rachel, honey you need to wake up. You are having a nightmare."

Rachel eyes fluttered open. All she saw before her was a man with dark hair and she freaked. "Please don't kill me. I promise I will be good. I promise." It broke John's heart to hear a little girl he had known since she was a toddler begging for her life. He couldn't believe he had missed it. He was a doctor. Why had nothing ever seemed unusual to him? That was lie though. He and his wife questioned for years the odd behavior of the Berry men. They passed it off as the men realizing they weren't cut out for parenthood. They never imagined the horrors that went on behind closed doors at the Berry residence.

"Rachel, it's me, Dr. Lopez… Santana's father." She halted her movements as she got a good look of him. He watched as her body literally deflated into the mattress. "Are you in any pain?"

Rachel thought about the question. She didn't really feel much of anything. "No I don't think so."

He smiled at her. "Good, that means the medicine is working." He assured her. "The doctors gave you some antibiotics because you've got an infection."

The little girl began to cry because she didn't want to be here. "You've got to get me out of here." She told him. "He will kill me. I was bad and got him in trouble."

"I can't do that."

Her face crumbled as she began to sob heavily. "I can't breathe. Dr. Lopez… I… c-can't breathe." She began to wheeze as panic set in.

John rushed into action- familiar with Rachel's previous asthma attacks. Five minutes later, Rachel had a mask over her face as medicine was administered to her. At the moment, the girl could barely breathe on her own. She gazed sleepily at him as her eyes drifted shut once more. John watched the tiny girl and reveled in her strength. She was braver than any adult he knew.

* * *

Sharon Mather was a social worker assigned to Rachel E. Berry's case. Most people in the town of Lima assumed that there wasn't a need for social services because they never heard about children in abusive situations. However, just because a person doesn't hear about, doesn't mean it doesn't happen. On the outside people appeared innocent, but on the inside some people were monsters. No one knew that more than the children she had overseen since becoming a social worker.

Rachel Berry however was a new one for her. Most parents resorted to hitting their children or not feeding them. Rachel was different. She was beaten and locked in a closet without any food for four days. While she had heard of horror stories such as this, she had never once experienced it for herself.

The moment she caught her first glimpse at the girl, she couldn't imagine how anyone could consider hurting such a small, defenseless human being. Sharon had looked over her file, and could hardly believe that the girl was as old as she was. Her body was reminiscent of a six or seven year old. Her face was badly bruised, and Sharon had seen the photos of the girl's back.

They had more than enough to charge him with child abuse and neglect. Police in New York arrested the ex-husband as well- at least as an accomplice for the time being. They needed to speak with the girl. LeRoy was detained in New York as some of this more than likely occurred there. It was under their jurisdiction, and there was no way they were going to extradite him to Ohio. They had the right to prosecute him.

"Officer Hardey, may I have a word?" She asked.

Derek nodded wearily. "What can I do for you ma'am?"

Sharon combed through the file she had on Rachel Berry before finding what she wanted to discuss. "There is something not adding up. The Berry men claimed to have adopted the little girl, yet there isn't any official documentation. Without anything on the mother, we will have to put the girl into foster care."

His eyes widened as a grim expression settled on his face. "I don't like that. What if something happens to her?"

The social worker didn't like the idea either, but she had no choice. Her hands were tied and it was protocol. "Well until she's all better, she won't be leaving the hospital. They want to get her infection under control. Her body is weak. The doctors said she would probably spend a week here before they even consider the possibility of discharging her."

"Do you know if the girl has any friends? Maybe their parents would consider the possibility of taking her in. I don't think it would be a good idea to send her to live with strangers after all of this."

Sharon was inclined to agree with the officer. It would be better to place the girl with someone she was familiar with or in a home where she would be provided what she needed.

* * *

"_Rachel?" The woman's voice called softly. _

_A grin stretched across her face as she heard her. "Mommy?" She exclaimed joyfully as she ran as fast her legs would carry her._

_Strong arms wrapped tightly around her body and she snuggled into the woman- her mom's chest. This was where she belonged. "I missed you more than you'll ever know baby."_

"_I think I have a good idea." She cried into her mother's blouse. She never imagined she would see this woman again. Her voice haunted her dreams, but it was the face she never saw. All she knew was the woman's hair was the same as hers. And her eyes, -the soft, warm green eyes._

_Her mother planted several kisses to her hair- her arms never once letting her go. "Oh love, I thought you were lost to me forever."_

"_So did I." She retorted- her face still buried in her mother's shirt. Her nostrils were filled with the sweet scent of lavender. She sighed happily. "I love you." _

"_And I love you." Her mother began to sing softly to her. _

_Suddenly you're here,_

_Suddenly it starts_

_Can two anxious hearts_

_Beat as one?_

_Yesterday I was alone_

_Today you walk beside me,_

_Something still unclear,_

_Something not yet here_

_Has begun_

_Suddenly the world_

_Seems a different place_

_Somehow full of grace,_

_Full of light._

_How was I to know that so much hope_

_Was held inside me?_

_What is past is gone,_

_Now we journey on through the night_

_How was I to know at last_

_That happiness can come so fast?_

_Trusting me the way you do_

_I'm so afraid of failing you_

_Just a child who cannot know_

_That danger follows where I go_

_There are shadows everywhere_

_And memories I cannot share..._

_Nevermore alone_

_Nevermore apart_

_You have warmed my heart_

_Like the sun._

_You have brought the gift of life_

_And love, so long denied me._

_Suddenly I see_

_What I could not see_

_Something suddenly_

_Has begun._

_The voice was magical. She listened mesmerized without once interrupting. _

Rachel's eyes fluttered open. It was the first time she had slept and her sleep went uninterrupted. The entire time spent in the closet, there was nothing but nightmares. She could hardly distinguish between what was real and what was in her dreams. They meshed together until she no longer knew if she was awake or asleep. It was the scariest part of the whole ordeal. It didn't mater how many times she pinched herself because it was real. She was trapped in the dark with no way out.

Her eyes trailed over the room. She had her own room, which she saw as a plus. She wasn't sure she was ready to talk to or see anyone else besides her nurse and doctors. Officer Hardey spoke with her earlier that day, but she didn't say much. She told him she was used to it. It was her life. She lived it. It was all she knew. While her greatest wish was to get away from them, she never imagined it to be something she would actually accomplish.

She asked the officer what would happen to her now. He told her she was entered into the system and was now a ward of the state. They were trying to figure out who her mother was, but so far there weren't any promising leads.

All she had were her dreams, which she wasn't sure were real. The woman's face was always blurry, but the voice- oh the voice. She could never forget it. She longed to hear that voice once again. It couldn't be a dream. Could it? Had she imagined it all like her fathers said? Or was there a woman out there waiting for her like she was waiting for the woman?

* * *

**AN- Thoughts?**


	5. The Secrets We Hide

**AN- This chapter switches POVS a bit. There are different reactions to what happened to Rachel. There is also an introduction to a few new characters, but only one of them will remain a permanent fixture throughout the rest of the story. This chapter is just shy of 8,000 words. It's the longest one yet. I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

Judy Fabray worriedly chewed on her bottom lip as she watched the five o'clock news. She honestly couldn't believe what it was she watching. It couldn't be true.

Russell sat stoically beside her as they listened to Mrs. Polasky talked about what happened.

"_I heard raised voices Friday afternoon. I hadn't thought much of it. It was earlier today that I realized I hadn't seen the girl who lived next door since she walked into her home. I've known that girl since they moved here, and I have never known her to be sick. Something told me that I needed to get help because whatever went on in that house wasn't good."_

_It switched back to the studio. "The child in question was removed from the home and is currently at an undisclosed location. We do know that the nine year old was found in a locked closet with an undeterminable amount of injuries. We do not know the extent of which at this time. Hiram Berry, forty-six was arrested this afternoon and is the main suspect in the case. We will keep you updated as we find out more information." The vapid blonde smiled vainly for the camera. _

"That was Rachel's neighbor." Judy muttered to her husband. Rachel was Quinn's best friend. They had known the girl since she was three years old. They had seen her grow. She was a member of their family. They attended her recitals and competitions when her fathers couldn't be bothered. Judy usually helped her with her hair and make-up.

Russell grumbled unintelligibly beside her. He was angry. This shouldn't have happened. They should've known that it was happening. Were the signs there? Was it true that those men had been harming that little girl for so long and no one noticed? "I need to lay down." His head hurt from thinking of all the horrible possibilities.

Judy stared at her husband's retreating back as she fought the urge to ask him about dinner. It wasn't pertinent to the problem at hand. She needed to see Rachel. That was her priority. Quinn told her earlier the week before that the girl was back, but Judy had yet had the chance to see her. Maribel Lopez dropped her off at home the week before because Judy had to comfort a friend who was going through a rough patch.

This could potentially be the straw that would break the camel's back. "Mommy, we are home." Frannie and Quinn announced as they walked through the front door. Judy quickly shut the television off, neither girl needed to know. She wasn't sure if they could handle it.

Quinn raced into the living room to give her mother a hug. Judy soaked up the warmth and love from the embrace. Why did the world have to be an ugly place?

"You're actually here." Quinn whispered in awe. "I thought you would be at your friend's house again."

Judy sighed as she ran a hand through her daughter's corn silk colored hair. "Tonight wasn't a good night." It definitely wasn't now that the news had broken about Rachel Berry.

* * *

Shelby entered her house with slumped shoulders. She was exhausted. Today she had Rachel's class except Rachel wasn't there. While it hurt to talk to the girl, it was nice having a student who appreciated the fine art of music. None of the other kids were as joyful as that little girl.

She switched on her television and flipped to the nightly news.

"_In other news, today in Lima, a local man Hiram Berry was arrested on charges of child abuse and neglect. More on this when we come back." _

Shelby knew after hearing his last name what child was involved. It wasn't as if Berry was a common last name. Was that why Rachel wasn't in school?

"_At two o'clock this afternoon emergency responders received a phone call from a concerned neighbor."_

_"Nine-one-one, how may I help you?"_

_"Three days ago I heard shouting from my neighbor's house. There are only two occupants. Him and his daughter, but I haven't seen her since Friday. She normally leaves her house at 7:30 to go school. There hasn't been any sign of her."_

_"Okay ma'am, I am sending someone over right away." _

_"Thank you."_

"_When the police arrived, they found the girl in a locked closet. Authorities say that the girl was badly beaten. They have refused at this time to give a full description. However an investigation is being opened up to find out what happened."_

_Officer Derek Hardey stood in front of the camera. "I was the officer who found the girl. I don't want to talk about what I saw only that from appearances, it wasn't the first time. We are conducting an investigation at this time, and are unable to provide more details at this time."_

"_The child in question has been taken to the hospital. We will keep you guys updated as we find out more."_

Shelby gaped in horror. Her stomach was in knots as she tried to comprehend how something like this could happen. Rachel was such a sweet child. Why would anyone especially her father want to her? She didn't want to think about what the girl looked like because it only made her think about her own daughter. She didn't feel like opening that can of worms. She could only imagine what her mind would conjure up if she allowed herself to go there.

* * *

John Lopez knew he would be unable to lie to his wife, but as a doctor he was forbidden from releasing knowledge about patients. So when his wife called him as he expected her to because something like this wouldn't stay quiet long in their sleepy town, he tried to be as evasive as possible.

"John, did you hear about Rachel Berry?" She asked frantically over the phone. There was no greeting or exchange of 'I love you.' Maribel Lopez got down to business. She was never one to dilly dally.

He rubbed his forehead as he considered his next words. "Yes, and before you ask I can't tell you anything. While I am not her doctor, I am a doctor and bound by law not to reveal any details of patients unless it is to a family member." He could hear her grumbling and smiled affectionately. He loved how fiercely protective she was.

"Can I see her?" Her voice was timid.

"You'll have to talk to her caseworker. It is a bit complicated as she has no other relatives but those men." He spit out. He was completely disgusted.

She sighed. "I feel the same. I wish I had seen it. We always said how there was something off. Now look what has happened. This is why she never wanted to go swimming." He remembered the pool parties they hosted in the summer. Rachel was content to sit at the edge in a t-shirt and shorts as her friends played in the water.

John thought she was afraid of drowning or something- never once did it cross his mind the secret she hid. "I wish I would've known."

"I talked to Judy earlier, and she feels horrible. Russell said he would talk to social services about where Rachel will go. She's a ward of the state now. They could send her to a group home or a foster home." John knew this. Rachel told him about what her social worker said.

* * *

Hiram Berry sat in an interrogation room with a smug smirk. He already called in his lawyer, and his contacts at the ACLU were going to help. Sure he had not specified the charges, but it was an outrage what they were accusing him of. He was a homosexual man, and they were simply angry because of how he chose to parent.

He knew that when he saw her again he was going to kill the little bitch. She ruined everything from the very beginning. She cost him his marriage. He never wanted a child anyways, but LeRoy had. No one would give them one, and they were once going to adopt but It fell through at the last minute. The mother couldn't bear to give away her child- her parents would rather her raise it than a bunch of a gay men.

One day, it all became clear. If they couldn't have their own child then they would take one. It would be easy enough. Many parents at parks rarely paid attention to their children. All they had to do was figure out specifically which child would suit them the most. If only he knew then what he knew now. Then there wouldn't be all this mess going on around him. It was a little misunderstanding. It would be cleared up.

He just hoped that LeRoy kept his trap shut. His stupid ex-husband nearly ruined it all by taking her with him. He grew somewhat attached to the girl, and couldn't leave her with him. He took her to New York of all places and let her perform for audiences like an idiot. What if the mother discovered her? He never thought anything through.

They thought they were getting a healthy, well-mannered child. Rachel could be behaved after she was punished. The problem was that she was a willful, stubborn, opinionated, curious child. She refused to forget her mother for the first three months. That was when they involved their friend who was a therapist. They had to be her only parents. Unfortunately, Rachel still never let it go. She was silenced of course, but she was biding her time.

He couldn't wait to get ahold of her. He would choke the life out of her and enjoy it. Nothing would bring him greater happiness than to witness the life leave her eyes.

* * *

LeRoy Berry thrummed his fingers on the table. They arrested him last night on charges of abuse. A judge issued a court order on Rachel's medical records. He knew what they would see.

Rachel had been hospitalized twice in the first year. Her records would describe the two broken legs, three fracture arms, cracked bone plate, the concussion, five sprained wrists, 9 broken fingers, and dislocated shoulder. They never went to the hospital or a clinic to treat her instead they had a private physician who was paid handsomely for his discretion and silence. They couldn't afford after her two hospitalizations to have doctors asking questions. Someone would inevitably called CPS.

Hiram promised him a child. He thought Rachel would be perfect. She was entertaining, engaging, and simply delightful. She put on performances for the other children and parents at the park. It was luck that allowed them to take her that day. A babysitter arrived with the girl instead of her mother who usually watched her like a hawk or played with her on the playground.

He believed it was meant to be when they were able to snatch her so easily at the park that day. Things went downhill as soon as she woke up though. She freaked out and had a severe asthma attack. He knew that if they were aware of her defect that they never would've taken her. They would've settled their sights on some other child.

Rachel cost them so much over the years. She remembered too much, but they had a therapist suppress her memories. They couldn't have her running at the mouth every time she left the house to attend school. Sometimes he wished he had let Hiram kill her when they first took her. None of this would be happening otherwise.

It was no longer his duty to protect Hiram though. He wanted to secure a deal with the DA for a more lenient sentence. His lawyer was negotiating with her and in exchange LeRoy would tell them everything. He wouldn't mention the kidnapping. They didn't need to know about that. It wasn't part of the charges, and he highly doubted that Hiram would mention it.

His lawyer entered the room grim faced. "The DA is only offering a deal if you tell them everything and I mean everything. She is working with the police back in Lima. The deal will be null and void if details come out later on that you omitted something. You need to tread carefully." He warned his client.

LeRoy muttered a few expletives as his initial plan flew right out the window. He would be screwed if they found out the truth about Rachel's origins. He couldn't afford to lose his deal. "How long do I have to consider this?"

* * *

"Where is Rachel Berry's room?" Judy asked one of the nurses at the nurses' station. She was granted permission from Sharon Mather, the social worker assigned to Rachel's case, to visit with the girl.

The woman smiled. "Are you family?"

"No, but I have written consent from her case worker to visit." She slid the paper across the counter.

She typed a few things into the computer before meeting her eyes once again. "The patient is in 305."

Judy smiled politely and thanked her. She took a few breaths as she neared the room. The blonde mother only saw the eager little seven year old with her two front teeth missing. She didn't want to be disillusioned, but there wasn't any choice. Sharon said that more than likely the girl would be placed in a home outside of Lima if they couldn't find a suitable match that would make the girl feel comfortable.

She knocked on the door before entering. Rachel was awake and crying. Her back burned whenever she moved, and she was in so much pain. The infection worsened and her antibiotics were switched out. The morphine had yet to kick in. As a result she was feeling everything.

"Rachel?" The woman called softly.

The little girl shyly raised her eyes to meet the bluish-green ones of Mrs. Fabray. "Hi Mrs. Fabray." She greeted-her voice raspy.

Judy tsked the young girl. "Rachel, you can still call me Aunt Judy. That's only if you feel safe. You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

Dark hazel eyes followed the blonde woman as she took a seat. Her eyes were devoid of emotion, not because she wasn't feeling anything. She was guarded and rightfully so. Her eyes were red rimmed and her cheeks wet. "Aunt Judy," she tested out the words and smiled for the first time in days. "I missed you." She admitted with a tilt of her head.

Judy beamed at the bro- she wasn't a broken girl. She was incredibly brave and strong to have survived what she did. "I missed you too sweet girl."

Her eyes roamed over the visible parts of the girl's body. The bruise on her forehead was a lighter purple-turning slightly green. One of her arms had tiny bruises in the shape of fingerprints imprinted on the skin. The bruise on her cheek was fading as well. Rachel softly exhaled as she carefully prepared her words. "I'm going to a foster home next week if my infection is better. Ms. Mather says that it is hard to place kids, and if I can't be placed in a home then I'll…" she choked back a sob. "I'll go to a group home."

Judy dropped her eyes to avoid Rachel's inquisitive gaze. She cursed the social worker for informing Rachel of that. It definitely made her more resolved to take the girl in. She couldn't let Rachel go into the unknown. She had already let the girl down in so many ways. Besides Rachel reminded her so much of her younger brother. She was a pensive person, but often had impulsive tendencies. The end result usually led her straight into trouble. She was also an elaborate liar as she wove dramatic tales that in no possible universe could've happened. The similarities between the two were partially what endeared Rachel to Judy in the first place.

The doctor strode into the room and shot Judy a friendly smile before picking up the girl's chart. "How's my favorite ten year old?" He teased her as if it was some sort of game between them.

Rachel giggled at his silliness. "Dr. Rector I'm not ten yet. Remember? I told you this morning that there is still three more months until my birthday. I'm nine." Judy realized she actually had no idea when Rachel's birthday. The girl never mentioned it-almost as if it didn't exist.

"That's right." He said jovially. "You're nine but in the fifth grade. I'm sorry." Rachel playfully rolled her eyes at him. "So how are you feeling?"

"I think the morphine has started working. My back doesn't hurt as much anymore."

"So who is your lovely visitor?" He asked her as he carefully checked her back.

Rachel winced. "This is my best friend Quinn's mom. I call her Aunt Judy. She's known me since I was three. She's gone to a lot of my dance competitions."

"Is my favorite patient a good dancer?"

Judy snorted at the memories of some her little diva's dance competitions. "She is, but" she dragged out causing Rachel to pout. "She has bad sportsmanship. She once received second place and kicked her trophy into the street after the competition. Thankfully my husband rescued it before a car hit it." Judy confided much to Rachel's chagrin. It was definitely not one of her better moments.

Dr. Rector let out a deep laugh at the anecdote. "I don't have a hard time picturing that. I may have only known her for two days, but the little miss here is quite a stubborn thing."

Rachel kicked her foot. Judy swatted her leg. She knew exactly which action it was Rachel attempted to recreate from the confines of her bed. The doctor smiled at the exchange between the two. "Well Rachel, I see that you are in good hands. It was nice to meet you." He nodded at Judy before departing from the room.

Their visit lasted another hour before Judy had to pick up Quinn from school. "Tell her I said hi."

"I will." She promised-kissing the girl's forehead. Rachel soaked up the affection.

"Sometimes I dream about my mom." Her words halted Judy on her way to the door- she turned slightly to face the girl in the bed. "I think there was a time when I lived with her. In my dreams, I can never see her face, only her hair. Sometimes she sings for me. Her favorite was _Tomorrow_ from _Annie._ I don't know if they are real or not, but deep down I hope they are. Sometimes hope is all you have like in that story about Pandora's box. Once all the horrors were released into the world, the only thing left in the box was hope. I suppose that's all I have now as well. I don't think my situation could truly get any worse."

Judy wanted to commend the girl on her impromptu inspirational speech. She may only be nine years old, but Rachel was a lot wiser than most of the adults she knew. She drew a comparison from her own life to a myth and found comfort in it. "That's right Rach. Sometimes all you have left is hope for a better tomorrow. Get some rest sweetheart, and I'll be back tomorrow to visit with Quinnie… or not." She added when she saw the alarm in the girl's eyes. "Do you not want her to come?"

Rachel pursed her lips as she considered what it was she wanted to convey to the woman before her. "Aunt Judy, Quinn isn't like me. She hasn't seen the horrors of the world. I don't want to ruin that for her. Blindness to what goes on around you is a gift. Truly it is better than anything anyone could bestow upon a person." Judy felt her heart break at the loss of innocence in this little girl.

"When did you become so philosophical?" She joked-only teasing the girl a bit.

Rachel frowned. "My da- LeRoy homeschooled me. I read classics instead of traditional children's books. He even had me read Les Mis before I was allowed to audition. It wasn't awful." She said, noticing the look upon Judy's face. "I actually enjoyed the novel. I read it in it's original French text. You better go. School lets out in ten minutes."

Judy's mind raced with questions she wanted to ask, but she had to go as Rachel reminded her. "I'll see you tomorrow dear."

"Goodbye."

* * *

Lucas Williams stared at his sister as she paced the length of her kitchen. He had never seen her in such a frantic state before aside from what happened six years ago. "Are you okay sis?"

Judy stopped her hysterical motions as she focused her attention on her brother. "One of Quinn's friends is in the hospital. Her dad beat her and then locked her in a closet." She regretted the words almost immediately. She hadn't meant to remind him of his own lost chance at being a father. "I'm sorry." Her eyes were soft and sincere as she gathered her brother in a hug.

"It isn't fair. How some men waste the chance to be fathers while others have it taken away from them."

"I wish I could take away your pain." It was one of her regrets in life- not telling him about his daughter before it was too late.

He sighed through his nose. "I wish I could meet her." Judy did too.

"Maybe one day you will." Rachel's little pep talk about hope had really struck a chord with her. "At the end of the day, all we really have is hope."

He turned on the stool and raised his eyes to hers. "Who told you that?"

She planted her hands on her hips. "What makes you think I didn't come up with that on my own?" She huffed offended.

"I know you." He cackled gleefully. "Also you are offended that I said that, which means you didn't come up with it on your own."

"Fine I got it from Rachel." He sucked in a harsh breath and she cursed herself for being careless. "Sorry, Quinn's friend is named Rachel. She's nine. She's a lot wiser than most of the people I know. I'm going to talk with Russell about taking her in. I don't want her to be placed in a group or foster home. What if they treat her terribly?"

"She sounds like a sweet kid. A bit young for fifth grade." He raised an eyebrow at his sister.

"I never really thought about it before until the doctor mentioned it. Rachel never discussed when it was her birthday. She preferred to stay under the radar about personal things. I know why now." A dark look crossed her face. "She's almost a whole year younger than most of her classmates. It doesn't matter to Quinn though."

Lucas leaned his arms back onto the counter. "What is she like?" He only knew of Quinn's friend Santana. "How long have they been friends?" He doesn't think he's heard Quinn mention a Rachel before.

"They've been friends since pre-school. Rachel lived with her other father in New York for the last three years. She's a performer and lives for the stage. All I ever heard was Broadway this and did you know Annie… she was very enthusiastic about it. We attended all of her dance competitions because her fathers couldn't be bothered. I had to teach her about good sportsmanship. She hates losing. She once threw her second place trophy." Lucas threw his head back and laughed at the mental image. "She did a lot of ballet, jazz, contemporary, lyrical, and musical theater. Her voice is simply amazing." She gushed to her brother like a proud mother hen.

Lucas listened attentively, and couldn't help but think that his own daughter would share those same characteristics. "I wonder what my Rachel would be like now."

"She would have you wrapped around her whole hand. Don't try to deny it. You would've given her the world."

"Yeah," he mumbled tiredly as he glanced down at his hands. "It doesn't help that we have no idea what happened to her. Some freak took a three year old from a park, and no one saw a thing."

"At least she told you." Judy commented.

Lucas scowled. "I think she deceived me enough. I don't know what's worse- her not telling me or the fact she told me after Rachel was kidnapped." He was still bitter, and he didn't know if he could stop feeling angry for how everything happened.

"It isn't as if you are all that innocent in this mess either. You never told her you enlisted until just before you were headed off to boot camp. You were engaged to her, and you didn't think to inform her of your career decision." She crossed her arms as she stared at her brother in disappointment.

"That doesn't give her the right to lie to me about our child."

Judy threw her hands up in frustration. "I don't know why you can't be civil to her. I think it is a little harder for her than you- especially because Rachel is one of her students. Imagine how close to home that has to hit." She had never actually met her friend's daughter except when she was first born. She could sympathize as a fellow mother herself. "All I know is that Rachel Barbra was her entire world. She would do anything for her and you." She added with a piercing glare at her brother. "She knew how much the military meant, and didn't want to hold you back."

"Whatever," he hopped off the stool and stalked out the room.

"Hey mom," Frannie greeted-snatching an apple from the fruit bowl in the process.

Judy shot her a look. Frannie smiled unabashedly. The mother shook her head fondly at her daughter. "You'll spoil your dinner." She chided.

Frannie shrugged as she chomped on her apple. "What's up with Uncle Lucas?" There was a touch of concern in her voice.

Judy's lips twisted. They never told Quinn or Fran about their cousin. They didn't see the point in telling them about the little girl who disappeared. It would probably give them nightmares. "He's just puffing some smoke."

"Mom?" Judy raised an eyebrow to show she was listening. "I heard some kids at school talking about Rachel Berry." She bit her lip. "They said that her dad hit her and she's at the hospital now."

Judy's face was devoid of expression until she lowered her eyes. Frannie covered her mouth in shock. "It's true." She gasped. "I-I-I d-d-didn't think that it was. Does Quinn know?"

"I don't think so. If she does, she hasn't said anything. I don't know how to tell her. I visited with Rachel earlier today, and she's not looking great. I told her I would bring Quinn to visit, but she said that sometimes blindness from a situation is best."

"Wow I didn't realize she was that smart." Fran said impressed with the little girl she thought of as another sister.

Judy's lips pinched together to prevent herself from saying something she would come to regret later on. "Yes, she is very smart. I almost have a hard time believing she is nine."

"That's right. Her birthday is in December."

The older woman raised her eyebrows in surprise. "You know when her birthday is?" She asked her daughter.

"Well yeah, I used to bring her a cupcake. Her dads didn't do anything for her. That's why I always asked if one of the cupcakes we made for my class Christmas party could be pink. I would add an R after you went to bed." Judy had wondered why her daughter would single out a specific cupcake.

"When is it?" She wanted to do something special for her this year.

"Uh," Fran tapped her chin as she scrunched her face. "I think it is the eighteenth. I know it was like a week before Christmas. She used to get really excited when I would bring her the cupcake."

Judy frowned thoughtfully. She knew Shelby's little girl was born in December as well. It was probably another contributing factor to why this little girl appearing in her class was hard on her. It couldn't be easy.

"Do you think I could go when you visit?" She asked with a small voice.

"I think she would enjoy that."

Quinn chose that moment to burst through the front door visibly upset. Judy immediately knew she didn't want to hear the words that were about to come out of Quinn's mouth. "Is it true?" She demanded angrily.

Judy swallowed nervously and shot a look at Fran. "I'm going to go finish my homework."

"Sweetie, come sit with me at the table." She touched Quinn's shoulder and the girl shrugged off her hand, but went to sit at the table. "What have you heard?"

"For the past two days all anyone at school has talked about is the fact that Rachel was hit by her dad and is in the hospital. Joey Ward said he heard that she was locked in a closet. Mickey Thompson said that his mom is a nurse and overheard his mom talking about how she was hit with a belt. She hasn't been in school since last week. And yesterday they had an assembly where they talked to us about what to do if someone is hitting you at home." Judy had never heard her daughter talk so much at once.

"Yes, Rachel was hurt by her father and is currently in the hospital." She wiped the tears from Quinn's cheeks. "They found her in a closet on Tuesday. I'm not going to tell you everything because it isn't my business to tell. If Rachel ever feels like sharing that, then it is hers to tell. I don't want you bothering her about it."

Quinn nodded tearfully. She was hoping that her mother would say it was all a lie. She didn't want it to be true. "Can I see her at the hospital?"

Judy sighed sadly. "She doesn't want you to see her like that."

"That's not fair." She screamed at her mother. "She's my best friend. You can't keep my from seeing her. I don't think I can go back to being who I was before I knew this. Before this I never thought that parents really hit their kids to hurt them. I mean I've been spanked before, but it never hurt for more than a day. Rachel though, she's in a hospital bed. How bad does someone have to be to go to the hospital?"

Judy desperately wished her daughter hadn't been exposed to the cruelty of the world at such a young age. It was quite rare for something like this to be made public children. Most of the time this only occurred in the bad part of town-not that she thought other parents weren't capable of doing it. It was just unheard of in the circles she ran in.

"Sometimes parents punish much longer and harder than your father and I ever have. They don't always punish for the right reasons either. If they are angry sometimes they direct it at the child. Rachel is… well I don't know how to describe her situation. She is used to this sort of behavior, and she thinks it is her fault." Judy could hardly believe the words came out of the girl's mouth during their visit. Rachel told her that she was a bad child whose mistakes needed to be corrected through punishment.

Quinn frowned as her eyes shifted. "I don't understand." She told her mom. "How can it be her fault that her dad is hurting her?"

"I'm sorry to say that this is one of those things you won't quite understand until you're older. This often happens to children like her. They become accustomed to what their parents do, and they associate their parents' anger with their bad behavior." Judy tried to simplify as best she could for a ten year old. She wasn't sure if Quinn understood when she went up to her room, but it was honestly the best she could do.

"Seriously? I don't think you should've told her."

"Why not?" She asked her brother who seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.

Lucas grimaced- his eyes suddenly sad. "It is a burden to know things. It makes you think about what you could've done or noticed to prevent it from happening. Quinn isn't the type to let something like this go. She is protective by nature." Lucas loved spending time with Quinn in particular. She was by no means a replacement for his daughter, but she certainly was fun to hangout with. It was nice to know what kids Rachel's age did. It was a way to keep somewhat keep connected to the daughter he didn't know.

Judy stirred the pasta. "I think at this point we all feel like that. I know the Lopez's certainly do. I've talked with Maribel. We all agree that there was something off about the men. I don't know why none of us thought to dig a little deeper to find out what was going on in that house."

"It doesn't do well to dwell on the what ifs."

* * *

Rachel glared angrily at her door. She hated this stupid hospital. She hated all of the staff that continued to keep her there against her will. She hated her stupid social worker. She hated herself for allowing this to happen. Everything would be fine if she hadn't fallen asleep the week before, and if she ignored Melanie on the bus. If none of that happened, she wouldn't be in the position she was in at the moment.

A knock on the door caused her glare to deepen. "Come in." She muttered angrily. It was probably yet another nurse wanting to "check" her back or "change" her bandages. She knew they were really gossiping about her.

Shelby walked into the room. "Hey." She cursed herself for her stupid greeting.

Rachel perked up immediately upon seeing her new favorite teacher. "Hi Ms. Corcoran." She didn't mind in the slightest that she was in her pajamas. They let her change the other night after she complained about the itchy hospital gown.

Shelby flattened her dress as she took a seat beside the girl's bed. "How are you sweetheart?"

Rachel bit her lip as she considered whether or not to tell the woman the truth. She really liked her teacher, and didn't want her to think she was a liar. "I've been better." Rachel didn't feel like revealing too much to her teacher. "The doctors say my fever is done today, which means that my infection isn't as bad anymore." She explained to the woman.

The older brunette wasn't sure why she had chosen to visit Rachel. She just had this feeling that she needed to see the little girl to make sure she was alright. "Are they treating you well?" She wanted to keep the silence from settling otherwise the conversation would turn somewhat awkward.

"Yeah," she nodded thought the frown on her face belied her empty words.

Shelby fixed the girl with a stern look and Rachel smiled sheepishly. She was unused to being caught in trying to perpetrate a lie. "The nurses talk about me behind my back. They think I don't notice how they stare at me." Her eyes were wet with tears. "My doctor closed the door to prevent anyone from coming in unless specifically assigned to the case."

"I'm sorry this happened to you." Shelby wasn't sure why she was apologizing. It just seemed like the right thing to say, and part of her felt as if it were her fault for all the things Rachel had endured in her young life.

Rachel smiled grimly at the woman with the striking green eyes. She had never paid much attention to the color before, but she was now. They were such a pretty shade. They were a dark green, and could possibly be mistaken for brown if a person wasn't looking too closely. "You have really pretty eyes." She complimented. She wanted to distract the woman because she was sad. Rachel didn't understand why she was sad and apologizing to her. She had never done anything but be nice to her.

Shelby flushed in embarrassment. Compliments were few and far these days. "Thanks, I like yours too." Rachel's eyes were hazel. There were flecks of green and orange, but the color was definitely darker. They reminded her of someone else's eyes.

"They're only hazel." Rachel shrugged. "It isn't really that special."

"Hazel is my favorite eye color." Shelby found herself telling the girl. Her own Rachel had hazel eyes as well.

"Oh well," she looked down as her cheeks turned a nice rosy color. "That's nice."

"Do you know where you got your eye color from?"

Rachel pursed her lips. "I'm not actually sure. My fathers adopted me when I was three. I don't know what my biological parents look like." It was hard for her to admit that. She constantly wondered what her biological parents looked like. Did they have the same hair color as her? Did they have the same nose? Lips? Were they tall? They were all questions she asked herself every time she glanced in the mirror. It was hard to see yourself and not know where you came from.

"Three?" Shelby asked.

"Yeah, I don't really remember much before I was with them. I kind of remember a woman with long, wavy brown hair singing. But my dads told me that was something I conjured up in my imagination." Her face turned solemn. "In my dreams she sings the song _Tomorrow_ from _Annie_. I guess you know it since you're doing a production of it in the spring. It is my favorite song.. It is hopeful."

Shelby felt crushing despair in her heart. This girl reminded her so much of the three year old she lost so many years ago. It was almost like… she shook her head. The idea that this little girl was hers was just wishful thinking.

"May I sing it for you?" Shelby asked. "It is one of my favorites as well." Rachel had to inherit her love of _Annie _from somewhere. Rachel Berry nodded eagerly-having never heard the teacher's voice before.

_The sun will come out tomorrow_

_Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow_

_There'll be sun_

_Just thinkin' about tomorrow_

_Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow_

_'til there's none_

_When I'm stuck with a day that's grey and lonely_

_I just stick up my chin and grin and say, oh_

_The sun will come out tomorrow_

_So you gotta hang on_

_'til tomorrow, come what may!_

_Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow_

_You're always a day away!_

_When I'm stuck with a day that's grey and lonely_

_I just stick up my chin and grin and say oh_

_The sun will come out tomorrow_

_So you got to hang on 'til tomorrow, come what may!_

_Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you tomorrow_

_You're only a day away_

_Tomorrow, tomorrow I love ya tomorrow_

_You're only a day away ..._

Rachel's eyes widened as she heard the woman's voice. It was the voice in her dream, but that couldn't be right. She had never heard Ms. Corcoran sing before. How could she have known what she sounded like? They had only met last week. Then again she had this odd feeling like she had met the woman before. There was a connection, but she didn't know what it was.

"Ms. Corcoran, may I ask you a question?" Shelby nodded and smiled a little at the girl's formality. "When does your daughter turn ten?"

Shelby's smile waned, but she fed Rachel's curiosity. "Her birthday is December eighteenth. Why?"

Rachel sucked in a breath. This was too much for her. This couldn't be true. Hiram and LeRoy were her parents. Right? They may have sucked, but they were hers. "Where is she? I know you said she didn't live with you so does she live with her dad?"

The older brunette's curiosity got the better of her. She hadn't realized Rachel had soaked up as much as she had during their brief conversations. "Uh…" she twiddled her thumbs as she waited for the words to come to her. "She was taken from me when she was three years old at a park. Her babysitter-"

"Linda," Rachel whispered softly. She always liked the name Linda. She thought it just rolled right off the tongue.

Shelby furrowed her brow. "How did you know that?"

"It rolls right off the tongue. I named my favorite doll Linda." She murmured. Shelby was sure the girl wasn't talking to her anymore. "Linda, Linda, Linda." She said in a sing-song voice. "She never liked to play with me."

Shelby opened her mouth to ask Rachel something when her cell phone started ringing. Who could be calling her?

* * *

Officer Hardey watched anxiously as the FBI agent strode over to his desk. "Are you Office Derek Hardey?" Derek nodded with confusion in his eyes. "You were the one to discover the little girl in the closet?" He nodded once again. "You were also the officer who realized that the Berry men had no legitimate documents claiming Rachel as their child?"

"Yes, what is this about?" The frustration evident in his tone.

"Well, we have very good reason to believe that Rachel is a kidnap victim." The FBI agent informed him.

His jaw dropped. Out of all the possibilities, kidnap had never once been an idea he entertained about the girl's origins. "We have run her face through the missing child database. We believe we have found a match." The file was set in front of him.

Derek flipped it open.**Rachel Barbra Corcoran, D.O.B. December 18, 2002, Missing from: Akron, OH, Missing Since: March 29, 2006. Age now: 9. Eye Color: Hazel, Hair Color: Light Brown, Race: Caucasian.**

**Rachel Corcoran was last seen at Hardesty Park in Akron, Ohio. Witnesses at the seen last saw the girl on the slide. No one was able to provide details about what happened to the girl after that. Police assumed the girl to be dead after not recovering anything. **

Derek stared in disbelief. The picture of the little girl at three was almost an exact replica of her at nine. The hair was a bit darker now, but the eyes, he couldn't forget those. They were quite unique.

"We have forensics running DNA and matching her fingerprints as we speak. We should know with a few hours. We are unable to use dentistry records as she was only a toddler and had yet to lose her baby teeth. Our imaging teams have updated the image every two years. That image on your left is what she roughly looks like now. Does it look familiar?"

Derek dumbly nodded. "So her name is really Rachel Barbra Corcoran? Why would they keep her name?"

"More than likely it was easier with the transition. It was already her name, and it would've been hard to get her to respond to something else. Her mother said during the many times we interviewed her that she was a willful and stubborn child." Janet Evans was the agent originally assigned to the case. Only then she was a detective, and was only in the process of trying to join the FBI. "I've met with the mother personally several times. I've also met with the grandparents, aunt and uncle, I've even met her father. He wasn't a suspect though as he knew nothing about the child. But I meet with the parents once a year to discuss what we are doing. It was one of my last cases, and I felt horrible when I told Ms. Corcoran I couldn't find her child."

"Where is the mother now?" The last name Corcoran sounded awfully familiar to him.

"She's a music teacher I believe at Lima Elementary."

That's how he knew her. His children were very chatty about their music teacher. It was their favorite class. "What will happen if the child turns out to be the same one?" He knew there wasn't really any ifs in this situation. It was more of a when.

"We will contact the parents immediately. The girl will be released into their care as she rightfully belongs to them. We will mark it a case closed. Kidnapping will be added on top of the charges the men are already facing."

Derek smirked at the thought. Hiram Berry was already going away for a pretty long time, but this just cemented it further. It was kidnap in the first degree along with the child abuse, he could easily get thirty-five years. Derek hoped Judge Anderson presided over the case. He typically placed the heaviest sentences.

* * *

LeRoy looked down at the sheet on which he confessed to everything. He knew they would somehow find out about the kidnapping, and he couldn't risk having this deal revoked. He would serve twenty years without the chance for parole. The DA promised that as long as he disclosed every dirty detail. His lawyer told him that was as good as it would get.

He didn't care about Hiram at all. It was his idea to actually take a child because LeRoy desperately wanted one. He never imagined it would turn into this whole nasty affair. Hiram set off a chain of events, and it was finally coming to an end.

He signed the agreement with a dramatic flourish. He was done with Rachel the moment he signed on the dotted line. He couldn't begrudge the girl her future and happiness after everything they did to her. They took her without a thought. They subjected her to a make-over and multiple beatings until she complied with their wishes. They destroyed a little girl's childhood for their own selfish desires. He knew he should've accepted that a child wasn't in the cards for them. They never should've resorted to kidnapping.

LeRoy knew all too well that he sold out his ex-husband. Hiram would've never admitted to the kidnapping. He had to make it right. On second thought, Rachel wasn't an awful child. She just knew there was something not right. He was honestly surprised she had never figured it out considering how smart she is.

"Is that all?" The DA asked as she read through the document.

He nodded. "Yes, that is all I know."

* * *

Shelby excused herself from Rachel's room as the girl continued to rant quietly to herself. "Hello?" She answered-not bothering to look at caller id.

"Shelby, this is Agent Janet. I have some good news for you."

"You found Rachel." She said breathlessly. The air was literally knocked out of her lungs.

"Yes, Shelby we now have the whereabouts of your daughter. How fast can you get to Lima Memorial?"

"I'm already here." She blinked back her tears. "I was visiting with Rachel. I just realized she was my Rachel."

"I'm almost to the hospital now. We will talk about everything. You may want to call the girl's father."

"Right." Shelby muttered. She honestly forgot about Lucas in that moment. The joy of finally knowing what happened to her daughter was overriding everything. Everything else was taking a backseat. There were so many conflicting emotions coursing through her- she didn't know what to feel or think. All she knew was that Rachel was in the room. "I'll do that." She told the agent absentmindedly.

* * *

**AN- We are almost done with the first part of the story. There are a total of five, but each vary in length. So thoughts?**


	6. The Sadness We Hide

**AN- Thank you guys for the amazing reviews last chapter. I appreciate every single one. I don't know a lot about how it goes when CPS starts an investigation and whatnot, and the Internet is kind of a hard place to find specifics. Anyways I figure since it is fiction, I'll just leave it as is. While yes inevitably Shelby will be in a relationship, the mother/daughter relationship will remain at the heart of the story. Sorry if there are any mistakes.**

* * *

Shelby stood frozen seconds after she ended the phone call with Agent Janet. It was like her mind refused to accept what she knew in her heart to be true. There were too many similarities for it to pass as mere coincidence. She just didn't know if she could accept that this was truly happening after all this time. There were many nights spent crying tears of sorrow for the little girl in the bed in the other room, How many nights had her daughter spent crying and begging for someone to come save her?

Her daughter-the little baby she gave birth to, who she loved and took care of, she was safe. Rachel didn't know anything about who she was or where she came from. She didn't know what happiness looked like. She only knew abuse and heartache.

"Shelby?" A familiar voice brought her out of her thoughts.

The woman in questioned turned to see her friend starting at her expectantly. Right, this was where she was supposed to say words. "…" She couldn't remember how to use her voice. Tears spilled down her cheeks because her words were all used up. Her thoughts were consumed with what she was going to tell her baby girl. She couldn't afford to waste anymore words.

Judy rushed towards Shelby and gathered the younger woman in her arms. "Shh…" she said soothingly as she rocked her from side to side. It was familiar and Shelby relaxed into Judy's arms as she sobbed.

"Sh-she, i-i-it's h-h-her.." she wailed. "I-I n-n-never th-thought I w-would s-s-s-see her a-gain."

Judy pulled back at once. "Rachel?"

Shelby nodded. "She's been abused by monsters. How is that not my fault? I hired the babysitter." It was the one thought that passed through her brain every time she thought about her daughter's kidnapping. If she hadn't hired Linda, none of this would've happened. The what ifs haunted her. They reminded of her failures and shortcomings as a parent.

The moment that absolutely destroyed her was when she told Rachel's father the truth. It was admitting all of her mistakes and begging-pleading for forgiveness, for redemption.

"_Shelby?" Lucas asked incredulously. It was a shock to his very system to see her there on his doorstep. He had to rub his eyes a few times to make sure that she was actually there in front of him._

_The brunette nodded sadly. Lucas noticed her melancholic behavior; she wasn't her normal cheerful self. "What's wrong?" He gently inquired. He knew when to push and not to push. If he pushed her now, she might just crack. He needed answers, and her dissolving into a crying, sniffling mess wouldn't help anything._

_This was the first time had had seen her in over four years. Not since she called off their engagement and gave him back the ring. She walked out of their shared apartment without glancing back. He couldn't imagine what she needed him for now. As he scrutinized her appearance, he realized she was more breathtaking than she had been four years before. Her hair was longer, but it wasn't glossy. It was rather dull. He noticed the deep bags under her eyes. She looked more tired than he had ever seen her. It was like she was defeated. She wasn't the same strong, confident woman he knew. This was a broken woman. It was her eyes that truly haunted him- they were lifeless. There wasn't a spark of happiness. It was like she felt absolutely nothing. _

"_I have to tell you something." Her eyes were cast downward and she chewed on her lip in an almost pathological way. He knew that she had done something and was feeling guilty. They were her tells after all. He had loved this girl. He knew everything about the girl in front of him from the way she loved and laughed to the way she lied. There were things about her that time could never change. _

"_What is it?" He knew it was too much to hope for a reconciliation. He loved her with every fiber of his being, but he didn't believe she felt the same for him anymore. She had moved on. She would forever be the one that got away. It was his deepest regret that he didn't chase after her that night she left him for good. _

_Tears filled her eyes. Those misty green eyes told him everything. He knew that she betrayed him. "May I come in? It is a long story, but you have the right to know." Her voice was hoarse._

_He gestured for her to enter. Lucas watched as she glanced around her surroundings. He lived in a decent sized apartment in Virginia Beach. He had completed all of his training and aid school, and he was stationed at Naval Station Norfolk. He would be going off to Iraq in a few more months. _

_She took a seat, careful of her placement, in the only chair in his living room. She definitely didn't want any close proximity between them. He took a seat across from her on the couch. He splayed his arms on his legs as he waited for what it was she came all this way to say. _

"_Let me preface this by saying I didn't mean to hurt you." Her lip trembled as she stopped another wave of tears. _

"_Did you get married or something?" He joked. He knew his sister would've said something if she had. Judy may not have kept him up to date on all the going ons in Shelby's life, but she would definitely tell him if she were married._

_Shelby shook her and let out a watery chuckle. It wasn't her usual laugh, and it sounded almost forced. "Or something," she chuckled darkly. "I had a baby."_

_His eyebrows shot up in surprise. It was the last thing he was expecting her to say. He couldn't help but feel the crushing blow. He never gave hope of one day rekindling their love, but she had a child. There was someone in the picture. "Oh," was all he could say. It didn't necessarily bother him she had a child. It was the fact that it was with someone else. She came here to end it between them for once and all. He wasn't sure anything could be more painful than that._

"_It's not what you're thinking." She desperately implored-her eyes begging him to listen to the whole story before commenting. "She's three." She admitted with a sad smile._

"_Wait…" he did the math in his brain. She wouldn't do that to him. Would she? Four years ago he would've said no, but he didn't know this new Shelby. She was a different woman/girl than the one he grew up and fell in love with. "I have a daughter." He said, waiting for her confirmation._

"_Yes." She answered. "Her name is Rachel."_

"_I want to meet her." Lucas demanded- his temper flaring up. He was pissed. His daughter was three almost four. She had no idea he existed. He missed so much. He wouldn't be able to get back any of that time. He wasn't there when Shelby first heard the heartbeat, or when Rachel began to kick. He was absent the day she was born. He didn't know her first word or what types of foods she liked. He never got to hold her hands as she learned to walk. Shelby took all of that from him. _

_The dam seemed to break and Shelby burst into tears. "You can't." She cried loudly. She didn't want to do this. She didn't want to break his heart, but Judy was right. He deserved to know that he had a daughter. He deserved to know the truth after all this time. It was going to hurt when she told him that someone had taken her, but he couldn't be shipped overseas without knowing. _

"_What the hell?" He snapped angrily. "You can't come here and drop a bomb on me like this, and then tell me I can't meet my own daughter. I won't be kept away." He was going to be involved in that little girl's life. He didn't want to miss anymore. _

_Shelby stood up. "She's gone. Someone took her when she was at the park with her babysitter. She's been missing since March." It was August. She waited five whole months to tell him. Lucas never thought he would see the day where he actually felt hatred for Shelby Corcoran. But he supposed that's why they said never say never. There was a first time for everything._

From that point on, Lucas was as involved as she was in searching for their daughter. He had pictures of her all over his apartment. He may not have been there to share the moments, but he wanted the tangible proof that she existed. Her birth certificate had been changed to add his name.

"I have to tell Lucas." Her voice hitched as she became borderline hysterical. "I-I need to c-call him."

Judy cupped her face and forced Shelby to look into her eyes. "Sweetie, you need to take a deep breath. Ready, breath in," Shelby sucked in a huge breath. "Now out." She exhaled slowly as her shoulders fell. "If you call him all panicked, it will serve no purpose than to make him panic as well. Take a few more deep breaths, and then call him."

The moment she saw Shelby freaking out in the hallway, she sent Fran to get coffee. She wanted to distract her daughter to give her time to sort out her friend. Judy couldn't imagine that the news Shelby was freaking out over was that her Rachel was really Shelby's Rachel. She couldn't believe she had missed it all these years. Then again, when the little girl first met her, she had short pale blonde hair. Her skin was pale, much paler than the picture in the newspaper and on the news.

She honestly looked nothing like how Rachel Corcoran was. It did explain the odd behavior of the Berry men though. They were hiding a lot behind their pristine lawn and perfect smiles. There was evil lurking behind their eyes. Her niece, her brother's child was forced into this life that was not her own. She grew up thinking she was one person when she was someone else entirely.

It was at that moment she remembered their conversation from the day before- not the part about hope, the part about her mother. She wasn't sure how great three year old's memories were, but something about Shelby continued to linger in Rachel's memory, only it came in the form of her dreams. She heard the voice, but never saw the face.

"Are you calm now?" Judy knew she would say she was fine even if she wasn't.

"I'm fine." Shelby growled- annoyed by Judy's concern. In her opinion, it was overkill. She was perfectly okay. "I was just being a bit overemotional. I'm in check of my feelings now." She didn't want to be mothered even if it was coming from a good place.

Judy was expecting the answer and rolled her eyes. "God it's like talking to the teenage version of yourself. You are still so freaking stubborn. No wonder Rachel is as pig headed as she is. She is an extremely willful child, and God help anyone who gets in her way."

There was a hint of a smile on Shelby's lips. "That sounds like her as a toddler as well. It was either her way or the highway. There is no in-between when it comes to her."

"Do you want me to give you a minute so you can call Lucas?" Judy wasn't sure if Shelby wanted her around for that or not.

The younger woman tilted her head as she considered her options. "Stay," she pleaded with a touch of vulnerability in her tone. Judy smiled and nodded.

* * *

Frannie had never done a good job at doing what her mother told her to. She was fifteen years old, and absolutely hated when her mother refused to view her as anything besides a child. She really wasn't a kid anymore.

Yesterday not only had she heard about Rachel Berry, but she heard about her uncle's daughter. She was completely shocked that her parents had kept that secret from her and her sister. What her mother didn't know was that she remembered the only time she ever met her cousin. She was five and a half years old. It was important to add the half.

_Her blue eyes shifted up to her mother as the woman mouthed numbers. Frannie wasn't sure why they were at a hospital so far from where they lived. It was a really long drive for the five and a half year old. Quinn was still at her babysitter's house. _

_It was only a half day at school and she was supposed to take the bus home. Then her mommy showed up, and said that they were meeting someone special. "Aha," Judy exclaimed. She knocked on the door. _

"_Who is it?" A woman's voice called from the other side. _

_Frannie knew that voice. It was her Aunt Shelby. She hadn't seen her in a longtime- not since her Uncle Lucas left. Before her mother could stop her, she twisted the doorknob and rushed into the room. "Aunt Shelby!" She bellowed loudly._

_Whatever was in her aunt's arms squirmed and wiggled and let out a squawking noise. Frannie's eyes widened as she realized it was a baby. She shuffled closer to the bed in a trance like state. Sure she had Quinn at home, but she was stuck with her. "Who's that?" She asked in a hushed voice. _

_Shelby grinned at the little blonde girl. "Frannie, this is Rachel." Judy lifted Frannie up to get a better look at the baby. She was amazed. Quinn was rather ugly and hairy when she was born. Her mom said she would get cuter as she gained some weight and the hair shed. Frannie agreed her sister was cute now, but for months she told her friends that her sister was 'dopted. _

"_She's pretty. She's tiny like my dollies." Rachel was much smaller than she remembered Quinn being when she was born. Her hands were so tiny. Frannie gently poked Rachel's nose. The baby scrunched up her face and looked like she was about to sneeze. "So she's new?" Frannie asked._

_Shelby chuckled. "Yes, I suppose so."_

"_How come Uncle Lucas isn't here?"_

_Judy's smile fell. "Why would you ask that sweetheart?" Her and Shelby shared worried looks. They didn't want Frannie saying anything to anyone. _

"_She looks like him." The girl responded in a 'duh' tone. "She has his eyes."_

_Both Shelby and Judy glanced down at the little baby, and sure enough she had Lucas' hazel eyes. "Her eyes are open." It was the first time the baby had opened them since she was born two hours before._

_Judy shed a few tears. Frannie was right. There was a slight resemblance between Lucas and Rachel. She had his funny shaped ears. "She's got his ears." She choked back a sob. "And his wispy hair."_

_Shelby stroked the light hair. It wasn't quite brown but it wasn't blonde either. "She's a perfect mix."_

"_SO is anyone going to answer my question?" Frannie tapped her foot impatiently. _

_Judy mock glared at Shelby for introducing that habit to her daughter. "Uncle Lucas is her daddy, but you can't tell anyone."_

_She furrowed her brown and frowned at her mother and aunt. "Why?"_

"_Uncle Lucas and I made some grown up decisions. He doesn't know anything about her."_

"_Will I see her again?" Frannie's blue eyes watered at the thought of never seeing the only hours old baby again._

_Shelby leaned forward and kissed the girl's head. "Of course you will sweetheart."_

"_You still sad Aunt Shelby?" She remembered when her parents told her there wasn't going to be a wedding. She was really sad because she wouldn't get to be flower girl anymore. Her mommy and daddy told her that her aunt and uncle weren't together. Frannie yelled at them for lying and then locked herself in her bedroom. _

_Shelby smiled wistfully. "Yeah, baby I am. But it's a little better now that I have Rachel."_

"_Cause she looks like Uncle Lucas?"_

"_Yeah." Her smiled turned sad and her eyes dimmed a bit. _

_Frannie hated seeing her sad. She was smart and knew it was all her uncle's fault. She also just happened to be listening on the stairs when her mom was yelling at her uncle. She said it was his fault that Shelby went away and wouldn't talk to him. It took several Christmas gifts for her to even look at her uncle. _

_She remembered when she saw him on Christmas not to say anything about her new baby cousin. She didn't tell him about the picture she colored for her or the pretty dress she picked out at the store. She smiled and pretended like her mommy. She didn't want him to make her Aunt Shelby sad again._

Fran was obviously a lot older now. Her memories were a bit hazy from that time, but that day stuck with her. She never forgot about the small, bird like baby named Rachel. She remembered telling her mom that Rachel was her baby bird after her mom asked why her picture was of a bird.

She still enjoyed being in the know, which was she hid around the corner instead of going off in search of coffee. She overheard everything once her aunt stopped crying. Her Aunt Shelby still looked the same even if she hadn't seen her in years. It was hard to make out what she was saying through her sobs, but it was clear as day when her mother said the name.

"Rachel?"

"She's been abused by monsters. How is that not my fault? I hired the babysitter."

"I have to tell Lucas." Her voice sounded detached. "I-I need to c-call him."

She watched as her mom calmed the sobbing woman. It couldn't be true. Frannie was sure she would've known.

As she thought about it though Rachel still had the same hazel eyes as the baby she first met. She felt special knowing that she was the first person to ever see the baby's eyes. Rachel's ears were still funnily shaped like her uncle's. She did have her Aunt Shelby's nose though. Her hair wasn't as dark either. Her birthday was December 18th, the day Frannie first met her almost ten years before.

She had a younger cousin. She failed to protect her. She had whispered in the baby's ear before leaving.

"_I pwomise I'll always be there for you." She gently pressed her lips on the baby soft hair of her little cousin. "I love you." She waved goodbye as her mother and aunt finished theirs. _

All she could think about was how her Uncle Lucas was going to flip. She lied to him. A lie by omission was still a lie.

* * *

Rachel stared wordlessly at the wall in her hospital room. This couldn't be happening. Ms. Corcoran couldn't be the woman from her dreams. The voice was unmistakable. She had never heard the woman sing to her until today, but that voice hadn't changed since the dreams started all those years ago.

What did all of this mean? Did that mean the men she thought were her fathers for the last six and a half years took her from a park? That would mean Linda was a real person.

"_Linda," the five year old thought happily. She received a new doll from her friend Quinn for Christmas. The doll was blonde with large blue eyes. She looked like a Linda._

"_Why did you name her that?" Quinn was curious as to where her best friend her the name. It was pretty, but she had never met anyone named Linda before. _

_Rachel shrugged. The five year old remembered a woman named Linda with blonde hair. Linda wasn't the nicest, but she was really beautiful. "She looks like a Linda." She didn't feel like talking about it with Quinn. She knew her friend wouldn't understand. _

"_My mommy is bringing cookies to the comption on Saturday." _

_Rachel turned her head away from Quinn. She never liked when other kids talked about their mommies. She wasn't allowed to say anything about hers. She didn't care what her daddies said. Her mommy was real. She sang nice and had soft hair. Her eyes were green. She was real. Rachel promised herself that she was going to find her mommy one day. She didn't care what it took. _

_Her mommy was out there. She hoped she was looking for her. Tears stabbed at her eyes and she angrily brushed them away with the back of her hands. It just wasn't fair. "Rach?" A small hand touched her shoulder. _

_The little girl flinched as flashbacks of what occurred last night ran through her mind. Her dad wasn't happy at all. The punishment she received wasn't as bad as normal, but that was only because of her competition on Saturday. "I'm fine Quinn." She was a bit short with the other girl. _

_Quinn stared at her friend feeling hurt. She was sure she hadn't done anything to make her friend mad at her. Rachel could be really weird sometimes especially about her feelings. She didn't talk about herself a lot, and she was always overly nice. She remembered to always say please and thank you without anyone reminding her. Quinn forgot a lot. _

"_I gotta go." Rachel pushed herself off the swing and walked away without looking back. "Bye." She grumbled. Rachel cried the whole way home. Why did God give her Hiram and LeRoy? _

_She took the longer way home. The park was across the street from Quinn's house and Frannie would go with them and watch over them until it was time to go in. She was supposed to go back to the Fabray's, but she couldn't do it. It hurt a lot in her heart to see Quinn and Mrs. Fabray. All of her friends had mommies, and it was hard when their mommies loved them. _

_Rachel wasn't supposed to take the longer way as it passed through some of the main parts of town like cafes and coffee places, but she didn't want to go home immediately. If she took a little longer, her dad would be gone and it would only be her daddy. He rarely if ever disciplined her. _

_She liked to people watch. It fascinated the little girl. All of the people were interesting and unique. She watched as a brown haired lady waited outside the coffee place. She kept glancing at her phone and Rachel wondered why. Her dad checked his watch a lot when he was waiting. Minutes later a blond haired man parked his car and walked up to the woman. They both had angry faces. The lady didn't look very pleased with the man, nor did the man look particularly happy to see the lady. _

_Sometimes she picked people and pretended they were her real parents. It was nice to pretend even if only for a little while. Her imagination was a lot better than her real life. _

The door to her room opened and a blonde teenager entered. Rachel looked at this new girl with a strange glint in her eye. She silently observed her. Her head tilted, but still no words came. She wasn't sure how to work her vocal chords.

"Hi Rach," Frannie greeted the quiet girl.

Rachel continued to blink mutely. What could she say? She had no idea what was going on. It only confused her more. Was this her life? Or was this another dream?

* * *

Lucas grinned as he watched his niece flutter around the park. Quinn was playing tag with her friends Santana, Kurt, and some other neighborhood children. His sister was at the hospital with Frannie, and his brother-in-law had to work late. Quinn's play date had been arranged before everything went down, and he wanted her to have some semblance of normalcy. When Rachel got out of the hospital, she wasn't going to be the same girl who went in. She was forever changed by what transpired in that house.

His expression morphed into astonishment as Shelby's contact popped up on his phone. "Hello?" He answered gruffly. He was still a bit prickly when it came to her.

"Lucas," she cried and his mind immediately flashed to the worst scenario. "I-I-"

"Shelby?" He was worried.

"Lucas, it's Judy." He crinkled his brow. His sister was supposed to be at the hospital. Why was she with Shelby? "They found Rachel. You need to come to the hospital right way."

Lucas felt his heart hammering in his chest, but he was unable to find the words to respond to his sister. Could it be true? Could he finally have the opportunity to meet his little girl? It may be almost ten years later, but would he finally have the chance to be a father? "Hello Luke? Did you get that?"

He snapped out of his daze. "Yeah Jude, I got it. Quinn will be coming with." He heard his sister swear and chuckled. It never failed to make him laugh when his sister dropped expletives. "Better not ever let mom hear you say that." Their mother was infamous for her soap washings.

"Bite me."

He bit his tongue to stop himself from making a sarcastic comment. "Whatever." He muttered. "I'll be there in like fifteen." He ended the call. He cupped his hands around his mouth and called out his niece's name. "QUINN!" The young girl's head snapped up and she grinned lazily at her uncle. "Time to go." He yelled to her.

Her face dropped, but she knew an order when she heard one. She hugged her friends goodbye and ran over to her uncle. "Why are we leaving early?" She asked as she caught her breath.

"Something important has happened and we have to go to the hospital." Quinn was smart enough to let the subject drop. Her mom constantly reminded her not to be too nosy. If a person didn't want to tell her something, they weren't required to.

* * *

The exes met together along with Janet and Sharon in one of the hospital's empty conference rooms. Shelby and Lucas sat with a chair separating them as neither was willing to actually talk with the other. They were only there out of their shared parental concern and relief.

A picture was slid across the conference table by Janet. "That was rough sketch done about six months ago and here is a picture taken of her about three weeks ago." The images were placed side by side, and it was almost as if someone had sketched their daughter instead of roughly predicting what she would look like. "We've tested her DNA and it was a match, but the finger prints lifted from her bedroom were as well."

Shelby sat back in her seat with tears streaming down her face. She truly believed this day would never come. Her baby girl was in this hospital. She had talked with her- sung to her even.

Lucas could hardly breathe as he stared at the image of his little girl. She was small for a nine year old. He recalled Shelby informing him that Rachel had been on the petite side from the day she was born. She was a month premature-luckily without complications. She was perfectly healthy.

The same couldn't be said for her now as looked at the photos of her bruised face. He swallowed and licked his dry lips. He didn't know how someone could do something so horrible to a child. She was a little girl, and yet they did that to her. He tuned out most of what the agent was saying as his eyes raked over the photograph.

"One of the men has confessed to kidnapping her. He detailed most of the injuries she's had in the last three years. He hired a private physician, or I suppose I should say bought him off." Rachel's medical records were faxed to the hospital. Janet slid them forward for the parents to look at.

Shelby covered her mouth as her eyes widened in horror. "She's had two broken legs, three fracture arms, a cracked bone plate, a concussion, five sprained wrists, nine broken fingers, and a dislocated shoulder. That's a lot of injuries."

"From what we know, a lot of it was caused by the nanny he hired. She died last year."

Both Shelby and Lucas were of like minds when they muttered "good riddance."

Janet sent them a small smile. "She's a tough kid."

From what they could gather from her medical file there hadn't been any long lasting damage. It was more than likely because she was a child, and children tend to bounce back from injuries much quicker than adults. The only serious injury she had was the concussion. She had to go to the hospital for that one.

Lucas asked the question Shelby had been thinking as well. "So what happens from here?"

* * *

"I met you once when you were a newborn." Rachel watched as Frannie walked closer to the bed. "You were small and pink. I thought you were much cuter than Quinn was." Rachel knew it was supposed to make her laugh, but she had no control over any part of her body. "I promised I would protect you. I guess I failed." Rachel saw the disappointment written all over the other girl's face.

Rachel licked her lips nervously. "Y-you didn't fail." She spoke up. "How were you supposed to know this was going to happen?" Rachel wasn't as over it as she wanted to be, but it definitely wasn't Frannie's fault that any of this happened to her.

Frannie covered Rachel's tiny hand with her own. "I can't believe it is really you." She marveled thoughtfully. "I remember when I went with my mom to see you and Aunt Shelby. I was five and it was a half day. You squawked like a bird." Rachel huffed indignantly at the comparison. "I called you my baby bird. You had these tiny fingers and toes. I tickled them and your face scrunched up. I knew you wanted to laugh."

Rachel swallowed thickly as her emotions were getting the best of her. "Why were you there?"

Fran bit her lip. It wasn't as if Rachel wouldn't find out the truth eventually. "My mom has known your mom since she was three. Your dad is my uncle. I actually was the first person to get a look at your eyes. I realized that they were my Uncle Lucas'." Frannie tucked back a strand of Rachel's hair and fingered the girl's ear. "You still have his funny shaped ears." She laughed.

Rachel giggled softly. The sound startled her as she forgot what it felt like to laugh. "I don't have funny ears." She pouted as she placed her hands over her ears. "You're not being nice."

"I never said I would be." She poked Rachel's nose. "Gosh, you're still really tiny." Rachel crossed her arms- pout ever present. "Oh you know it's true."

"That doesn't mean it is nice to point out. Quinn is several inches taller than me. I'm the smallest person in my grade." She absolutely hated being smaller than everyone else. She was determined to grow despite already knowing that it wasn't up to her but her body and genetics.

Fran ruffled her hair. "I think it makes you look cuter. So what if you are roughly the size of a seven year old." The brunette stuck her tongue out.

"That's enough of that." Both girls' eyes snapped to the figure in the door. "Fran I thought I told you to go get coffee in the cafeteria." The teen smiled sheepishly at her mother and shrugged a shoulder. "What am I going to do with you?" Judy shook her head fondly.

Rachel eyed the woman. "Where's Ms. Cor- my mo- Shelby?" The little girl no longer knew what to call her teacher. She wasn't strictly her teacher anymore, but at the same time, she was technically a stranger. Rachel didn't have very many memories from before her fathers or kidnappers she supposed. The only memories were the ones that cropped up in her dreams. Rachel saw the sadness in Judy's eyes.

"She's in an important meeting about you."

"Oh." Her face fell. She wanted to talk to her. She needed to know to understand what was going on.

The door opened once more. It was nurse and Quinn followed in behind her. "Here you go honey." She smiled at everyone before departing the room.

Rachel averted her eyes. She had no words as she was unprepared for Quinn's presence in her hospital room.

Quinn gasped and tears filled her eyes. Rachel's bruising were fading on her face, but they were still sickly to look at. She rushed to her best friend's bedside. "Rach," she murmured softly as she took her hand from her sister. "Are you okay?"

The brunette nodded still refusing to look at her. "I'm fine." She muttered.

"Don't lie to me. I am sick of all my family lying to me. My parents and sister are lying. Now my uncle is. And now you are. Just stop it." She screamed at the girl.

Rachel clenched her jaw. "Do you think this is easy for me? You think I like having people gawk at me like I'm a freak. Every day since I've been here people stare and whisper about me like I can't see or hear them. I just found out that I have a mom and a dad, and that my whole life was a lie. So if you think people are lying to you, well at least it is only a recent development. I've been lied to for most of my life. So boohoo Quinn." Her temper got the best of her. She had been silently stewing for days, and it had come to blows. She hadn't meant to blow up at her best friend, but Quinn happened to be the easiest target.

Judy and Fran gaped at Rachel's explosion. Quinn stood there- not saying a word.

Rachel realized that it took a lot out of her to say all of that. Her breathing was a little off. She gestured to the table with her inhaler. Fran handed it to her. They watched as she took her medicine.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled apologetically. It was the best Quinn would get from her. She wasn't exactly in the forgiving mood, but she could admit that she had gone a bit overboard during her rant. She was angry and she didn't know how to fix that.

"Yeah." Quinn shifted apprehensively. The tension could definitely be felt by Fran and Judy, but no one wanted to mess with the status quo. Quinn had no idea how to help her friend because she was right. The people who lied to her lied to her for far longer than Quinn's family lied to her.

Rachel was right to be angry and deep down Quinn knew her best friend didn't mean it. She was blowing off steam. Rachel's words hurt of course, but Quinn had certainly heard a lot worse from the girl when they were younger. Rachel could be vicious with her words and more often than not refused to apologize. It was usually because her biting words were true. Her apologies consisted of a mumbled 'sorry.'

Quinn wasn't much better though. She let her temper get the best of her on multiple occasions and had said some awful stuff to Rachel. It was a mutual understanding between them to let go whatever the other said when they were mad. It was usually just forgotten.

"So Santana has a crush." Rachel perked up immediately at the segue. "Tell me all about it." Rachel scooted over and patted her bed for Quinn to join her.

Judy and Fran turned their eyes to each with the same unspoken question in their eyes 'what just happened?'

There was a soft rap on the door and Shelby pushed the door open. Her eyes widened at the sight of all the blondes in the room. Judy grinned sheepishly at her longtime friend. Quinn and Rachel chattered away not noticing the arrival of two new people in the room.

"Her name is Brittany. What class is she in?" The topic excited the young girl.

Quinn frowned as she tried to remember. "I think Ms. Patterson's. She is blonde like me but her eyes are blue. She's also tall. Her family moved her from like Columbus or something like that." She wasn't particularly concerned with all the details.

"This is so surprising." Rachel exclaimed with a clap of her hands. "Santana has never liked anyone. Remember when she teased me for having a crush on Finn in first grade?"

"Ha," Quinn snorted loudly. "I just don't understand why you liked him." Rachel's cheeks tinted a light shade of pink. "Oh gosh don't tell me you still have a crush on him? You only saw him last week."

Rachel crossed her arms mutinously. "But he's nice to me. And I like his smile."

The blonde rolled her eyes. "You sound like Frannie. She's always talking about some boy or another. I mean she's constantly texting a different a boy on her phone when I go into her room." She pulled a face.

"Gross." She scrunched up her nose as if she caught a whiff of a bad smell. "Does she kiss them?"

Quinn nodded. "Yeah and she likes it." Frannie covered her blushing face with her hands. Everyone's eyes were directed at her. "I don't know why you would have a crush on Finn. Don't you remember when he pushed you off the swing and didn't even say sorry until the teacher told his mom?"

Rachel tapped her chin and her eyes lit up in recognition. "That's right. I cried for like ever because my knees were all scraped up and bleeding. Santana punched him in the face." She giggled childishly. She honestly never saw Santana more angry than in that moment.

Lucas' breath hitched at the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. He watched all of the home videos every year on Rachel's birthday. Her laughter sounded much better in person. He honestly was having a difficult time believing she was in the same room as him let alone the same city.

Her laughter stopped when she noticed the newcomers. Her mouth formed a wide 'o' as she stared at her mother and the man she assumed to be her father.

"Come on girls, we have to get home. Let's say our goodbyes to Rachel." Both girls started to protest immediately until Judy silenced them a stern look. She kissed Rachel's head softly. "Be a good girl."

Quinn and Fran hugged her as well. "I'll see if my mom will let me visit tomorrow." Rachel smiled thankfully. "See ya later Rach." She followed her mother and sister out of the room with one last wave. "Bye Uncle Lucas and Aunt Shelby."

Rachel stared at them as her words failed her. Earlier she was ecstatic to talk to the woman, but now she wasn't sure what to do. She was going to take her cues from Shelby.

"Hi Rachel," a smile lit up Shelby's face. She loved saying the name. She chose it not only for its Hebrew origins, but because of its meaning. In Hebrew it was an ewe, but in other cultures it meant lamb. Rachel was her little lamb. She was pure and innocent.

Rachel cast her eyes down and muttered a quiet "hi."

"I guess we have a lot to talk about, huh?" The woman asked her and she nodded. "I guess I should start off with the fact that your name is Rachel Barbra Corcoran."

Rachel lifted her eyes anxiously, but there was subdued excitement in the dark hazel orbs. "Like as in Barbra Streisand?"

Shelby chuckled. "Yes exactly like Barbra. She's one of my favorites too. Funny Girl is probably my favorite musical."

"Mine too." She felt weird knowing her last name was really Corcoran. It definitely felt right and familiar.

"You were born in Akron at ten in the morning. I spent almost an entire day in labor with you. Your grandparents Elizabeth and John or as you called them-"

"Poppy and Nana." She remembered- cutting her mother off.

Shelby nodded. "Yeah, they were there, but then they had to go. Your Aunt Judy then stopped by with Frannie. Frannie wouldn't stop staring at you."

"Where was he?" She pointed at Lucas who shifted nervously now that attention had been redirected to him.

The mother sighed- not wanting to get into this, but knowing it was the best time. "He didn't know. I chose not to tell him. He joined the Navy, and he was gone by the time I knew you existed." Lucas shuffled to the other side the bed and occupied the other chair.

"If I had known about you, I would've been there." Rachel saw the sincerity in his eyes and heard the truthfulness in his voice. "When I found out about you and the fact that you were kidnapped, I immediately went on leave to help your mother with finding you."

Rachel rubbed her eyes tiredly as the day weighed on her. She was still on heavy medication for the pain and infection, and then there was her asthma flare up earlier. Yesterday, she spent twenty whole minutes on the nebulizer. She hated being so dependent on it.

"Sweetheart are you tired?" It delighted the mother to see that some of her baby girl's habits had stuck.

Her eyelids fluttered softly. "Mhm…" Shelby tucked the blankets around her daughter as she maneuvered the small body into a more comfortable position. "S-sing." Rachel's voice slurred sleepily. Even in her half asleep state she still couldn't bring herself to call Shelby mom.

"Anything for you." Lucas watched with rapt attention as mother and daughter bonded. Neither seemed to be aware of the deep connection they shared.

_In our times of trouble_

_We only had ourselves_

_Nobody else_

_No one there to save us_

_We had to save ourselves_

_And when the storms came through_

_They found me and you, ooh back together_

_And when the sun would shine_

_It was yours and mine, yours and mine forever_

_And oh how the years go by_

_Oh how the love brings tears to my eyes_

_All through the changes the soul never dies_

_We fight, we laugh, we cry_

_As the years go by_

_There were times we stumbled_

_They thought they had us down_

_We came around and how we rolled and rambled_

_We got lost but we got found_

_Now we're back on solid ground_

_We took everything all our times would bring_

_In this world of danger_

_'Cause when your heart is strong_

_You know you're not alone in this world of strangers_

_And oh how the years go by_

_Oh how the love brings tears to my eyes_

_All through the changes the soul never dies_

_We fight, we laugh, we cry_

_As the years go by_

_And if we lose our way_

_Through any night or day_

_Well, we'll always be_

_Where we should be_

_I'm there for you_

_And I know you're there for me_

_As the years go by_

_You know you're not alone in this world of strangers_

_And oh how the years go by_

_Oh how the love brings tears to my eyes_

_All through the changes the soul never dies_

_We fight, we laugh, we cry_

_As the years go by_

_As the years go by_

_Oh, how the love brings tears to my eyes_

_And all through the changes the soul never dies_

_We fight, we laugh and we cry_

_As the years go by_

_Oh how the years go by_

_Shh bee do, oh how the years go by_

_Now oh how the years go by_

_oh oh how the years go by_

_As the years go by_

_As the years go by_

Rachel was asleep before Shelby had finished the song. Lucas stared mesmerized at the little girl. He could see bits of himself in her, but she did look a lot like her mother. He smiled at the sight of her ears. She had his eyes too. His eyes grew moist and Shelby nodded in understanding. He knew that out of anyone she would understand how much this moment truly meant to him.

She gestured with her head to the door. He figured they should probably talk now that Rachel was asleep. "Are you okay?" Lucas was touched by her concern-considering how indifferent he had been towards her.

"Yeah I will be." He wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket. "It was overwhelming. You know?" The corners of his lips turned up in a half smile. "After hearing about her and searching for after all these years, she's actually here. She's a real person now. Before I only had the videos and pictures and what you told me about her. But I can get to know her. I can actually talk to her. Maybe we can also discuss this whole boy situation as well."

Shelby chuckled through her own tears. "Don't worry daddy, Rachel is still young yet. She's not even ten." She teased him softly. "You've got about three years. And if you think my dad liked you dating me, you've got another thing coming to you."

Their laughter faded and awkwardness set in. There was much that was unresolved between them, but neither was willing to fix it. Why rock the boat?

They were parents. That was all they would be to each other. Shelby was their daughter's mother. Lucas was their daughter's father. They didn't need to complicate an already complicated situation any further.

"So yeah…" Lucas scratched the back of his neck. "I'm going to go get something from the cafeteria. Do you want anything?" He didn't know how to talk to her anymore. She was like a broken promise to him. Whenever he looked at her, he still saw betrayal. But he also saw the love his life, but he refused to think that let alone voice it. He needed to view her as Rachel's mother, his co-parent, nothing more.

Shelby wanted to really talk to him. She wanted to have the easy going relationship of their younger years. She used to be able to confide anything to him and he would listen. Now it was like there was a wall separating them. They were close yet so far. "A coffee."

"Black with a teaspoon of sugar?"

Her heart skipped a beat. He remembered. "Yeah." She shyly tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Thanks, I'm just uh… going to… go back in the room. Yeah." She could've smacked herself with how awkward she was being. She didn't wait for a reply before returning to Rachel's room.

The little girl was asleep. Shelby raked her eyes over her daughter's features. Rachel was not a toddler anymore. She wasn't sure why she still had that image in her head. She supposed because she had never truly thought of her daughter as a person growing up. She was though. Rachel was almost ten. She certainly wasn't a pouty three year old prone to fits and constantly stuck in the corner. She was going to have to get to know this person her daughter had become, while helping her through the healing process. She was in this for the long haul though. She wouldn't let anything or anyone harm her daughter again.

* * *

**AN- Other characters will be introduced as the story moves along. We will eventually get to what happens to Hiram. That chapter will be very Lucas/Shelby centered. Thoughts?**


	7. In the Past We Hide

**AN- While this is a Shelby/Rachel story, it is also about family. Rachel is learning what it is to be a part of a family as the story goes on. Thank you all for your kind words. I really appreciate them. If you have any questions, all you have to is ask and I'll reply. Sorry for any mistakes.**

* * *

Lucas sat at in the cafeteria unseeing as the past unfolded in front of him.

"_How could you not tell me?" He rounded on his sister. _

_Judy was stricken. She had no defense for why she chose not to tell her brother, her flesh and blood about his own flesh and blood. "I-I…" her mouth open and closed but no sound came out. _

_He angrily paced the length of her living room. "I thought we were closer than that, but apparently I was wrong. Who else knows? Mom and dad? Her parents? Her brother and sister?"_

"_No one." She found herself telling him. "We- we uh told everyone that it was a random guy she slept with at a party after you guys broke up." She winced as she prepared herself for the onslaught of his anger. _

_He laughed harshly- it was an unpleasant sound, one he didn't know he could make. "I don't know who either of you are anymore."_

"_What did you expect Lucas? You lied to her about your plans. You were engaged to her for God's sake and yet you didn't tell her you joined the Navy. What does that say about your relationship? It wasn't my secret to tell. I didn't inform her of your intentions." She pleaded with her eyes for him to understand where she was coming from. _

"_That's your fucking problem." Judy gasped at the expletive. It took a lot for her normally easy going brother to swear. "You believe in this whole equality bullshit. This is different though. Rachel is my child. How would you feel if you didn't know you had a child running around out there? I helped make her. My blood runs through her veins. She shares half my DNA. And she's out there somewhere." Sobs wracked his body, and he shook off his sister's attempts to comfort him. He wasn't ready for that type of closeness yet. He loved her, but he was unable to forgive her at the moment. _

"_I'm sorry." She found herself apologizing. "I know that's not what you want to hear, but it is all I can offer. She was protecting her heart. She didn't want you to feel obligated."_

"_That's absurd." He muttered after a few minutes of silence. He needed the time to compose himself. "It wasn't like our relationship was a lie. I just didn't know how to tell her. This is worse than your betrayal."_

_It was like a stab in the heart to hear her brother say that. She knew she deserved it, but it hurt none the less. "I deserved that."_

"_You two deserve a whole lot worse, but that's not really for me to decide." Judy found in that particular moment how ironic it was that people constantly remarked about Shelby's temper, but Lucas could be just as bad. They both struggled to reign in their tempers, and most of the time their mouths got them into trouble or really upset people._

"_Just know we didn't want to hurt you. And as hard as this is for you, think about how Shelby must feel. I know you can be a selfish ass, but Shelby had been with Rachel every single day of her life. She hasn't seen her child in five months. You've known about her for a week and feel this strongly, so put yourself in her shoes and stop being a complete jerk." She glared witheringly at him before leaving to tend to the laundry._

_Lucas felt shame rise up in him. From the moment Shelby told him about Rachel, he could only visualize his own betrayal and the pain he felt when he realized he might not ever get the opportunity to meet his daughter. Shelby gave him a letter, but he hadn't bothered to open it. He wasn't ready to forgive her. He really didn't want anything to do with her._

_He opened the letter and tears filled his eyes._

_December 18, 2002_

_To my love,_

_I still love you. More than I could voice aloud at this point in time. I'm hurting. It's funny but I should be Mrs. Lucas Williams right now and I'm not. That hurts more than I can I say. But something happened today that has helped immensely with the pain in my heart. I gave birth to a baby girl, our baby girl. She's the culmination of our love for one another. She's absolutely beautiful. She has your eyes and your funny ears. She has the softest curls. I'm not sure what color her hair will end up. _

_She makes these cute little sounds. She's on the small side but absolutely perfect. My heart is filled with love for the both of you. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have her here with me. She's perfect. My life already feels fuller. _

_Her name is Rachel Barbra Corcoran. I found it funny your interest in naming our future children something traditionally Jewish/Hebrew. I appreciate your consideration of my culture. It makes me happy beyond belief. It makes me feel comfortable with her name choice. I plan to raise her in my own faith. I hope you don't mind since you are a Pentecost. My faith is incredibly important to me, and I want to pass that onto my child. _

_She'll grow up eating kosher and swearing in Yiddish. It still tickles me silly when you have trouble after all these years figuring out what I said. I kind of feel guilty for calling you a no good goyim the last time we met. You probably should know it is offensive depending on how it is used. I definitely intended for it to be offensive. My brother calls you a goy all the time. When you come back you might want to watch out for him. (Although he is really one to talk since he married his shiksa.)_

_As I was saying, she will be alright. One day you'll meet her. I promise. I want you to know her. I wish I was strong enough for this. I hope I can raise her properly. _

_My Love Always,_

_Shelby _

_He wiped away the tears as his heart let go of some of his anger. He knew she hadn't done it out of spite. She was protecting herself from him. Maybe they weren't really ready for marriage if they could hurt one another like they had. Where did the lies stop?_

Lucas remembered that he carried around his anger on his sleeve. It was at the forefront of his mind. His parents tried to talk him round, but they realized they were attempting to win a losing battle. He couldn't move on yet. He was stuck on the betrayal.

It was actually seeing the little girl he helped create that helped with the healing process. She was as perfect as Shelby had said in her letter. Her eyes carried the weight of the world, but he saw the child buried underneath all the hurt and pain. She was only a child. She liked boys, which was definitely a topic for discussion in the future. She was friends with Quinn. She had other friends. She was well-adjusted for someone in her situation.

He saw the fear as well. Rachel had plenty of reasons to be scared. He knew she was afraid of him as it was their first time meeting. He didn't have the familiarity as Shelby did with her. Rachel may be hesitant in her actions towards her mother, but there was still a deep bond between them. It was in the way that Rachel clung to her mother's hand as Shelby sung her to sleep. She didn't let go until her hand fell limp with sleep.

Lucas hoped that his daughter would feel as comfortable with him one day. He didn't begrudge Rachel her relationship with Shelby in the slightest. He was a teensy bit jealous, but he supposed that came with the territory. Shelby had raised Rachel for the first three years of her life. She loved, bathed, clothed, fed, and played with the girl. She disciplined her. Rachel was Shelby's life from what he could gather.

He watched the two of them from the doorway. Shelby smoothed the girl's hair back as Rachel seemed to be having a nightmare.

* * *

"Please I'll be good." Rachel pleaded. Her body was curled up in a ball. "Mommy where are you? Find me, I'm in the dark place." He saw the tears on Shelby's cheeks and his heart clenched at the sight.

_Tiny fists pounded on the door. She was in the dark place again. "Pweez," she screamed. "Let out. I want my mommy. Where are you mommy? Save me. I need you." She heard the taunting laughter as he mocked her . _

_The red eyes stared at her from the opposite end of the closet. "Hello again Rachel. I see you haven't learned yet." He struck her. She never saw him move, but she felt the searing pain in her back. "You have no mother." He murmured darkly. "All you have to do is be a good girl."_

"_Please I'll be good." She was on her knees begging. The whip cracked once again and she felt the sting against her cheek. "Mommy where are you? Find me, I'm in the dark place." She sobbed as he struck her once again. She cried out in agony. The throbbing in her cheek was nowhere near as painful as her scorching back. It felt like she was on fire. _

"_Rachel, please Rachel, come back to me." It was the lady. _

_Rachel looked up with teary eyes. "Mommy? Mommy?" _

"_I'm here baby. Open your eyes. I'm right here."_

Eyelids fluttered open to reveal terrified hazel eyes. Rachel's eyes landed on her mother and she let out body wracking sobs. Shelby gathered the little girl in her arms. Rachel clung to her mother. "Y-y-you- I-I c-c-couldn't f-f-i-i-nd you- hiccup- s-s-s-ooo sc-scared."

"Shh…" Shelby hushed her as she rocked her in her arms. Rachel felt the tightness in her chest before the wheezing started. She couldn't breathe. It was all too real. She never thought she would get out of the dark place. It was like she was always there. Every time she closed her eyes, she feared where she would wake up. "Breathe for me baby." Rachel couldn't. All she could focus on was the room.

Shelby searched the room for anything that could help her when she spotted the inhaler. If she could just get Rachel to let her go for a second, she would be able to get it. Only when she attempted to pry her daughter off, Rachel clung tighter to her. The wheezing worsened when she thought her mother was leaving.

Lucas jumped into action and grabbed the inhaler for her. Shelby smiled in appreciation. She eased the spacer of the inhaler into Rachel's mouth and slowly released the medicine. "Deep breaths baby." After another minute, she gave her another dose. "That's it. Just breathe for me." Rachel slowly calmed down as she found comfort in her mother's embrace. She was coming back to reality.

"Has she always been asthmatic?" Lucas was concerned. He remembered the time when Shelby had to go to the hospital after having a serious attack. They were eleven. They were running around and playing when Shelby had to stop because she couldn't breathe. She had coughed on and off for most of that day. He freaked out when she clutched her chest. He yelled from his backyard for his mom who immediately called for an ambulance. Shelby didn't have her inhaler on her.

"Since she was about two. She told me her tummy hurt and that it hurt to breathe. I was confused at first and I took her to the emergency room. It turned out the pain she experienced was in her chest. She had been up the night before coughing. I thought she had a cold. She coughed on and off for a whole week and she wasn't as energetic as normal. She spent many mornings on her nebulizer." He stared at her confused. "Right you wouldn't know what that is. It's a breathing machine used primarily for infants and children or anyone having difficulty using an inhaler. It turns the medication into a mist so it is easier to administer. We used to have one in her room and a portable one. She was an overactive child and often didn't know her own limits. She usually took her medication two times a day." Rachel melted into her mother's arms and buried her head in her mother's chest. "She uses a MDI now. But she probably has a quick relief inhaler as well that is better for sudden attacks."

"Is it genetic?" He tried not to sound accusatory. He knew that she wouldn't have chosen to pass asthma onto their child.

Shelby sighed as she rubbed Rachel's back. "It can be. Children whose family have a history of it have a higher risk. Asthma is hard to diagnose in children under five. When children are six, they often take this lung function test to determine the amount of air in the lungs and how fast it can be exhaled. It helps with figuring out how severe the asthma is. I don't know if Rachel has had one or not. I will have to find her a specialist." She pressed several kisses to the crown of her daughter's head.

"Can she outgrow asthma?" Lucas cursed himself for his dumb question. He had never heard of a cure for asthma, and it sounded like a lifelong condition.

The mother looked down fondly at her resting child nestled into her. "Technically a person doesn't really outgrow asthma. There's just a decrease in symptoms. Once your airways are sensitive, they remain that way for the rest of your life. Symptoms come and go, and there may be years between flare ups. I myself rarely have problems with my asthma. I had a really bad attack though when I found about…" He could fill in the blanks on that one.

Lucas decided it was time for a subject change. "So what exactly is a goy?"

To their surprise Rachel snickered into her mother's chest. She had studied Yiddish during homeschool. She knew she was Jewish; it wasn't hard to tell. She asked her tutor about it, and she was given coursework to aid in learning the language. "Do you really want to know?" Shelby asked- hushing Rachel with a light tap to the arm..

"Yeah, I was thinking about that letter earlier. I kept wondering but never got around to looking it up." It bothered him the way she had used it as if it were an extremely offensive thing to call a person.

Rachel timidly poked her head out from her mother's body. "Well if she used it in a mean way, you should be offended. It means gentile or non-Jewish. But it's a not so nice way of saying it." Shelby blushed.

Lucas raised his eyebrows. "You know Yiddish?"

"Yes." She buried her head in her mother's chest. Shelby rubbed her back- careful of the healing wounds.

"I don't know how she learned it. The most I ever said in front of her was swear words." Lucas was scandalized. "It wasn't like she understood it." She defended herself.

"I don't think that's the point. She could very well understand it now."

"You know it is rude to talk about someone when they are in the room." It was a bit muffled as her face was still buried in her mother.

Both parents were thoroughly chastised. "How do you know Yiddish?" Shelby segued the conversation into a different direction.

"Homeschool." She muttered. She hoped that her moth- Shelby- whatever she was didn't ask about her nightmare. "My tutor asked what languages I wanted to learn. I chose French and Yiddish."

"Why those particular ones?" Lucas asked. He wasn't trying to pressure her into speaking with him.

Rachel slid her hands under her mother's shirt. She needed the extra comfort. Her mother's skin was nice and warm. "French because of Les Mis. It is written in French at least in its original form. And Yiddish because I'm Jewish. Hebrew is usually learned in Hebrew School, which I haven't attended. You actually have to have a synagogue. Besides insults are the best to learn in any language. Yiddish insults are the best. They are a lot more offensive than American ones. Like if you call a girl a shiksa-" Shelby covered her daughter's mouth. She didn't want her revealing anything else to her father. It was all rather offensive when voiced out loud.

Lucas subtly raised an eyebrow. Shelby had used the word shiksa to describe her brother's wife. It was clearly offensive, and he was curious as to what it meant.

"Why don't we talk about your nightmare Rach?" Shelby redirected attention from herself. She knew exactly what Lucas was about to ask.

Rachel avoided looking at her parents. "Do I have to?" She mumbled, not liking this at all.

"You don't. But I would appreciate it."

Rachel shook her head as more tears soaked her mother's shirt. "Please, not now. Just sing."

Shelby kissed her hair and tightened her arms around the girl.

_Somewhere over the rainbow way up high_

_There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby_

_Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue_

_And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true_

_Someday I'll wish upon a star_

_And wake up where the clouds are far_

_Behind me_

_Where troubles melt like lemon drops_

_Away above the chimney tops_

_That's where you'll find me_

Lucas was simply mesmerized by Shelby's voice. Today was the first time had heard her sing in a really long time. It reminded him of the dreams she once had. She gave them up to raise Rachel, but he supposed that she wasn't really giving up anything. Rachel was her dream.

_Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly_

_Birds fly over the rainbow. Why then, oh, why can't I?_

_If happy little bluebirds fly_

_Beyond the rainbow why, oh, why can't I?_

Rachel snored softly against her mother's neck after Shelby readjusted the position of her body. It was only eight o'clock, but she was still worn out. She had tons of medication coursing through her body. Her inhaler had been used twice that day.

"She's something special." Lucas commented as Shelby settled the girl back on the bed.

"I hope you know you are welcome to visit her whenever you want after she's released." Lucas understood what she was actually saying.

He scratched the back of his neck. It was a nervous tic of his. "Do you think after we've gotten to know each other, she could stay at my place?"

Shelby dropped her brow- not anticipating that question in the slightest. "Well… I… uh… I'll leave that up to her."

Lucas decided that was fair. Rachel should have some say. It was her life after all, and she certainly had the right to exercise some control. "What do you think her nightmares are about?" He couldn't imagine the type of nightmares she had. When he was a kid, his nightmares were about Shelby not wanting to be his friend or the boogeyman.

Shelby's hand froze mid stroke before it continued its path. Most people would've written it off, but Lucas knew that woman inside and out. "I don't really want to know. I just want her to know that she can talk to me about anything. It would hurt if she did. I plan to talk to her doctor about finding her a trauma counselor. She could benefit from having someone not involved in any sense of the word."

"I suppose that is true. She would feel the need to edit or leave details out if she thought it would hurt us." He watched the rise and fall of her tiny chest and focused on that. She was alive when everyone kept saying there was no chance after so long.

* * *

Santana cornered Quinn before the bell rang Monday morning. She tried calling her the other afternoon after she abruptly left the park, but no one answered and it went straight to the machine. She was busy over the weekend, which was she hadn't tried again. "Where were you Friday?"

Quinn dropped her eyes to her shoes. Her mom made her promise not to tell about what she knew. It wasn't anyone's business about their private family matters. She was permitted to talk about her visit, but she was unable to provide specific details. "I visited Rachel with my family."

"How come you didn't invite me?" Santana crossed her arms with an angry huff.

The blonde toed the floor as she tried to come up with a decent explanation (lie). "I didn't know I was going." She offered with a shrug.

That answer wasn't good enough for Santana. Rachel was her friend too. "How come your uncle went? I don't think Rachel has met him before."

Quinn had no reasoning behind that without telling her friend the truth. While Rachel was her cousin, it was ultimately up to Rachel whether or not she wanted to reveal that information. "Look I can't talk about it." She said with frustration.

"Aha so there is something to talk about." Quinn cursed herself because she had given Santana something to think on.

The blonde rolled her eyes. "It isn't my business to tell. You should respect that Santana. When Rachel comes back if she wants to, she will tell you. My mom has made it clear that I can't say anything to anyone. So just let it go." She left the dark haired girl standing in the hallway.

She felt bad because she was the one on the outside looking in just a few days before, but now the roles were reversed. Quinn knew a lot more than Santana would probably ever know. She was aware that Santana even envied that, but it honestly wasn't her fault. She was not aware of what had transpired until after the fact. Her friend couldn't be angry for what she did know.

* * *

Rachel didn't know what she was feeling. She had yet to dissect it into all of its parts. Her mind was stuck on the word kidnap. The brunette could hardly believe that it was the secret they harbored for the past six years. Something was off to her, but never in a million years would she ever suggest it was because they took her from another life. Once upon a time, she was a little girl named Rachel Barbra Corcoran who lived with her mom and had a cat named Nicky. Her babysitter's name was Linda. And most importantly she was happy.

She had a life that she was stripped of. They took her and transplanted her into this hell she was living. Why had they taken her? What was special about her? Out of all the kids that were in the park that day, why did they choose her? She could've been happy. She would be normal. There wouldn't be any nightmares about closets or men with red eyes. She would sleep just fine even if it was dark. Her body wouldn't be covered in scars.

Rachel wouldn't be wary around her mother. She could appreciate the woman was trying to help her, but she had gone so long without having a mother that it was disorienting for the young girl to suddenly have one in the span of thirty-six hours. Shelby took control over the situation and directed all of the nurses who gawked at her to go do their jobs. It actually wasn't as polite as that, and Rachel heard her swear in Yiddish once more. Her mom sure did have a mouth on her.

Rachel was a tiny bit relieved that her mom was there to do that. Those nurses never seemed to have anything better to do than to gossip and stare. It irritated Rachel to no end because she was like the circus freak. She hated all of the attention. Normally she relished in any attention, but she wasn't being appraised for her talent. All they could discuss was the reason she was in the hospital in the first place.

She didn't want their pity or their pathetic apologies. They didn't know her. They didn't know what she had survived while living with h-her k-k-kidn-n-nappers. The word was difficult for her to vocalize or think. It just didn't seem real. All that went through her head was that this couldn't possibly be her life. It resembled nothing that she knew.

Shelby never hit her even when Rachel had an attitude and talked back to her. The woman possessed the patience of a saint because she never once raised her voice or was quick to anger. It honestly terrified Rachel more than living with Hiram. With him she knew what to expect, but her mother was the opposite in every way. She kissed and hugged her, and doted on her happily. She never complained when Rachel asked for water or the remote.

She actually seemed delighted that Rachel asked for anything. It was like nothing pleased her more than to do things for her. It was a bit unnerving for her.

The Lucas thing was just plain strange. She didn't know him at all aside from being Quinn's uncle. She had vague memories of her friend mention him, but she had no actual memories for herself. Now though, she had an actual face and he wasn't just a friend's uncle. He was her biological father, and he wanted to be an active participant in her life. She didn't know what to do with that information.

The idea of having another father scared her more than having a mother. With her mother, she didn't have any expectations. She was out of her depth, but she had previous experiences that were not positive in the slightest with fathers. Well, she thought they were fathers, she amended in her head. They weren't fathers in any sense of the word, but they more or less for the last six years were her caregivers. She just didn't know what to do. This was all too much for one kid to handle on their own.

Lucas wasn't pushing at all. In actuality, it seemed as if he was hesitant to just be sitting in the same room as her. He never once attempted to touch or hug her in any sort of way. He was content to watch her. He only conversed with her if her mother was in the room. He would squirm often if Shelby left the room. She supposed he was probably out of his depth as well. Taking care of nieces was vastly different than taking care of daughters.

If it was strange for them, it was certainly strange for Rachel. She had muddled memories of her mother, but there wasn't anything concrete. Nothing of substance stood out to her. At least it hadn't until she caught a whiff of her mother's perfume. She recognized the scent from an incident involving perfume and carpet. It was her favorite smell. It was why her mother's arms felt as comforting as they did Friday night because the smell accompanied the warmth of the woman's body. It transported her to a different time and place- one with no kidnappers involved. It was her and her mommy and their evil kitty.

It was the safest she felt in years and she attributed it to the soft vibrations of her mother's voice and the strong, warms arms wrapped tightly around her as if they never intended to release her ever again.

Currently, she was alone in her room, which was a first for her in the few days. Her p-parents or whatever spent their entire Friday night watching over her. Rachel tried not to express on her face how touched she was by the gesture. She didn't want to seem pathetic. It was probably a normal parent thing to do, but what would she know about normal. Nothing about her life was ordinary. Was there even such a thing as normal? Could she be a regular girl like Quinn or Santana? Would she always cringe away from her mother's touch?

Rachel desperately wished she had the answers to these questions. It would make her feel a lot better if she did. She wanted to know more than anything.

A woman- one she was unfamiliar with entered the room. She had a kind smile and soft eyes. "Hello Rachel." The girl mumbled something in return- not caring it was a greeting or not. The woman seemed unperturbed by the her sulky behavior. "My name is Grace. I'm a trauma counselor here at the hospital."

Rachel resisted the urge to roll her eyes. It was obvious from the moment she stepped through the door what her purpose was. "I am assuming you are here to talk to me about what I've gone through."

Grace blinked rapidly as she wasn't expecting the girl's response. "Well I- uh yes. You don't have to talk to me today. I want you to wait until you feel comfortable." Rachel was tired of adults telling her that. Didn't they understand that she didn't know how to be comfortable? She couldn't easily desensitize herself like other kids her age. She wasn't like them, nor did she ever think she would be.

"I'm not your average kid. I hope you are aware. I read at a tenth grade level. I'm well informed on what it is you are supposed to be doing." Rachel felt the urge to tell this woman she knew exactly what she was doing. She wasn't some dumb kid easily talked into revealing her feelings.

Grace leaned forward in her seat. "What is it you think I am here to do?"

This time Rachel actually rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath. She was glad her mother wasn't there to hear that. She didn't think swearing would be something tolerated. "You want me to talk about what I went through in the last six years. You probably want to talk about any possible nightmares I have. My bet is that my parents encouraged this because while they say that I can talk to them about anything, they honestly are not equipped to handle something of this magnitude. It would only hurt them to hear about all the tragedies I suffered." She told her nonchalantly.

"You are smarter than most of the staff is giving you credit for." Grace overheard the nurses constantly chattering away about Rachel for the past several days. They assumed her to be some dumb, naïve kid because she had chosen to stay with the Berry men.

Rachel silently observed the woman before her. She wasn't what she was expecting when she overheard her caseworker talking to her doctors about the need to involve someone equipped with the necessary skills in dealing with a situation such as hers. So far the woman had passed no judgment on her or said she was stupid for staying with the men. "I guess. Most of those nurses are dumb. They think I can't hear them, but I'm not deaf. My ears were perfectly fine, well above par."

Grace chuckled. Rachel was like a little mini adult, but she could see the child begging to be released underneath all of the protective layers. It was her job to pull back each layer, and expose the raw being underneath. "May I ask a question?" Rachel nodded- she never agreed to answer, and there was no harm in asking. "Why is it you think you never left? I'm sure you've had ample opportunity before, but you never did."

Rachel's mouth turned down into a frown as her eyes squinted shut. It was perhaps the most revealing question anyone had asked of her. At times, she wasn't sure why she had never done it. "Familiarity. I was afraid of the unknown. They told me that I was a child of sin. Well I'm sure you've heard the stories of foster homes, and they told me all sorts of things. They said it was much better with them. At least with them I knew what to expect."

The woman expected that answer. It was the most truthful thing she suspected the girl had said in days. It was the first step in the process. It was admittance. "I don't think that it was wrong." Grace knew children often felt that adults weren't listening to them. They heard, but they never listened. "You were more terrified of what was out in the world than what was in your own house. It is understandable. Many children in your situation feel the exact same way."

Rachel warmed up to Grace a little more. The woman didn't put her down at all. She actually reassured her that it wasn't wrong how she felt. She was entitled to her feelings, and no one could understand how she felt. "We will be meeting bi-weekly, and if I or your mom think you need to meet more, we will. It was nice meeting you Rachel." They shook hands.

"You too." She replied with a small smile. It wasn't much, but it was certainly better than her greeting. "Thanks for not treating me like some silly kid."

"You know I actually think that's how you want me to treat you. I think you would prefer that." Rachel had to admit that Grace was more observant than she had initially given her credit for. People didn't really see her as a kid anymore, nor did they view her as an adult. She was stuck in this limbo from which she was unable to escape.

The only people who saw the child were surprisingly her parents, her doctor, her social worker, her aunt and cousins, her nurse, and Grace. They all treated her as someone of her age- no older and no younger. It made her feel all funny inside. She had never had so many people care for her before.

Rachel was bored yet again, and her mother was at work. Shelby told her she would be back at 3:30. Rachel worried her lip as her mom said this. She hadn't wanted the woman to go in the first place.

She didn't know where Lucas was. She knew he had some errands and other things to take care of, but she wished he would hurry up. His company was certainly better than no company. At least she would have something to distract herself with.

"That's a heavy sigh there kiddo." Rachel's snapped to the door. It was Lucas. She cursed herself for being as surprised as she was. She knew logically she should expect him to be there. He was her father after all, and taking care of their kid was a dad thing to. She had seen Mr. Fabray and Dr. Lopez do it on several occasions.

Rachel smiled shyly at him. "Hi," her voice was a soft lilt.

Lucas felt his heart melting. Rachel hardly ever voluntarily spoke to him. He accepted that. He was a stranger to his little girl. "Hey there, how is your day?"

"Aside from the hospital part?" She retorted wryly.

Lucas smirked. "You're a little smart ass aren't you?"

"Maybe I should tell mom about your use of swear words?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'll give you ten dollars if you promise not to tell your mother." He reprimanded her only a few days before for doing that. He couldn't get busted for it now.

"Twenty and you have a deal." She grinned impishly at him. Her eyes were full of mirth.

He held out his hand and she took it in her smaller one. "Deal." He knew he had been played by a nine year old. He wasn't embarrassed at all; a part of him was actually proud that she conned him. He was a little trickster himself at her age. He handed over the cash and her grin widened.

"It was nice doing business with you." Rachel snickered at the gaping look on Lucas' face. He was clearly not expecting that from her. "It isn't often that I have the pleasure of hustling someone. Did you really think I would tell mom? It isn't like she's a little angel. You should've heard her swearing at the nurses gossiping."

From the smile on Lucas' face, Rachel knew he had a good idea about what she was talking about. He had known her mother a lot longer than she had. He was much more knowledgeable in who Shelby Corcoran was. "Yes, she does tend to do that."

"Why does she get so defensive?" Rachel furrowed her brow. She was interested in hearing his reply. She couldn't fathom why it bothered her mother so much.

"I suppose because she knows it bothers you." From the shock on her face, Lucas gathered that she was unaware that they read her face. "Rachel, you are easy to read. It was obvious to anyone with eyes or who knows your mother that you make the same expressions she does. You try to hide it a little better, but there was one point where you were scowling. Besides she's never been one for gossips. She doesn't want you to be uncomfortable."

"I never had anyone do that before." She admitted in a small voice. "Quinn and Santana are the only ones who ever stuck up for me."

"Get used to it." He informed her. "Your mother will defend anyone she cares about."

"Like you?" She said with a cheeky grin.

"I-I'm sorry?" He fumbled with his words as her question/statement caught him off guard.

Rachel huffed playfully and rolled her eyes. "Adults always think kids are so dumb and we don't notice stuff. But you and mom are like so obvious. It's like watching those people in movies who don't they like each other, but everyone around them sees it and tries to tell them. And it isn't until the very end when they almost lose their chance that they realize it." Gosh, grown-ups were dumb in her opinion. They always talked about kids, but grown-ups never saw what was right under their noses.

He coughed a bit to hide his laughter. "I don't think we give you enough credit." Rachel stared at him as if to say 'you think?' "It is complicated between us, and I'm not going to discuss my romantic life with my nine year old daughter."

"Hey, I'm almost ten." She said offended. "I'm a great listener and advice giver."

"Somehow I don't doubt that, but our problems are just that, ours. It isn't something you should worry about."

Rachel frowned and dropped her eyes to the hospital blanket. "Even if you guys never get back together, you'll still be there for me?" She lifted her eyes to meet his. For the first time, Lucas could see his little girl. She was vulnerable, but she wasn't broken. She was just scared of getting hurt.

He scooted his chair closer to her so that he could look into her eyes better. "I promise that I will always be there for you. Nothing you could say or do could tear me ever." Rachel believed him. She was skeptical, but it was his eyes so much like hers that made the doubt go away.

"I believe you." That statement meant more than he could ever say. "Can you sing?"

He chuckled. "My voice isn't nearly as lovely as your mother's, but I sing a little." He tried to ignore the hammering in his heart as she grabbed his hand.

"Could you sing for me?" She asked timidly.

"I would do anything for you sweetheart. Do you mind the song pick?" She shook her head. It was her dream to have her dad sing to her. Quinn used to gush about how her dad would sing her to bed every night. Well why couldn't she have hers sing to her?

_There's two things I know for sure:_

_She was sent here from heaven and she's daddy's little girl._

_As I drop to my knees by her bed at night_

_She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes _

_and I thank god for all of the joy in my life_

_Oh, but most of all_

Rachel liked the sound of his voice. It had this soft quality to it, but his voice also conveyed his sadness.

_For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer;_

_sticking little white flowers all up in her hair; _

_"Walk beside the pony, Daddy, it's my first ride."_

_"I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried."_

_Oh, with all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right_

_To deserve a hug every morning And butterfly kisses at night._

The brunette watched with teary hazel eyes as this man she only met a few days before sang this song to her. She had no idea that he loved her so much already. It baffled her because the men she grew up with for the last six years never told her they loved her. They never sang to her. They never looked at her so lovingly. This was all new to her.

_Sweet 16 today_

_She's looking like her mama a little more everyday_

_One part woman, the other part girl._

_To perfume and make-up from ribbons and curls_

_Trying her wings out in a great big world._

_But I remember..._

_Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer; _

_sticking little white flowers all up in her hair._

_"You know how much I love you, Daddy, _

_But if you don't mind I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time."_

_Oh with all that I've done wrong I must have done something right _

_to deserve her love every morning and butterfly kisses at night._

While she couldn't admit it aloud yet, she knew she loved Lucas. He was her daddy. He would protect her from anyone that tried to do her harm. She knew that.

_All the precious time_

_Like the wind, the years go by._

_Precious butterfly._

_Spread your wings and fly._

_She'll change her name today._

_She'll make a promise and I'll give her away._

_Standing in the bride-room just staring at her._

_She asked me what I'm thinking and I said _

_"I'm not sure-I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl."_

_She leaned over_

_Gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there,_

_Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair_

_"Walk me down the aisle, Daddy-it's just about time."_

_"Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy? Daddy, don't cry"_

_Oh, with all that I've done wrong I must have done something right._

_To deserve her love every morning and butterfly kisses_

_I couldn't ask God for more, man this is what love is._

_I know I gotta let her go, but I'll always remember_

_Every hug in the morning and butterfly kisses..._

"Thank you." She whispered into the silence.

Lucas discreetly wiped away the tears. He hadn't meant to get emotional, but there was something so tender and human singing that song to HIS daughter. "No problem baby girl."

* * *

**AN- She may refer to them as her parents in her head, but to their faces she's not ready to address them as such. She will be leaving the hospital in the next chapter. Thoughts?**


	8. In Our Happiness We Hide

**AN- Since it is my birthday, I decided to give you guys the gift. I hope you all have a wonderful day. Enjoy!**

* * *

Amused, dark hazel eyes flickered between two figures arguing in the hallway. Today was the day she would be discharged from the hospital, and finally go home- wherever home was. Only her parents in a disagreement.

Lucas wanted the opportunity to spend some time with her, and he would drop her off at her mother's later. It would give Shelby extra time to prepare the house for her arrival. The problem was that her mother preferred that she go home to get rest. In all honestly, she preferred her father's idea over her mother's. She spent over a week and a half in this hospital bed, and she was itching to get out.

She sought freedom from her confinement, and resting was the last thing on her mind. Rachel needed fun. It was relaxing for a little bit, but having nothing to do was completely boring. Her day was nothing but a monotonous routine of a nurse and doctor constantly checking up on her, her parents worrying themselves silly, and Quinn updating her on all the going ons at school.

Rachel was going stir crazy in this hospital, and she desperately hoped beyond hope that her mother would allow her father to have this one. She could always relax and rest later.

Rachel continued to watch as her parents duked it out. She was all too willing to let them continue as they were her only source of entertainment. The brunette was dressed and ready to leave, all she was waiting on was her parents to come to some sort of truce.

Her mother arrived that morning with clothes for her. She asked Rachel a few days before what size she wore so that she could pick out some things at the store for her. Rachel answered her meekly as she didn't want to be a burden. Clothes were expensive after all, and considering she required an all new wardrobe, she didn't understand her mother's willingness to buy her clothes.

She was flying by the seat of her pants as none of this was ordinary to her. It was slightly disorienting to go from one life to another. Instead of Rachel Berry on her charts, she was Rachel Corcoran. Her medical records were added to her original ones. She found out all sorts of facts about herself that she had no clue about before. Apparently she had chicken pox on her third birthday. She made her mom put the calamine lotion on constantly because it was pink and soothed her itchies.

She had four older cousins on her mother's side. She was the youngest of the bunch. They all doted on her when she was a toddler. Her nana and poppy were still alive, and she sort of recognized them from the pictures her mother showed her.

Rachel saw how much her mother loved her, and it caused an ache in her heart each time. It saddened her that she was the cause of much of the heartache in her mother's life. The woman mourned every day for the last six years for her lost child, while Rachel lived life. Rachel failed to comprehend why her mother continued to search for her; in her opinion she wasn't worth it. What baffled her further was Lucas. Before the other week, he was hesitant to remain in a room with her. Now though, his eyes lingered on her with a sparkle. He smiled often, and he attempted conversation with her.

He never once initiated physical contact as he knew that made her feel uneasy. He let her come to him, which she sometimes did. His hugs felt even safer than her mothers if that was possible. She supposed that was more of a trick of the mind than anything.

All she knew was that they were both there for her, and they constantly promised not to let anything bad happen to her again. She wasn't sure how they would keep that promise, but she really wanted to believe them. She was smart enough to know they couldn't protect her from everything because people eventually get hurt; she knew what they actually meant behind their positive words.

However, how they were behaving at the moment was quite a shock to her system. It was a stark contrast to the way they acted as her parents. They were ornery adults, and Rachel wondered if this was how they behaved when they were together. She would have to discuss the prospects of reuniting them with her Aunt Judy. There was something quite interesting about their interactions that had Rachel pensive. She wasn't sure if she imagined it or not, but when their chests were pressed together there was something in their eyes.

It reminded her of the feelings and interactions in her books. Their breaths were in sync but a bit faster paced than normal, and she swore she saw her mother lick her lips at some point. Really, she couldn't fathom why they were being ridiculous about the whole thing.

Finally when she realized they were at an impasse, she pressed her forefinger and thumb to her lips and whistled rather loudly for such a tiny girl. Both parents jumped at the abrupt, high pitched noise to face their sheepish child.

"Thank you." She smiled quite pleased with herself. "Not that I have your attention, I have something to say." She turned to face her mother with the biggest, desperate eyes Shelby had ever seen. "Please, let me go with him to the movies. I promise we won't do anything to hurt my back. I can rest when he drops me off and all tomorrow." It didn't escape either parents' notice how she neglected to say home. "I just want to have some fun. That's what other kids get to do."

Shelby pursed her lips as Rachel had a point. She spent the better part of two weeks in the hospital bed with Quinn as the only person available that was her age. "I don't know…" But Rachel and Lucas' eyes lit up because they heard the hesitation in her voice.

"Come on please mommy." Rachel knew how to work it when she needed it. And right now she needed her mother to agree to a day out. "We can watch a movie together when I get… home." It sounded funny and she wasn't sure how she felt about that word just yet.

Shelby's lips lifted up into a smile at the manipulation. At three or nine, Rachel knew exactly how to get what she wanted. It was part of what her mother found so endearing about her darling daughter. "Fine." She conceded defeat. There was no way she would win against both of them. "But you better be back by six." She fixed a stern gaze on Lucas who held up his hands.

Rachel beamed radiantly at her mom. "Thank you so much mom." The endearment slipped easily out of her mouth without her realizing it. Rachel hopped off the bed and initiated a hug. She was not normally affectionate with people despite being in fact a tactile person. Shelby kissed her head and smoothed down wavy brown hair.

"Be good." She warned both of them.

Rachel grinned innocently and Lucas merely smirked. She shook her head. "Have fun, but not too much."

Rachel's dress fluttered in the wind, and she enjoyed how it flowed around her. She couldn't remember the last time she wore a dress. It was a simple pink dress with leopard print, but the point was that is was all hers. It wasn't a costume that needed to be returned to wardrobe at the end of the night. She also loved the comfy feel of her new flats. They were black with a bow. Normally she wore tennis shoes as that was the only thing they would buy her.

She couldn't remember the last time she felt girly outside of dance. She loved it.

* * *

Shelby rushed to the door at the sound of someone frantically knocking. The mother had no idea what she would if it was someone telling her daughter was gone. She threw open the door to a tear stricken Rachel and a worried Lucas.

Rachel threw her arms around her mother's waist and cried into her stomach. Shelby shot Lucas a look as he shrugged his innocence. Rachel refused to talk about it. She told him at the end of their movie she wanted to go back to Shelby. She sat in silence during the whole drive over.

"Thanks for bringing her. I'll call you when I know more." She smiled sadly at him. Shelby knew he was more than likely feeling guilty because their daughter was crying.

Lucas closed the door and mother and daughter were left alone. "Come on Rach."

Rachel whined. "Carry me. Hold me." Shelby complied and lifted her daughter up into her arms. Rachel snuggled into her mother's neck as she continued to sob. The mother rubbed her daughter's back as she carried her over to the couch. Rachel clung to her and refused to let go.

"Hey, shh… you're safe." She made soft shushing noises and held Rachel. After a few minutes, Rachel's cries quieted into hiccups. Rachel pulled back with a wet face and red eyes. Shelby wiped away all of her tears. "What's wrong sweetheart?"

More tears filled her little girl's eyes. "We saw Nemo in 3D. A-and Nemo got taken away from his daddy too." Understanding dawned on Shelby's face as she finally knew the reason for why Rachel was so upset.

"But Nemo found his daddy." She reminded Rachel. "And they got to live happily ever after."

Rachel hiccupped. "Yes, b-but his daddy thought he was dead. Did you think I was dead?" Watery hazel eyes stared into emerald orbs. "Is that why you were so sad?"

Shelby always knew her daughter was a perceptive child. She wished she hadn't made those connections though. "Yes," she cupped Rachel's cheek. "I thought you were gone from me forever. But just like Nemo and his daddy found each other, we found each other." She crushed Rachel to her chest and the girl soaked up the feeling of safety.

Her mom was right. They were back together. It may have taken them longer than it took Nemo and his daddy to find each other, but they did it despite the odds stacked against them. She had her mom. She sniffled once again and wiped her face against her mother's shirt.

Shelby rolled her eyes because she expected it. It was a classic Rachel move, and one that the little girl still had not outgrown. She probably never would. The thought comforted the mother more than words could ever express. Rachel was still her baby girl who needed lots of cuddles and someone to wipe her tears when she was sad.

"You aren't going to let anyone take me away ever again?" Her eyes were wide and vulnerable as tears spilled onto her cheeks.

The mother wiped them away with the pads of her thumbs as she kissed her daughter. "No baby, if I had it my way I would handcuff you to me. That way wherever I go you go."

"But what about when I have to use the bathroom?" She giggled, and the mother's heart stuttered at the sound. Some of the heaviness had worn off.

Shelby tapped her daughter's nose. "You're so silly. Did you want to watch that movie?"

Rachel furrowed her brows as a serious expression took over her face. "What do you got?"

"I have a rather impressive musical collection, but I also have a lot of Disney." There wasn't a reason to account for the rather extensive Disney collection. Rachel loved Disney, and when she was three, watched at least five of them a day.

Rachel peered into her mother's green eyes. "Do you have _The Little Mermaid?_"

"I don't know…" she pretended to think upon it before tickling Rachel mercilessly. "Say uncle."

Rachel squealed and tried to squirm out of her mother's arms, but her mother was relentless in her tickle fight. "Fine I give. Uncle, uncle." She cried out in laughter.

Shelby sat her daughter up on her lap. "I thought you would come to agree with me." Rachel pouted because her mom totally didn't play fair. That was like cheating. "Do you want to watch it upstairs in bed or down here?"

"Upstairs in bed." She wanted to be warm in her pajamas, and she was kind of tired. She just needed the comfort of her mom's arms.

Fifteen minutes later, Shelby crawled into the bed with her little girl. They were in her room. Shelby had yet to organize anything in Rachel's, and most of the recent purchases for her daughter were in her room. Rachel changed into her pajamas, which she had loved. The shirt was her favorite part, 'Your Dreams Can Come True'.

It occurred to her while changing that her dream had come true. She had found her mom again. Her mom was in the bathroom changing, but she was there and loved her. There no monsters in closets to be worried about, though the thought of closets still terrified her. Sleeping without the additional comfort of her mom frightened her. Her mom spent every night with her at the hospital, and she wasn't sure she could sleep by herself. That was usually when the nightmares happened.

Being alone was her biggest fear. Her thoughts turned scary and she became paranoid. The darkness was where her nightmares lived and probably always would.

Shelby hit play on the movie and smiled when Rachel clutched her shirt in her fist much like a baby would. She watched with amusement was Rachel attempted to fight off her sleep. Her eyes would flutter shut for a few seconds before popping open once more.

It was just after _Kiss the Girl_ that Rachel's eyes permanently shut. Her breathing evened out and Shelby could feel her soft little snores against her neck. Her t-shirt was still firmly clutched in her baby girl's hand, but she didn't mind. If Rachel needed the extra comfort she would give it to her. She pressed her lips to the crown of Rachel's head. Rachel sighed in her sleep and murmured a soft "mommy."

"Yeah baby, it's mommy. Go back to sleep." She rubbed her daughter's back as Rachel fell further into dream land. "I love you baby bird." They were far from healed, but Shelby knew there wasn't any place in the world she would rather be in that moment.

* * *

**AN- Thoughts? I know it's short, but I haven't had much time recently to write. I've been packing to go back to school and I moved in yesterday.**


	9. In the Sun We Shine

**AN- So it's been a month, and the only reason I thought of updating was because someone left me a review reminding me that it's been a year since I started this. It certainly has changed and turned into something completely different, but I love it. I can't say for sure when I'll update again because this semester is seriously kicking me in the ass. This chapter is light and fluffy before things start happening.**

* * *

She was warm. It wasn't like sick warm because she didn't feel yucky or anything like that. It was the kind of warm when your body is really close to another's.

Rachel scrounged her brain as she attempted to figure out where she was. She barely remembered falling asleep. Flashes of _Finding Nemo_ and _The Little Mermaid_ went through her mind and her eyes fluttered open.

She recognized the long, dark brown hair. It was much like her own. She nestled into her mother's chest as she softly inhaled the lavender scent. She hummed happily. It was something she missed. The little girl could never understand why she was drawn to the scent of lavender, and why she felt at home when it enveloped her. But she knew now. While physically she was unable to remember her mommy, her counselor told her that it was there in the recesses of her mind. Memories were tricky, and didn't like when we tried to pull them out ourselves.

They would come and go. Sometimes it was something in the present that reminded us of a previous memory that would draw out. Rachel didn't have very many tangible memories from before she was five. They were unavailable to her, which her trauma counselor assured her was very normal. But sometimes when something was overly familiar to her as it had been recently, memories bled themselves into her dreams. Apparently that could happen too.

She remembered her dream from before she woke up. It was a nice one.

_Chubby, little legs broke into a run as giggles travelled through the air. It was the beginning of March. The weather was a little better than the previous few weeks. _

_Arms were flung all over the place as the body's owner tried to quicken her pace. She grew frustrated because no matter how much she tried she was never faster than her mommy. Her mommy was the fastest person she knew. She pouted and plopped herself on the ground with her arms folded across her tiny chest. _

_Shelby rolled her eyes at her daughter's petulant behavior. They were just minutes before having a nice time. She could never understand the abrupt turn in her daughter's attitude. Rachel was the sweetest, most loving girl one moment, and then the next she was a complete terror. Occasionally, the mother fought with herself not to lose her patience or her temper with her little girl. Rachel was three and it was her job to guide and discipline her. Progress couldn't be made if she yelled and screamed at her daughter until she was blue in the face as she witnessed other parents do on occasion. _

_The older brunette halted her running before slowly making her way over towards her baby girl. Something was obviously upsetting the little girl. Shelby would not tolerate defiance, and it was better to settle something before it festered. Rachel's tantrums were often deadly. _

_Shelby lowered herself into a seated position next to her daughter with her legs splayed out in front of her. Rachel's eyes darted towards her mother's relaxed position before becoming fixed once again on her lap. _

"_Baby bird," the mother addressed in a soothing voice. "Do you want to tell mommy what is wrong?"_

_Rachel shook her head angrily. Normally a question warranted a vocal response from her daughter. "Why not?" Rachel's lips curled in annoyance. She didn't want to talk to her mommy at all. "I can't help if you don't tell me." The mother gave her a few minutes to collect her thoughts. While Rachel was a pensive, bright child, she couldn't resist the urge of talking. Rachel did not know what it meant to be silent, for she just didn't have it in her. _

_Little lips pursed in thought as she considered her mommy's words. Her mommy did always say how she wanted nothing more than to help her. If she told her what was the matter than she would do whatever she could to fix it. Rachel was resolved to tell her mother what was bothering her even if in this case it was her. "I never goin' to beat you."_

_Shelby scrunched her eyebrows as she tried to determine the meaning of her daughter's words. "Beat me at what, sweetheart?" She needed more elaboration on her daughter's part._

_Rachel slapped her lips together as she contemplated her next words. "You faster than me. I gots lil legs, but you gots big 'uns." _

"_Ahh, well Rachel one day you will be bigger." _

"_Na uh!" Rachel shook her head, adamant that her mother was incorrect. _

_The mother smiled as she cupped her daughter's face. "Rach, I was small like you once. I want you to know that there's a reason I never let you win. Letting you win doesn't teach you anything. It doesn't let you grow. If I allowed you to win then you would never work for anything in your life. Before you gave up, how many times did we race? Lots because you want to beat me. If you keep working one day you will. And I won't even be a little annoyed when you rub it in my face." Rachel tilted her head up at Shelby. _

"_You thinks I can beat you?" Those words were said with much amazement. Rachel's eyes sparkled with ambition and determination. "I pactice." It was like her dance teacher always said 'practice makes perfect.' Rachel just knew that if she practiced, she would beat her mom one day. It might not be today or tomorrow, but one day the little girl would show her mom that she was faster. _

"_I know you will. When you want something, you go and get it. That's what I love about you. You aren't afraid of anything. You don't let anything keep you down for long. You keep fighting. You don't let your cousins make fun of you. Rachel, you're a special little girl."_

_Rachel beamed in appreciation. Even at three, she knew special set you apart from other people. Her chest puffed out in pride, and her mother laughed at the display. Special was what people like Barbra were, and she was going to be just like Barbra when she was all grown up. She told her mother that after she watched _Funny Girl_. _

"_I special." She marveled quietly from her seated position. The words made her feel all warm and tingly inside. She felt happy. _

"_Yeah you are baby bird. You are my special girl, and don't you ever forget it." Shelby grabbed Rachel and began tickling her all over. Rachel giggled jovially. She loved tickles and cuddles from her mommy. _

"_Mommy st-opp." She cried out in laughter. "I gots to pee." Shelby stopped as she was all too aware of what could happen if she didn't. Rachel grinned at Shelby and tackled her to the ground as little fingers attacked. _

_Shelby laughed more from the mischievous grin and eyes full of mirth. Her daughter was quite sneaky. She was such an expressive child. "You little trickster." She laughed as Rachel laughed. _

"_Yep." She exclaimed. This was Rachel's new favorite day. Not only was it with her mommy, but she felt today was very important. She learned something new, and while she didn't understand everything her mommy said, she knew one day she would. "I'm glad dat you here." She kissed her mother's cheek and wrapped her arms around Shelby's neck. _

"_Me too baby, me too." Rachel felt her mommy's lips press into her air. She loved mommy's kisses most of all._

"_Sing." Was all she said. She often forgot to say please when she asked her mother to sing, and Shelby usually let it slide as she no problem singing for her baby bird. _

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_You make me happy when skies are grey_

_You'll never know dear, how much I love you_

_Please don't take my sunshine away_

_The other night dear, as I lay sleepin'_

_I dreamed, I held you in my arms_

_When I awoke dear, I was mistaken_

_So I hung my head and I cry_

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_You make me happy when skies are grey_

_You'll never know dear, how much I love you_

_Please don't take my sunshine away_

_You told me once dear, you really loved me_

_And no one else could come between_

_But now you've left me and you love another_

_And you have shattered all my dreams_

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_You make me happy when skies are grey_

_You'll never know dear, how much I love you_

_Please don't take my sunshine away_

_I'll always love you and make you happy_

_If you will only say the same_

_But if you leave me to love another_

_But you'll regret it all some day_

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_You make me happy when skies are grey_

_You'll never know dear, how much I love you_

_Please don't take my sunshine away_

_Please don't take my sunshine away_

_Rachel clung tighter to her mother. She didn't ever want to be taken away from her mommy. And now she knew her mommy felt the same way about her. "I love you lots." She told her. _

"_I love you to sweetheart."_

Rachel pulled back to stare at her mother's sleeping face. Her mother's face hadn't changed much. Her face was much softer and relaxed when she was sleeping. She looked peaceful, which Rachel supposed was reasonable. The body's defenses were at their lowest during sleeping. Although, the girl assumed there was much more to it than that.

She began humming the song from her dream/memory. It was such a lovely song. Rachel wished she had never been taken away. She wondered how many times her mother cried. She remembered her own sleepless nights, full of tears and runny noses. She wanted her mother's arms wrapped tightly around her for protection, but sadly that never happened. It was why she inevitably reached the same conclusion as them and her therapist.

Lucky for her, they were completely wrong. She had a mother who loved her more than life itself. A mother who had suffered as much as she had. A mother who loved her despite it all. Some kids took their parents for granted, and often didn't realized what they really had. Rachel knew better though. She had seen the darker side, and she was glad she was being offered this chance in the light once again.

The dark would always be there, but somehow she knew her mother would be the sunshine guiding her back again.

* * *

**AN- Thoughts? Questions? I'm going to be honest though, updates won't be as frequent as they were during those few weeks in summer. I honestly don't have the time between like 15 clubs, acting as a service coordinator, volunteering, and five classes. But I'll try. **


	10. On the Inside We Shine

**AN- I know it's been like four months, but junior in college is something else. I was swamped last semester, and the trend continues this one as well. Updates will remain sporadic, and for that I apologize. However, I will not abandon this story. It has come to mean a lot to me, and I thank everyone of you for continuing to rad. Below are four quotes that fit the chapter perfectly.**

* * *

"_There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds." _

― _Laurell K. Hamilton_

"_Anything that's human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone." _

― _Fred Rogers_

"_Over time as most people fail the survivor's exacting test of trustworthiness, she tends to withdraw from relationships. The isolation of the survivor thus persists even after she is free." _

― _Judith Lewis Herman_

"_Some people's lives seem to flow in a narrative; mine had many stops and starts. That's what trauma does. It interrupts the plot. You can't process it because it doesn't fit with what came before or what comes afterwards." _

― _Jessica Stern_

* * *

A week had passed since Rachel arrived at her mother's house. There was an awkward tension surrounding her and her mother whenever they happened to be in a room together.

Both of them were apprehensive to suggest deeper conversation. Rachel was not sure what to make of the woman she spent the first three years of her life with. She had vague memories of Shelby at best, and it was hard to displace the feelings anger and pain she felt on a daily basis over the past six years.

It was uncommon for to feel unsure of herself, but this is not something she ever foresaw occurring. Her mother was pushed to the recesses of her mind, a place she could not actively reach. It was unsettling for her to suddenly cohabitate with someone who was virtually a stranger. Logically, she understood that Shelby Corcoran was her mother and loved her, but emotionally she felt as if the woman abandoned her.

She was in a state of imbalance. It didn't help that they tip toed around one another. Her mother escorted her to all of her appointments. Her stitches were to be removed in another week as the wounds were not where her doctor would like.

Her nutritionist was worried that she was not eating enough, which was actually true. Rachel found that she did not possess an appetite at meal times. There were better ways to express this to her mother, which her trauma counselor was working on her with. It was apparently natural for someone who experienced trauma to rage at others or to simply not talk.

Rachel preferred the not talking method. She felt it fit her paradigm. After all, no one knew what went on in the house with the Berry men for all those years because she said nothing. People never understood anyway.

* * *

The young girl sighed warily as she entered Dr. Thompson's office for what was her third session with the woman. She was nice enough she supposed. She did not force her to communicate or anything, but simply stared at her. She was not a normal shrink, which was why Rachel had not complained to her mother.

"Hello Rachel," the red head smiled softly at the girl.

Rachel nodded her head in greeting. She had not uttered a single word in this office, or to anyone about what happened to her. The memories were painful and terrified her. She suffered from vicious nightmares where there was no one to save her, much like the ones that featured her mother. Except in these she was truly alone.

The girl's face was far from relaxed. It displayed her discontentment and a variety of other expressions that the doctor was positive the girl would not be able to identify. Her eyes were what told her actual story. They screamed of pain, terror, loneliness, and most of all fear.

The small brunette's eyes lowered to her hands in her lap. Her thumbs fumbled as her eyes darted to the doctor and quickly back to her lap. She wanted to talk to the doctor, but at the same time, what would she say?

She huffed impatiently at herself. She was ambivalent about revealing the depths of her horrific past for she did not know which reaction the good doctor would have. There were far too many.

Her lips twitched with unseen movement. Her tongue slowly darted out to wet her lips as she nervously eyed Dr. Thompson. Her hands squeezed together tightly as she opened her mouth to finally speak. "I-I," she cleared her dry throat. _Was it hot?_ "My first memory of living with them was the very day they took me from the park." Her face burned with a shame that was not her own, but one she felt nonetheless.

"I was locked in the closet for the first time where I suffered a serious asthma attack." She swallowed nervously as her eyes squeezed shut. The memory threatened to overwhelm her. She felt the tears preparing themselves to stream down her face endlessly. "They did not know that I was asthmatic. H-hiram," she stuttered painfully and winced at his name. "He regretted it. He thought I was more trouble than I was worth. They ran through a sequence of scenarios, but in the end they knew they could not return me without severe consequences to them. LeRoy used his connections to get me my own prescription for an inhaler."

Her hands were completely white from lack of blood flow. Her face was flushed with heat as her emotions bubbled to the surface. "For the first few months, I was denied the privilege," she spat angrily, disgust boiling deep inside of her. "Of leaving the house. They believed I was not to be trusted outside for I was still adamant that I was Rachel Corcoran. I was three and quite aware of the name designated to me at birth." A frown marred her young features, giving her the appearance of someone much older than her nine years. Her eyes were haunted as if they had seen too much, which they probably had. "I wanted my mommy. But she wasn't there. The only people I saw day in and out were these strange men who forced me to address them as Dad and Daddy. I could not understand why they did this because my mom told me about my real father."

Dr. Thompson listened to the heartbreaking tale of this young girl. She was stricken by everything the girl suffered through at the hand of monsters. What was the point in abducting a child if you only wanted to hurt her and break her spirit. If there was one thing she was positive, they succeeded in crushing part of this girl's spirit. Much of her innocence was lost because of the actions of the two men and their accomplices.

"I was whipped if I displeased them." She admitted. The room descended into silence with that.

The older woman gained her composure and prepared herself for the arduous task ahead of her. There was much that Rachel needed to in order to progress, but she was well on her way in the process. The first step was to come to terms with everything that happened. While the girl relayed the first part of her story, there was much more that awaited to be told.

"Rachel, I want you to honestly tell me how it made you feel when you realized your mother wasn't going to save you." Dr. Thompson was aware that much of her anger was not only directed at the two men but at her mother. Was it not a mother's duty to protect her child, and yet in the eyes of Rachel, her mother failed. Her mother did not save her from the fate that befell her.

Rachel still had a child's way of approaching things. Her mind was still in the process of transitioning between concrete thought to abstract thought. She could not quite grasp what others were feeling. She was bright, but still had a long way before she could be empathetic. In theory, she understood the grief her mother suffered from in the years following her kidnapping. However, there was a difference in knowing something and actually understanding her mother's view of things.

The young girl gritted her teeth. Her lips mashed together angrily as she considered her emotions. "I'm angry." She finally said. "I-I hold blame for her. If I had a more attentive babysitter, or if she had gone with me that day, none of this would've happened. A part of me hates her because the only thing she did was cry. I was beaten until I was black and blue. My back was whipped raw. There were days were I could not move and remained curled in a ball. I broke legs, arms, fingers, toes, I had a concussion." She pressed her palms to her eyes to prevent the doctor from spotting the tears. She was embarrassed about how emotional she had become.

"You are entitled to your feelings Rachel. Do not let anyone ever tell you differently." Dr. Thompson informed her young patient. It was important for the victims to know that they could feel however they like. There was no wrong or right way. "It was perfectly acceptable for you to be angry with your mother." She decided it was time for Rachel's first assignment. "I'm going to give you this notebook. We won't meet again until next week, and I want you to write about when you feel angry. It does not necessarily have to be related to your mother. The first thing we need to work on is you not being so angry anymore. So write about things that make you angry and we can work on triggers next time we meet."

Rachel hesitantly stood up and shuffled over. Her hand shook dangerously as she reached out to grab the notebook. There was still much wariness and uncertainty in her. She feared authority. The girl flinched as the doctor lifted her arm. "I'm not going to hurt you." She promised.

Rachel's eyes darted nervously to meet Dr. Thompson's. Whatever she was in the woman's eyes caused her to relax if only marginally. The red head would take progress wherever she could get it.

The young girl turned to the leave and paused uncertainly at the door. Her head turned slightly and murmured a wispy goodbye.

* * *

Rachel did not lift her eyes to meet warm, compassionate green ones. She hardly spared her mother a look as she stood in front of the woman. Shelby did not know what to make of her nine year old. Rachel was a mystery to her. While she displayed several of the stronger characteristics she remembered from Rachel's toddler years, there were obvious differences that were a result of her captivity and not age.

Her daughter was still tenacious, stubborn, strong willed, and single minded. However, she could also be hesitant, fearful of adults and strangers, and preferred silence to noise. It was hard to reconcile the image of her rambunctious three year old with the girl that stood before her. She wanted to throw her arms around her daughter and hold her like there was no tomorrow, but Rachel cringed away from touch.

It was like a switch had gone off in her brain after that day they spent together. She was subdued and spent periods of time in her room. Quinn collected Rachel's schoolwork, which she handed off to Lucas, who would bring it by when he had dinner with them. There was not much progress in that relationship either.

Rachel had at least stopped referring to him formally, and simply called him Lucas. He was not dad or daddy, and Shelby hated the heartbroken expression on his face. She knew it was hard on him, and deserved part of the blame in the situation they found themselves navigating. It wounded him every time Rachel rejected him, but she knew it her more when her daughter did the same to her.

She did not know what it would take to connect with her. The only person it seemed who did was the one refusing to talk.

Dr. Thompson smiled kindly as she waited in the doorway to talk to her. Shelby glanced at Rachel whose eyes remained downcast. It was a recent habit of hers. "I'll be right back." She kissed the girl's palm. Rachel nodded and took a seat in her mother's vacated chair.

"Rachel is making progress. For now just be patient with her. She will talk when she is ready. Do not push her, or she might close herself off more than she already has. Right not she is trying to process what she is feeling. She does not know herself, which is why you just need to let her come to you. If she had questions do your best to answer them." The older woman was sympathetic to the young mother in front of her. Shelby was in her late twenties, early thirties, and had to manage taking care of her daughter and her career. It could not be easy.

Shelby had expected the counselor would say as much. While she would love to get inside of Rachel's head, for now she knew that Rachel needed to the time to reflect on everything that happened to her. She needed to accept it, but not let it define her.

"Thank you for all that you're doing." She wasn't sure what else she could say.

"It is nothing. I want the same things you do for Rachel."

Shelby nodded and shook her hand.

* * *

The drive home was silent. She was accustomed to the silence, and it seemed that she would remain that way. Her eyes sought out her daughter in the rear view mirror. Rachel seemed in a world of her own making as her eyes held a far away look. She was lost inside her own mind, and her mother decided it was best not to bother her.

Rachel exited the car and brushed past her father as he got out of his car. Lucas arrived a few minutes before for dinner. Rachel did not extend a greeting to him, which was all too common. No one had breached the outer shell, let alone the inner shell. For Rachel receded into herself.

Part of her desperately wished to unload her burden onto another soul for it felt illuminating to speak to her counselor about it. But it was different because Dr. Thompson had the ability to remain impartial about the entire situation whereas her parents would be unable to. She didn't want to hurt their feelings, which she was aware she was by her constant refusal. She was a perceptive, precocious child, quite cognizant of her affect on others.

Dinner was her first step on a long road to recovery. She sat there inattentive as her parents attempted to make strained conversation at best. It was apparent to anyone who was well acquainted with both of her parents that they still held amorous feelings for one another, but were both too obstinate to get out of their own way. There were bitter feelings still clouding their judgment. Rachel personally felt they were stupid for not seeing what everyone else did.

Her fork scraped noisily across her plate as it did every night. She pushed her vegetables from one side to another. A bite or two made it to the inside of her mouth, but for the most part she did not eat. She sensed her parents' eyes on her, and felt uneasy with that knowledge.

She knew they did not mean her any harm. It was the opposite in fact, but she didn't know how to open up to them. They were trying. That should be what counts.

Silently, she counted to five as she mentally prepared herself with a deep breath. She felt the air flow through her, felt the contraction of her ribs, and slowly pushed the air back out. Her eyes gradually raised up and her hand unconsciously tightened on her fork.

_This is hard. I-I d-d-on't know if I can do this. _It was her father's earnest gaze that compelled her say something at last. He had never done anything to deserve her scorn. He knew nothing of her existence until she was gone, and yet spent the last six years of his life dedicated to searching for her. "I want to thank you." Her voice was still raspy from disuse. "I know it hasn't been easy with me not talking, but I ask that you remain patient for a little longer. I'm not ready to talk about things just yet. I can't." She exclaimed vehemently. Tears burned her eyes and she dismissed them with a swipe of her fingers.

Her parents gaped at her openly. Neither parents was prepared for her brief tirade. They felt the raw emotion behind her words, and despite what they wanted, they conceded to her wishes. She was their first priority. They could not afford to allow her to slip through the cracks, or she would be lost to them. They had to put aside their own pettiness for the well-being of their little girl. She was what was important.

"We can do that." Lucas replied tenderly. "Just know that we are here for you sweetheart." If there was one thing Rachel did know throughout this whole mess was that there were people. She just didn't know if she could trust people not to hurt as she was hurt in the past.

The Berry men had left visible and invisible scars. While she would always see where the visible ones marred her skin, they would heal. It was the invisible ones were the ones that ran deep. They infected her to the depths of her soul. They were the ones she would never be rid for as long as she lived. They could not ever fully heal. They inflicted their damage, and they did it well. They had done their job.

She only hoped one day she could heal part of what was broken.

* * *

**AN- I hoped you guys enjoyed it. Sorry again for the long wait. Thoughts on the chapter?**


	11. In the Night We Hide

**AN- This chapter has remained half complete for months, and I finally was at a place where I could write and it wasn't suffocating. It is a bit on the emotional side. Enjoy and I do not own Glee. **

* * *

Rachel stared curiously at her mother from the back of the car. Her mother's behavior was off after their last visit with Doctor Grace Thompson. That had been more than a week ago as the doctor was called out of town for a family emergency. She noticed how her mother observed her far more often, and rarely left her to her own devices. She had preferred the solitude, but it seemed that despite her best efforts, her mother was equally determined that she not be alone for longer than five minutes.

If her mother was not there, then Lucas was. For Shelby had to run the occasional errand, and was slowly working out arrangements to begin teaching once more. There was a current sub in, but her mother had to keep sending in lesson plans. She couldn't avoid work forever as bills needed to be paid. The school was fairly accommodating for the time being, and understood that with their current circumstances, her mother did not feel comfortable returning.

The little girl would preferably choose to return to school instead of pacing listlessly around the house. She felt confined to her quarters much like Sirius Black in the Order of the Phoenix. She would rather be outside where she could at the very least experience the world and converse with people she was not related to.

Unfortunately her doctor believed that for the time being, it was necessary that she remain at home. Her mental state showed signs of severe PTSD, and Dr. Thompson was worried that returning prematurely to school could set off one of her triggers. Rachel frowned displeased by that tidbit of information as she desired freedom above anything else. She did not care if she had a freak out moment or not.

Her eyes lingered on the form of her mother as she prepared lunch in the kitchen. She could not help but glare at the woman for she was embittered that once again her plans to attend school were thwarted. Although, that still did not inform her as to why her mother was acting bizarrely. She was too anxious to ask the woman upfront as past experience with asking too many questions led to less than desirable outcomes.

Her eyes darted to the door where she spotted Lucas waiting. A frown marred her young face as she wondered what he could possible be doing at their house. It was a Friday and usually he did not visit on those days. She slipped from her chair and made he way towards the door. She did not know if he had rung the doorbell or not as her mother had music blasting in the kitchen. She could barely hear her own thoughts.

Rachel unlatched the door and pulled it open to reveal her biological father. It was still hard to come to terms with all the information that was unloaded onto her two weeks before. It was a major adjustment for her to go from having almost no parents to two over attentive/protective parents. She understood their reasoning, but she missed having some semblance of a life.

The only person her age she interacted with was Quinn. While her cousin was lovely and occasionally fun to spend time with, she missed her other friends. Santana and Kurt were not aware of her current situation as Quinn was sworn to secrecy. No one knew the true story behind Rachel's absence from school. It also hadn't been pieced together that it correlated with a certain music teacher's disappearance either, which could be considered a positive. She wasn't sure she wanted the other kids knowing who her mother is, or they might assume she was receiving preferential treatment. She couldn't help it if she was far more talented than the rest of her peers.

Lucas grinned at his young daughter. His breath was still taken away every time he glanced at her for she was far more beautiful than he had imagined. While she resembled her mother a great deal, there were pieces of him in her. She was a reflection of the love her parents once shared.

"Hey squirt," he teased her and ruffled her hair a little. She huffed as she straightened her hair. "You're ridiculous." He chuckled softly. It was easy to rile her up much like her mother.

Rachel stared witheringly at him. She perfectly coiffed her hair every day even if no one but her parents and therapist would see it. Today she had a lace braid on one side of her head. She knew it saddened her mother that she was unable to style Rachel's hair, and part of her felt like asking her. She was too scared.

"What are you doing here?" She asked rudely and without greeting him.

Shelby heard her daughter from the kitchen and scowled. "Rachel that was impolite. Apologize to your father." The mother demanded immediately.

Rachel grimaced but complied with her mother's wishes. She was the child in this equation and unfortunately had to listen to her mother. "I'm sorry for my uncouth behavior. I should have said hello first and then asked."

Shelby rolled her eyes as she knew that was Rachel's version of an apology. They would have to work on her manners and her social skills. She was certainly lacking in that department.

Lucas hid his smirk behind a cough for his daughter was certainly a pistol. "To answer your question princess, your mother invited me over for lunch. I'm leaving in a few days to report back to base. I was on leave, but now I have to go back to Virginia for work."

The girl frowned unhappily, not liking this turn of events. While it was still somewhat awkward with him, they were on the path to building a relationship. However, if he had to return to the navy then it could be months before she would see him again. That did not appeal to her in the slightest. "When will you be back?" Her tone had softened considerably, and she could feel tears pool in her eyes.

Lucas stared down at her and felt his heart break. He hadn't realized how difficult this would be for either of them. Their relationship was still tentative at this point. "Sweetheart, please look at me." He gently cupped her face and tilted her head up. "I'm actually on my way out. I have two weeks left, and then I will be back. I could never leave you. If you'd like I can call you everyday." He was hoping she would agree to this arrangement. He would miss her voice and fiery personality.

Rachel pursed her lips as she considered his proposition. She had become accustomed to his presence in her life, and to not see him for two weeks was asking a lot of her. "I suppose I can agree to that. Are you sure you won't get tired of calling though?"

It was times like these when he was reminded of how vulnerable she was. Those monsters had done a number on her. She was timid and unsure majority of the time. It was new to all of them and they were discovering different aspects of their relationship all the time. It was hardest on her as she was only a child and didn't need people constantly shuffling in and out of her life at the moment. She required stability.

He kneeled before her. The pads of his fingers gently brushed her cheek where tears had spilled. "Rach, you are the one person in my life who means more to me than anything. I thought I had lost my chance to know you, and now that we are finally together, nothing will keep us apart. I love seeing your face. It brightens my whole day."

Her face brightened and he felt as if the whole room had lightened up just for him. "I mean that much?"

He pulled her small body into his strong, muscled arms and cradled her to his chest. "Oh baby you are everything." Rachel felt the release of her tears and she cried into his chest. Her arms tightened around his neck. She knew where he belonged in her life. The piece that didn't seem to fit in the beginning now had a place next to the other big piece.

"Thank you Daddy," she murmured, not much louder than a sigh.

Shelby watched from the entrance to the kitchen and her heart clenched at the beautiful sight before her. She never imagined that such a day could make her so weepy and emotional, but watching father and daughter connect for the first time was simply spectacular. She left them alone to finish their moment, while she finished up lunch.

Fifteen minutes later, the three were settled around the kitchen table. Rachel felt weird vibes radiating off both of her parents. Her curiosity was piqued. Something big was about to happen. She could sense it.

Shelby and Lucas exchanged a conversation with their eyes conveying what it was they were about to discuss. This was a family discussion, and as parents to their daughter, it required a united parental front.

"Honey," Rachel's head snapped up and she glanced between her parents. "Your father and I have realized that you've become restless being cooped up in the house all the time. We've discussed it with your therapist, and she agrees that perhaps it is time you spend some time with your friends. Your Aunt Judy informed me that Quinn was hosting a slumber party tonight, and that you are welcome. We thought it would be a good idea if you attended and accepted the invitation on your behalf."

The young girl gaped at her two parents. Her mouth opened and closed several times as she tried to figure out an appropriate response. A part of her was angry with her parents for accepting without discussing it with her first. She would've appreciated having some say in the matter. Another part rejoiced in the opportunity to get out of the house and spend time with her friends. However, a sliver of doubt persisted in the back of her head. It was the part of her that was terrified to leave her mother. What if she were kidnapped again? All sorts of possibilities ran rampant through her young brain that she could hardly keep up.

She bit her lip as she decided on her course for action. "Can I call you if I get scared?" She was going to do it. She couldn't remain afraid to leave for the rest of her life. How would she get to New York City if she acted like a baby at the prospect of spending time away from her mother.

Shelby smiled, pleased with her daughter. "Yes sweetheart, and you can call right before bed. I will only be a phone call away. If you want to come home, I will pick you up."

They talked out all the details and after lunch Rachel was sent to her room to pack. She vibrated with excitement as she sat in the back of her mom's Range Rover later that afternoon. She had never gone to a slumber party before. Before she moved, Quinn had invited her tons of times, but it was always met with a firm no. She hated having to refuse, but times were changing.

* * *

Rachel shifted uneasily as she came out of the bathroom in her pajamas. This would be the first night she spent away from her mother since having found her again. She was nervous to say the least.

"Cute pjs." Quinn commented once she caught sight of her newfound cousin. She sensed Rachel's uneasiness through her body language. Quinn didn't want her to uncomfortable.

The brunette glanced down and smiled. They were her favorite. The bottoms were rainbow colored shorts with polka dots. The shirt was a black tank with a rainbow and glittery lettering that said 'Eat Sleep Dance Repeat'. That was generally her life. She spent much of her time dancing with a four hour voice lesson every Saturday with her mother followed by more dancing. That was the one thing her mother and doctors agreed she could still do. She had private lessons with her instructor. She loved the freedom of dancing and using her body, not her voice to express herself. Her voice had failed her in many ways, and she found herself less interested in people hearing her perform.

"Thanks," she muttered, her cheeks reddening.

Quinn rolled her eyes at Rachel's awkward behavior. "Come on, my mom ordered pizza and San should be here soon. I even invited Brittany so you can meet her." Quinn grabbed Rachel's wrist and dragged her down the stairs.

Rachel chewed on her nails anxiously as every few minutes she peered over her shoulder to glance at the door. It would be the first time she had seen Santana in a month. Her mom was considering pulling her out of school and homeschooling her. However, Santana also had cheerleading and clarinet lessons that her mother forced her into.

There was never enough time to arrange anything. Rachel's only source of friendship came from her cousin. She rarely saw Quinn as it was with all of her appointments. She received counseling twice a week. She visited with a nutritionist/dietician every two weeks. Her pediatrician brought her up to date with her shots, and oversaw the rest of the healing process. The most embarrassing was when she visited a development specialist since her body suffered from malnutrition. Then there were her dance lessons.

Her parents and the specialist discussed ways to help her gain weight, which was the main priority in making sure she would hit puberty. There wasn't any right age, but they said that if she was still behind by the time she turned fifteen, they would discuss it then. At the moment, it wasn't a huge deal since she wasn't even ten yet.

"Geez Rach, what is wrong with you?" Quinn asked annoyed. She had been dealing with this since Rachel was dropped off a few hours before. The girl wouldn't talk except for a few words here and there.

Rachel's eyes darted over to where her cousin sat with her arms crossed. "N-nothing, I'm fine."

Quinn almost rolled her eyes at the obvious lie. Clearly Rachel wasn't fine at all if she was acting so weird. "I'm not stupid." The blonde muttered irritably. Rachel was starting to get on her nerves with her vague responses.

"No one said you were." Rachel retorted with a touch of annoyance lacing her tone. "God not everything is about you." She sniped. She was tired of her cousin complaining all the time.

"Excuse me?" She lifted an eyebrow at the brunette.

Rachel stood up angrily with her hands on her hips. "I said not everything is about you." She reiterated for the blonde as if she were talking to someone who was hard at hearing.

"Yeah well the only reason you're here is cause I felt sorry for you. You don't have anyone because everyone thinks you're a freak. I mean what kind of person doesn't hate the people who abused them?" Dark hazel eyes widened and then slowly filled with tears. "Wait… Rachel I didn't mean that." But it was too late, Rachel ran out of the house before Quinn could catch her. She just knew she was going to be in trouble for running her mouth once again.

"What's going on in here?" Judy asked as she descended the stairs.

Frantic green eyes connected with worried blue ones. "Mommy," she cried. "Rachel just left. I- I d-d-"

"Where did she go?" Judy grabbed her phone and began scrolling.

"We had a fight and we weren't nice to each other." She wasn't about to admit to her mother what she said to her younger cousin. She was rather ashamed about what she said.

* * *

Rachel didn't know where she was going. She just ran as fast as her legs could carry her. It took her a few seconds to process her surroundings, but it was the park a few blocks over from the Fabrays. She and Quinn used to play there a lot when they were children.

She shivered at the bitter sting of the cold against her legs. Rachel didn't want to go back to the house and climbed into the tube slide. No one would think to look for her there, and the tube would keep most of the could from hitting her.

_Ben, the two of us need look no more_

_We both found what we were looking for_

_With a friend to call my own_

_I'll never be alone_

_And you my friend will see_

_You've got a friend in me_

_(You've got a friend in me) _

Tears dripped down her cheeks without permission, but she kept singing. She thought Quinn understood, but maybe she was like everyone else. She judged her and thought she was a freak. Was it wrong not to hate Hiram and LeRoy?

_Ben, you're always running here and there_

_You feel you're not wanted anywhere_

_If you ever look behind_

_And don't like what you find_

_There's something you should know_

_You've got a place to go_

She wanted her mom, but how was she going to call her? Besides she would undoubtedly be in trouble if she returned. Her mom and by extension Lucas were the only ones who understood and never judged her. They listened when she offered anything, and their eyes were full of love and acceptance. They never told her to be sorry for her feelings. They were her safe place.

_I used to say "I" and "me"_

_Now it's "us", now it's "we"_

_I used to say "I" and "me"_

_Now it's "us", now it's "we"_

Sometimes it still felt like she was the pronouns "I" and "me" in regards to her friends. They treated her with kids gloves. Whenever Santana talked to her on the phone, there seemed to be this distance between them that wasn't there before. Quinn followed her around everywhere when they left either of their houses. Her eyes continuously lingered on her as if she feared something would happen if they were God forbid more than a foot apart.

_Ben, most people would turn you away_

_I don't listen to a word they say_

_They don't see you as I do_

_I wish they would try to_

_I'm sure they'd think again_

_If they had a friend like Ben_

She always wanted a friend like Ben. Ben understood and he protected. Rachel looked up the song and movie, and while she would never go through the measures that Ben the rat had, she knew the boy was protecting his friend. He was being a good friend. He listened and kept his spirits high.

She couldn't go back to her aunt's house. She knew her mother would ground her until the end of time. She didn't want to be in trouble. It was hard not to let her temper take over. There were so many emotions coursing through her at any given moment, and while she knew there were better ways to handle the situation, fighting was certainly the easiest.

With her knees pressed to her chest, she shivered as she felt the night air chilling around her. She had really messed up this time. She buried her face in her knees and cried.

* * *

**AN- Poor Rach, doesn't know what she's feeling. She's alone and scared. Thoughts?**


	12. A Light in the Dark

**AN- I know you guys are disappointed that i cannot update more often, but I'm trying for at least once a month. Things are really busy. I'm currently on spring break, so I'll try to write the chapters for the next few months because my free time is about to become more limited than it already is. I want to thank all of you for reading though, without you guys, I would've lost my motivation a longtime ago. Now onto the story.**

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"_Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." _

― _**Marianne Williamson**_

"_I don't trust anybody. Not anybody. And the more that I care about someone, the more sure I am they're going to get tired of me and take off." _

― _**Rainbow Rowell**_

* * *

Her sobs soon turned to sniffles. She shivered as the cold seeped into her bones. She supposed the only way it could get worse was if it rained. That's how it happened in all the stories. Hadn't Fantine suffered through the cold, cruel, bitter winter? It was a punishment for her sins. She lived on the outskirts of the city, and resorted to prostitution, selling her teeth, and eventually her lovely hair. No one cared enough about her to save her until it was too late.

The slide blocked out much of the sting of the wind, but she knew that she would have to go back. Her mother was probably going out of her mind with worry. She didn't know how her father would react. She supposed he might be the disciplinarian more so than her mother had been. He was a military man after all. And she had to get her temper from somewhere after all, and her mother wasn't exactly a hotheaded woman.

Soft footfalls met her ears. Her stomach bubbled anxiously because most people were never out this late at night. What if it was someone else who would take her away? She clutched her legs tighter as she silently wept into her legs. This was what she deserved for her impulsive behavior. She was going to die here. She would never see her mother or her father again. She squeezed her eyes shut and braced herself for the inevitable.

"Whatcha doin?" It was a much younger voice than she anticipated. A head popped into the entrance of the slide.

A teenage girl, probably around Frannie's age smiled at her. She had dark red hair from what Rachel could tell. The lighting was poor in the park at this time of night. She was also pale, paler than her cousin and aunt. Her skin glowed in the moonlight, and it fascinated the younger girl.

She whimpered. "I-I guess I ran away." The older girl frowned, clearly displeased with that answer.

"What for?" She questioned. She took a seat at the base of the slide.

Rachel didn't have a response. What was she supposed to say? She fought with her cousin and without thinking ran off and she didn't even have shoes. The older girl would think she was stupid. "It's nothing." She mumbled, averting her eyes.

The older girl slid herself into the slide and Rachel followed her with her eyes. "I ran away once. The police brought me back. I hated my stepmom."

Rachel met her eyes. "What happened?"

"Well when they returned me, my stepmom cried tears of joy. I couldn't believe her reaction. I thought she hated me. She hugged me and kissed me over and over. She thanked the police profusely. I thought she was putting on a show, but she wasn't."

"I got into a fight my cousin." She admitted to this strange girl. "She said something I didn't like, and without thinking I ran off. We rarely fight, but we have differing opinions on many subjects. Her opinion hit a little too close to home."

The girl hummed softly. There was something quite soothing about her presence that Rachel didn't feel closed up about talking to her. She was an outsider, and had no idea about her story. She didn't feel obligated to open up. "Why did you come here?"

She let out a long, bereft sigh. "I suppose because when we were children we spent many days playing here. I never had to question my place in the world when I was here. Everything made sense back then, but now it is all so confusing. She wasn't my cousin back then, well she was, but we didn't know it. She was just someone I met at school. Now I've got all this familial baggage and history, and I'm not sure how to handle it. It is far more complicated than someone my age should be able to deal with." The girl listened intently, and Rachel appreciated it. She loved an attentive audience. "I have all these confusing feelings coursing through me at any given moment, but I am unable to define them. They confuse me. I love my parents, but at the same time they can't understand. I know they want to."

The girl was leg to leg with her by this point. "Why don't you start at the beginning?" She suggested. So Rachel did. She told her about her earliest memories, the day she was kidnapped, the time spent in the closet, all of the injuries, everything she had suffered, and then the day it all changed.

It took about thirty minutes to relay the gist of the story. "Quinn often says things she doesn't mean. I guess we are similar in that way. It must be a family trait. We both are stubborn, are very set in our ways, and we have tempers. It does not make for a good combination. We used to go head to head all the time when we were younger. She tried to compete with me musically, but she lacks the talent and drive. She has a decent voice on a good day, but don't tell her I said that." The older girl, which she had still yet to glean the name of, chuckled. It was light and airy. Rachel was mesmerized by the sound.

"It sounds to me that a great deal of what was said should not have been spoken. Obviously your cousin feels remorse if she apologized quickly, however it was wrong of her to throw your experiences in your face. If you are capable of that kind of forgiveness, than good on you. Most people can hardly fathom apologizing when they are wrong. You are strong in your conviction that everyone deserves forgiveness. I admire that. You're ahead of pretty much most of humanity." She bumped their shoulders lightly. "By the way, my name is Juliana. But you can call me Julie. Sorry I forgot to mention that earlier. Now why don't you tell me your mom's phone number. I'm sure she is worried from what you've told me."

A strange noise escaped her throat as she had almost forgotten about her mother's reaction in all of this. _What would she say? Is she angry with me? _These thoughts troubled her, but she knew her mother was probably more than a little worried. They had probably called the police by this point, which was not good at all. "I actually think it would be better if I go back to my aunt's house. They might've called the police because of everything that has happened."

"Good idea, I'll walk you back. Kids shouldn't be alone in the dark."

Rachel lifted her eyebrow. "What would you classify yourself as then?" She asked because her mother told her teenagers were still children.

"I'm sixteen not nine Rachel. I have a cellphone. If I am in trouble, I can easily call for help. You are a nine year old who was just returned to her family a month ago. Your mother is probably going out of her mind right now." Rachel conceded defeat.

They walked back to the Fabray residence. She clutched at Julie's hand nervously. She hoped she hadn't caused too much trouble. What if they decided she wasn't worth the effort of keeping around? These thoughts tormented her and persistently reappeared when she tried to push them away.

As they walked up the street on which her family resided, she saw her mother's car in the driveway. Her face paled at the confrontation that was sure to happen when she appeared in the doorway. Her eyes glanced toward her new friend. She didn't want her to view what was going to be her complete humiliation. Her mother would tell her she didn't want her, and that she was "a no good bastard child." No one would ever love her. The scenario played out in her head, and she began to slowly shake.

Tears fell from her eyes without much work on her part. She did not want to work herself up into a frenzy, but she was well on her way to it. It was hard trying to calm her nerves. The fear continued to live inside of her. It festered and ate away at her on a constant basis. She told no one about her deep seated fears of abandonment. She did not want anyone to know the shame she bore. How could someone love her unconditionally when she did not love herself?

Her life was reflected in this quote by Debasish Mridha, "if you can't love yourself, how can you love others? If you can't forgive yourself, how can you forgive others?" She supposed much of her fear originated from her inability to absolve herself of her guilt. Dr. Thompson told her that she should not blame herself for what happened to her, but she disagreed with the woman. She could've done something several times, but she did not.

She stayed. Didn't that make the difference? It said something about her. She was weak, pathetic, and a waste of breath. Why her parents constantly worried over her when she barely spared a thought for herself was beyond her. She could not fathom their unending love for her. They loved her unequivocally and irrevocably.

Rachel loved them deeply, but she was not sure her own love for her parents could match their love for her. That bothered her.

She tugged on Julie's hand to get the girl to pause. Julie glanced down at her new little friend. A smiled tugged at the corner of her lips. "Will you continue to speak to me after tonight?"

Julie loved how adult-like this girl talked. It amused her that such a small person knew how to have a proper conversation. "Yes, Rachel. I will be your friend. We all need friends you know, and one of the best things you could ever do for a friend is to forgive them. When you extend an olive branch, you not only help them but help yourself. I know it hurts when they say things that hurt you, and they remain unaware of the impact. However, it hurts more when you refuse to offer them forgiveness and to give them an opportunity to apologize. From the sound of it, it sounds as if Quinn was sorry for what she said. It is important to be aware that people have a hard time empathizing with others especially many children. It can be difficult to attempt to put yourself in the shoes of someone else, but in a situation such as yourself, the only benefit you will get is perhaps talking to children like yourself. Quinn while she may be compassionate and understanding for the most part, she is unable to truly consider things that she cannot directly relate to."

A frown formed immediately on her lips as they started to once again make their way towards the Fabray house. Julie sent her a smile as she rang the doorbell. Rachel hid part of herself behind the older girl as she had no idea what to expect on the other side. The door opened and before she was aware of what was happening, she was swept up in the arms of her mother.

"C-can't breathe, m-ommy," Shelby released her daughter. She looked the little girl over, but she seemed to be in perfect health. Her eyes darted over to the young teenage girl who brought her daughter back.

There was a questioning gleam in her green eyes. "Hi, I'm Shelby Corcoran." She held out her hand, although she was still kneeling before her daughter.

Julie shrugged and shook the older woman's hand. She had an easy-going countenance about her, and it was hard not to accept her. She understood where Rachel had the ability to steal someone's heart with her warm and friendly demeanor. "I'm Julie Warren. I live a couple of blocks from here. I found Rachel, and I wanted to make sure she arrived back safely."

Shelby's eyes shifted from one girl to the other as she knew there was more to the story than either was admitting to. She shrugged as she knew eventually the whole story would unfold itself. She had a feeling that this was not the last time she would be seeing Julie Warren.

Julie scuffed her shoe against the pavement. "I better get going. I'll see ya around Rach." She patted the younger girl's head.

Rachel beamed in return and waved goodbye to her new friend. Julie was different from anyone she knew, and it was what caused her walls to fall down while in the presence of her. Her company was quite soothing and she remained uncritical and impassive. She provided Rachel with something she did not even know she needed. She merely listened without interrupting once to offer opinion on the matter.

She hoped that she would get to see Julie again. It was kind of cool to have an older friend, and someone who was impartial to her entire situation. She had nothing to gain or lose. It was the best hour she had in weeks. There was no additional pressure to bare her soul, or to receive advice she was nearly positive she could not apply to her life. Dr. Thompson tried, but Rachel was not ready to completely let go of her past. Perhaps it was what was holding her back in her recovery, but she could not help but flinch every time a door slammed. She curled into the fetal position whenever a shadow passed over her. At dinner time she barely ate because her body was not used to eating regularly. Lucas sometimes still made her uneasy with his presence, but their relationship was improving.

Shelby led Rachel by the shoulders to the kitchen where her aunt and uncle were seated at the table with a police officer. It was a female. She sent Rachel a tiny grin which the young girl returned. "Well looks like you've been found Miss Corcoran." She said as she pushed herself out of her seat. "I would like to caution you against doing something like this in the future. While the crime rate in Lima is quite low, that does not mean that there are not predators out there waiting to capitalize on the vulnerability of a young child such as yourself."

"I promise I will not go out at night again by myself." Rachel meant it too. It was terrifying. She did not enjoy the paranoia that came from being outside by yourself at night. It was worse than being home alone.

"Well y'all have a good night." She let herself out.

Russell and Judy each hugged Rachel tightly. The girl said nothing as she knew they needed to feel the warmth of her body to know that she was there and breathing. There was a sudden pang in her heart as it hit her that not only did she worry her mother, but her aunt and uncle as well. She behaved irrationally and childishly. It was asinine of her to do something as foolhardy as leaving the protected house of her family at night.

She bid them goodbye. Quinn was in her room with Santana and Brittany, but her mother understood her reasoning for not wanting to talk with the other girl for departing. She wasn't as ready as she wanted to be to forgive. While absolving Quinn of her wrongdoings in the past was more than simple, they were much older now. She could not stand for that type of aggressive behavior as it reminded her of the Quinn that was a bully. She hated bullies.

"Honey, your dad wants to talk to you. Then I want you to go change, and before you go to bed, we are going to have a chat." Rachel tearfully nodded her head, knowing that protesting would not be in her best interest at the moment.

She climbed the stairs to her bedroom. The girl picked the phone off of the table in the hallway and began dialing her father's familiar number. He picked up on the second ring. "Hello? Shelby? Is Rachel alright?"

The young girl breathed a sigh of relief. It was comforting to know how worried he was about her. "L-Daddy?" It was title she had not bestowed upon anyone, but if anyone deserved it, it was him. He never once pushed her, and allowed her to come to him when she was ready. Yet he showed her love daily.

His breath caught. She knew that she caught him off guard. It was unexpected and he needed a moment to collect himself. "Baby, I'm so glad you are safe." His voice was a soft caress in her ear. "Please never, no matter how upset you are, run off like that again. I just about had a heart attack when your aunt called me. I don't know what I would do if I lost you."

Rachel felt shame rise up in her chest once more. It was pressing in on her. There were so many people she had hurt with her rash actions. "I truly am sorry for worrying everyone. I guess whenever I am overwhelmed with a situation, my first instinct is to run away instead of tackling a situation head on. It is easier than dealing with the problems I leave behind." She knew her father could empathize with that.

"Rachel," he sighed. "I know it will sound awfully hypocritical of me to advise you on this topic as I am quite skilled at running away as well, which is probably where you got it, but it is only a temporary solution. Your problem will continue to be there when you eventually return, and sometimes it is impossible to fix. Don't let your problems become unfixable." Though she was just nine years of age, she knew enough about adults to understand that he was referring to his current situation with her mother.

"She's not as unattainable as you may believe. She's still hurt, but she definitely still love you. I see it in her eyes whenever she glances at you when she thinks that no one is looking. It's in the way that she makes extra food if there's the slightest possibility you might come over for lunch or dinner. She loves you."

It was silent on the other end of the receiver. Rachel would have thought he hung up on her if not for the soft breathing. "I don't want you meddling with this princess. Your mother and I need to fix this for ourselves, and it is not the responsibility of our nine year old." Rachel hoped they did fix it in the future. "I love you. Call me tomorrow night. Good night sweetheart."

"I love you too dad." She whispered with as much emotion as she could muster into those five words.

She changed her pajamas as her mother asked. When she completed that task, she took a seat on the edge of her bed and waited for the arrival of her mom. She knew that this talk was a longtime coming.

* * *

**AN- Rachel and Shelby's talk will be in the next chapter. We will definitely see Julie in the future. Thoughts?**


	13. A Chat in the Night

**AN- I suck. I know. I'm so sorry. Everything just caught up with me after spring break. And currently I'm sill trying to get over jet lag, which is the reason for this late post. I can't make any promises on when I'll post again, but at least a few chapters this summer. **

* * *

"_If you build the guts to do something, anything, then you better save enough to face the consequences." _

― _Criss Jami_

"_Running, you should know, is a kind of stillness." _

― _Tiphanie Yanique_

"_Running away was easy; not knowing what to do next was the hard part." _

― _Glenda Millard_

"_Forgiveness has nothing to do with absolving a criminal of his crime. It has everything to do with relieving oneself of the burden of being a victim-letting go of the pain and transforming oneself from victim to survivor." _

― _C.R. Strahan_

* * *

For being only nine years of age, Rachel was not as naïve as most adults assumed children were. Her innocence had been stripped at such an early age, and before she had the opportunity to grasp it, it slipped through her fingers.

In the important ways, she still attained her status of child. There were beliefs that she held onto that adults would consider childlike such as her theory that her toys came to alive when she left her room. Her mother always chuckled when she persistently insisted that it was true. Her hands normally ended up on her hips as she stared up incredulously at her mother and exclaimed that "the fact that you haven't seen it does not prove it invalid." She informed her mother she could not catch them on video because they would know and stay put. It was a secret.

There were many characteristics that she possessed that put her in the category of child. One of them was her tendency to not think situations through, which often landed her into trouble with her mother. Throughout the last month or however long it had been since they discovered one another again, Rachel had to adjust to having a parent take an active status and punishing her for her wrongdoings and not perceived wrongdoings.

Lucas had punished her once and then apologized thereafter. Honestly, the shocked expression on her face came more from him actually adapting a parent role than him punishing her. She hadn't expected it, but it was well deserved. In all fairness, he told her mother about it afterwards. He wanted assurance that he hadn't gone too far.

As she sat there on the edge of her bed, Rachel considered all of the ways that made her a kid. Kids were guided by their parents. Parents talked to their children when something became a problem. That was what her mother was doing. She was stepping up to the plate because Rachel had knowingly put herself in danger. She was nine after all and knew how dangerous it was to be outside at night.

Whatever her mother was preparing herself to say would be justified. Rachel craved stability, and her mother was off to quite the start. She informed her daughter of all the rules and the subsequent consequences if said rules were to be broken.

The young brunette decided to wait for her mother. Her back straightened and her eyes stared straight ahead when a knuckles softly tapped on the door. "Come in," she croaked. The tears had come earlier.

Shelby entered to find her daughter ready and alert for this discussion that had been a longtime coming. Her therapist and her daughter's therapist told her previously that she might want to consider having a discussion with her daughter about some of Rachel's habits. She had put it off, naively believing that the problems would be solved on their own.

Of course with Rachel, it was par for the course that nothing ever went as she intended. Not to say that was a bad thing as she enjoyed the spontaneity that came with being her daughter's mother. Her little girl certainly kept her on her toes wondering just what would happen next.

She took a seat on Rachel's desk chair and rolled herself so that she was directly in front of the girl. Rachel's eyes stared blankly at the door. Shelby snapped her fingers to redirect attention and brown eyes focused on her. "Hi baby, are you ready?" She was met with a firm nod. "Honey, can we talk about why you left?"

Rachel swallowed roughly as she considered what to tell her mother. Obviously she could only tell her the truth, but the problem was with how to proceed. Where did she start? Had it all occurred a few hours before? It seemed quite crazy that things had exploded like that. "I guess it started after we changed into our pajamas. I've been a lot more introverted than usual. I'm trying to process everything, and I just don't talk as much as usual." Her eyes dropped to her lap. She didn't want it to seem as if she didn't appreciate all of the changes in her life as she most certainly did. It was disconcerting at times though. Every morning she still woke up confused about her surroundings until it all hit her.

"Quinn knows that things have happened, but no one tells her anything. She thinks that you, Aunt Judy and Uncle Russ, and even D-daddy all think she's stupid. I thought she was being kind of stuck up about the whole thing, and then she said she invited me over because she-" Tears pierced the corners of her eyes, and before she could brush them away, they fell down her cheeks. "She felt sorry for me." Her voice was small and soft.

Shelby had to strain her ears just to hear Rachel. "That is not true honey." She grabbed her daughter's hands in her own. "This whole situation has been an adjustment for everyone involved including Quinn, and her mom says that she's going through a mean girl phase at the moment. She's not the same person you remember." Rachel frowned. "That's not to say that what she said was acceptable because it wasn't. No one should be able to make another person feel bad about themselves." She gently tipped her daughter's head so that she could make eye contact. "Baby bird, what Quinn said was horrible. But she's ten. Ten year olds, teenagers, and even adults say horrible things all the time. For the next several years, it is going to be like that."

Rachel nodded imperceptibly. She had seen the movie _Mean Girls_, but she assumed that had some more time before she had to worry about that sort of callous behavior. However, it did make sense that it developed around this age. "It hurts." She admitted, lowering her eyes once more. "Quinn was the first friend I ever made. I thought if anyone could understand it would be her. Maybe she's right and I am a freak."

Shelby felt her heart crack as she listened to her nine year talk about herself in a self-deprecating manner. She had no idea how Rachel felt because every time she tried to talk, the girl would clam up. There was possibly no one more stubborn on this earth. If Rachel didn't want to do something, she wasn't going to.

"You are not a freak." She assured her. "You are going through all sorts of changes in your life, and you won't be the only one who feels so lost. Part of it comes from being this age, and the other is because of your life experiences. Those don't define you though. What those men did to you, it doesn't stop you from being the incredible person that you are. Your dad and I love you more than anything. You will always have us."

Rachel sniffled. "Really?" Her tears had dried on her cheeks, but her mother's words touched her.

"Yes." Shelby replied, tucking a strand of thick, brown hair behind her daughter's ear. "For now, it is probably a good idea that you and Quinn spend some time apart." Rachel bit her lip to prevent herself from retorting to her mother's obvious statement. "Now I want to talk about your habit of running off. Do you know how dangerous it was what you did?" The girl nodded. "Then why did you do it? I was worried, so was your aunt and uncle. I can't lose you again, and that's what it felt like."

Truth be told, she only thought of her mother's feelings afterwards. In the moment, all she could think was that she had to get out of there. "Sometimes it's like this pressure is building. Everything I keep in wants to come out, and I just can't be there. I have to get away from everything." She was positive that she wasn't explaining the feeling properly, but she wasn't sure she would ever find the right words to do it justice.

Shelby took a few minutes to think about her response. She wanted to lay out all the cards on the table so that there were not any misunderstandings between her and her daughter. Their relationship seemed to be plagued with them already from a lack of communication with one another. It was a difficult situation all around as sometimes they both forgot that it had been a long six years.

"Okay, I get it. Rach you aren't the first one to feel that. Sometimes I feel that way too. The day they called and told me about you being kidnapped besides going down as one of the worst days of my life, it was also one of the first times I can remember actually wanting to leave my life behind. I wanted to crawl in a hole. After the first year, I did run. But running is worse for you in the end." She sighed heavily. It brought a heavy silence over the room.

Maybe this talk was as cathartic for her as it was Rachel. "It hurts to come back after taking a break. I left all of my responsibilities for a few days because I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't breathe. Everywhere I went, there were all these reminders of what I lost. The problem is that your problems are always there when you return. It works for a little while, but you realize that you are stuck. You stop moving forward and you remain the same. I couldn't put my life on pause. I had to learn to accept that when the time came, you would either return or not. If it didn't happen, it would still be devastating, but I couldn't let that cripple me."

Rachel had never realized how strong her mother was. It was easy to get caught up in her own problems and everything that happened to her that she often forgot that other people suffered too. Her mother had lost a child, and she believed that she wouldn't see her daughter again. She was like Pandora's Box. All she had left was hope once all the horrors were unleashed.

"I had to live my life. I rediscovered my faith because for a time I lost all my faith. I hated God for taking you away from me. It took me sometime, but God isn't an active participant. He creates us, but he puts us out into the world with free will. We have the choice to live our lives how we want. I learned to forgive. I had to. I forgave your kidnapper or I guess kidnappers."

"Quinn said there must be something wrong with me if I could forgive them for taking me." Doe eyes looked to green ones for a response of some kind.

Shelby squeezed her baby's hands. "Forgiveness means more than people give it credit for. It is constant. I forgive those men everyday for what they did to you, me, our family. I didn't come by that easily either. I had to learn what true forgiveness was. Forgiveness isn't happy, but messy and painful. It isn't this sudden epiphany that you gain that someone else was wrong or that you are the bigger person in a situation." She pressed her lips together as the memories flashed through her head. Many nights were spent clutching to her daughter's favorite blanket as she cried herself to sleep. She was so angry with God. She felt betrayed.

"I learned that it is a burden to not forgive someone. When you forgive people, you relieve yourself of all the pain you carry inside of you. You stop being the victim. You take control of the situation. You say I will not let this ruin me, you survive. I learned that the only person, sentient being or whatever that has the right to judge is God. It is his forgiveness that they should truly be seeking."

Rachel smacked her lips together in thought. "How did you do it? I mean I struggled myself. I didn't want to forgive them, but it took a lot out of me when I stayed angry." It was wearing on the soul to constantly be angry. Rachel learned that when she forgave them for each atrocity, she felt unburdened.

"I matured. When I became a mother, I grew up, but it was when you were gone that I went through a metamorphosis. I grew up. I realized what was important to me. I had to have hope despite the gravity of the situation. All the officers, detectives, agents," she waved her hand through the air to emphasize her point. "They all lost hope after the first few months. I could see it in their faces and eyes. They had seen many cases where the children were never recovered. They believed you would be like all those other children."

Rachel sort of agreed with their opinion. If not for a set of circumstances, she would have ended up never found. She wouldn't know the love that her mother and father give freely every day. She wouldn't have this wonderful life that at times seems overwhelmingly. "When Quinn said that to me, it stung. It is hard to forgive, but she made it seems as if it was easy for me. I didn't forgive them like that." She snapped her fingers. "I worked on it daily because it was hard for me to understand why they were doing that to me. Why it was me out of all the children in the world that was stuck with this life. I didn't understand it all. It became easy for me to run away at first. That's what I did in the beginning. It was worse then."

She remembered all those nights running to find somewhere to hide. Anywhere was better. She was ill suited to deal with her life. The confusion that overwhelmed her in the beginning was startling. She couldn't find her mom, and then there were these strangers claiming she never existed. It didn't make sense, and she had to get out.

"When you feel the need to run again, tell me or tell Dr. Thompson. There are all these people waiting to help in any way that they can. Don't bottle all of your problems until you feel as if you have to run away again. It never works. They are always there waiting for you when you return. And it is always worse to deal with them then than when they first appear." Rachel could admit in her head at least that her mother made a good point. "I know it is still confusing and we are settling into our life, but I promise that I will do everything I possibly can to help you."

Rachel threw her arms around her mom. No one had believed in her as much as this woman. She was willing to do anything for her, and it continued to surprise her each day. She wasn't throwing the towel in. "Thank you mommy." Shelby squeezed her daughter tighter and kissed her head.

"This talk is over for now, but rest assured sweetheart, we will continue to revisit it. I never want you to feel like that again, but it is an unfortunate side effect of life. For now though, it is time for bed." She grabbed Rachel in her arms and unceremoniously dumped her on her bed. The young girl glared up at her mother, but her lips held a teasing smile.

She crawled back to the top of her covers. Her mother held them open for her, and then carefully tucked her in. "Goodnight baby bird, have sweet dreams. I love you."

"I love you too." She definitely didn't mind how the night turned out because if she were at Quinn's, she wouldn't be here with her mom. Nothing could beat that. It felt good to get some stuff off her chest. It felt like progress.

* * *

**AN- Thoughts?**


	14. A Scream in the Dark

**AN- July went by very fast. I'm sorry that I was unable to update, but summer classes are seriously intense. Anyways here is the next chapter.**

* * *

"_You couldn't relive your life, skipping the awful parts, without losing what made it worthwhile. You had to accept it as a whole-like the world, or the person you loved." _

― _Stewart O'Nan_

"_To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow - this is a human offering that can border on miraculous." _

― _Elizabeth Gilbert_

"_I still get nightmares. In fact, I get them so often I should be used to them by now. I'm not. No one ever really gets used to nightmares." _

― _Mark Z. Danielewski_

* * *

It was an unseasonably warm night for the end of October, and a young mother was taking advantage of it. Her nine year old daughter was asleep in her bed after a long day of errands. Tomorrow was a busy day for both mother and daughter.

It would be the first time Rachel was introduced to her paternal grandparents, and she would be reunited with her relatives on her mother's side. It was to be a strange day for everyone all around as they were asked to not address the pink elephant in the room. It was at the request of both Shelby and Lucas as they wanted to ease Rachel into her family.

The stars shone brightly as it was the first clear night they had all week. It had rained most of the week, which was another reason it was uncharacteristically warm. It was much cooler throughout the week, but Shelby welcomed the frostier temperatures than the blazing warmth they experienced over the summer.

The week before she returned to school, and a tutor was hired for Rachel. They had switched to home schooling until at least the new semester. It was recommended by the school psychologist and Rachel's own therapist that the girl remain away from school to sort out everything.

While part of Shelby sympathized with her daughter's dissenting opinion, she felt compelled to agree with the professionals. Rachel might not be aware of it, but she was not ready for school.

To supplement her time that would be spent outside of the house, the tutor would take Rachel on a weekly fieldtrip. These excursions would not begin until Lucas returned from Virginia. It was taking a bit longer to sort out everything as he had to finalize the sale on his condo and pack up the remainder of his belongings. He also had some last minute paperwork to complete that held him up. They did not want Rachel leaving the house with someone other than them, especially after what occurred the last time they left her in someone's care.

It made all three of them anxious when Rachel wasn't in their care. Every time she left the house, Rachel clutched tightly to her hand, and refused to stray from her side. She attempted to address the situation with Rachel's therapist, but so far, no progress had been made in regards to that.

At this point in time, Rachel was looking for something stable that she could cling to, and Shelby presented something solid for her. She was searching for reassurance as she had accepted her situation, but had yet to truly process everything that was occurring in her life.

While her daughter's therapist seemed to be at the conclusion that she was doing everything she possibly could to make her daughter feel comfortable in her life, Shelby still felt as if she were failing her baby bird every day. Rachel suffered from night terrors, and as a result woke up in the night screaming as everything was a little too vivid for her young mind. The memories were stronger in her unconscious mind, and the night was when she felt the least safe.

Rachel recently developed the habit of hiding under the bed, and her mother found her several times clutching her legs tightly to her chest as she sobbed incoherently. Those men had done damage to her daughter through their years of abuse, and logically Shelby knew that it would take years to undue the physical and psychological abuse they subjected her daughter to. It was just that she was running low on sleep after all the times she woke up to her daughter screaming.

She wanted to be able to make everything go away like when Rachel was nothing more than a mere toddler, but her nightmares now were beyond monsters hiding under the bed. They were no longer imaginary, instead they were very much real.

They didn't hide under the bed anymore, yet while they were locked up, they weren't gone from Rachel's memories. She was haunted by them. Shelby suspected a part of her might always be. She was young, but she wasn't young enough where her memories would fade as children's tend to do.

The mother sighed as she sipped at her hot chocolate. Normally, she wouldn't indulge in the sweet, warm beverage so early into the season, but she required her own comfort to cope with the situation. She had weekly appointments with her own therapist to help her adjust to suddenly having her daughter back again and dealing with everything that entailed.

Lucas would begin his own therapy when he returned from Virginia, and then all three of them together would start family therapy twice a month to help them deal with their problems as a family. It was such a foreign concept for her to think of Lucas as her co-parent, because for those first three years, she relied primarily on herself for Rachel's well-being. Now there was this other person who loved her daughter, not that he wasn't entitled to love his little girl, but it hurt that Rachel spent a lot of time talking to him on the phone.

They skyped every other day as Lucas' schedule was still fairly busy, and Shelby wanted to be there to monitor everything. She didn't want her daughter to have some sort of meltdown as her babysitter wasn't equipped to handle that. Her and Lucas would discuss their options with regards to their daughter's daily care as a babysitter was only temporary.

They debated about whether or not to hire a nanny for the long term as Lucas had already found a job. The hours were flexible, but there were still days when he was required to be on site. They would have to ease Rachel into being around a new person, and at the moment, it was seeming rather unlikely.

She barely tolerated the babysitter, but Shelby had no other choice with that. She had to return to work, and Judy had too much on her plate to deal with than looking after Rachel.

"AHHHHHH! Stay away, please I promise I won't be bad." Shelby closed her eyes in pain at her child's fear before she set down her mug and rushed into the house.

Rachel thrashed around in her bed. Her sheets were half off the bed. Her body was drenched in sweat so much so that her hair was plastered to her face. Her eyes were squeezed tightly together as she placed her arms in front of her as if trying to fight off a blow. She was in defense mode. Shelby stayed back because she learned that Rachel could get quite physical when she was still in the throes of her dream.

"Rachel," she called loudly. "Baby, mommy is here. I need you to open your eyes. You are safe. I promise you that. Nothing is going to harm you. You are in your bed, and I am right here. I just need you to open your eyes for me." Slowly but surely, the little girl's body began to relax while her face remained tense.

Shelby approached her daughter's bed cautiously and then took a seat. She rubbed her daughter's arm soothingly. "Wake up, you can do it." Eyelashes began to flutter before her daughter's frightened gaze stared back at her. She pulled Rachel to chest as she rocked her side to side. Hesitantly, small arms wrapped themselves around her torso before sobs wracked the young girl's body. "You're okay. No one is going to hurt you while I'm around. It's okay. Let it all out."

It was another fifteen minutes before Rachel's whimpers quieted down and her arms were limp around Shelby's body. She delicately lowered the young girl back into bed. Rachel appeared much younger when she slept, which was saying something considering she barely appeared to be nine.

The creases in her face relaxed until she was nothing more than a little girl. It was hard for her to accept that Rachel would suffer from the occasional nightmare for the rest of her life, especially during times of high stress which could induce the potential for a nightmare.

Nothing about this was okay, but she supposed this was the reason why they were all actively talking to therapists about what was bothering them and their own fears. Shelby and Lucas often felt inadequate, and weren't sure what they were supposed to do. While Shelby had parented her daughter in the past, there was a vast difference between a three year old and an almost ten year old. She missed out on many of her daughter's firsts, and Lucas had missed out on everything entirely.

There was guilt to be shared between the two of them for all the decisions they made that led them to that moment. So many what ifs were thrown around, but in the end, there was no going back. They could only move forward.

It was a difficult transition to be made, and they were still in a transition if Shelby were honest. Constantly, she had to remind herself when reprimanding Rachel for her actions that she wasn't three. She was nine, and generally understood what it was that she had done to warrant her mother chastising her. She prevented herself from cutting up her food because Rachel had most of her permanent teeth barring a few exceptions. She was old enough not to accidently choke on her food because the bites were too big.

However, her worry was what led to her placing a phone call she ordinarily would never have made under normal circumstances. Nothing about this precarious situation she found herself in was normal. Maybe it never was.

"'Lo?" The tired voice over the phone answered.

Shelby smothered a smile. "It's me." She replied. There was some shuffling on the other end.

"Is everything alright? Why are you calling at…" There was a pause. "At two in the morning."

"What if I am screwing her up? She's this brilliant, resilient little girl who is capable of so much? Yet, she still screams in the night because of her invisible attackers. I already failed my job as her mother once."

He sighed on the other end. "Shelbs, there are so many what ifs in life. Every day we receive is a gift because we aren't guaranteed to have any. It is all luck that has led us here. Rachel is strong. She doesn't let anything hold her back, and while she has had setbacks in life. There is no reason to assume that she won't be a perfectly functioning adult in the future. She has so much potential and the talent to do whatever she sets her mind to." Shelby needed to hear the reassurance from him. No one else would quite understand her mode of thinking.

"You're right Lucas." The words tasted bitter on her tongue. It was not because of their dating history, but she hated being wrong.

His resounding chuckle let her know that he heard the distaste in her voice. "This is a stepping stone in her life. I would've preferred that she not know the horrors of the world this early on, but it is our experiences that define who we are. Without this, she wouldn't be the little girl we've fallen in love with. She could've been broken, but she's not. She found strength through her situation."

He went on and on listing all of the positive qualities of their daughter, and it warmed her heart to realize that he knew so much. "I suppose I wouldn't be nearly as attentive as I am now if I hadn't already lost her once."

"I don't know if I would've had the chance to love her, and to realize how empty my life was. While I spent a lot of time being angry with you, I spent just as much being angry with myself. I was the one who left."

"I pushed you out." She amended. She didn't want him to forget her part in this whole mess. She was unwilling to compromise.

He blew out a frustrated breath. "It is regardless. We both are at fault for the decisions we made ten years ago, and we have to live with what we have done. What ifs can be nice, but there are always possible negatives that could've resulted. We might have ended up resenting each other, or we could be blissfully happy. It is nice to think about, but in the end this is where we are." She hadn't noticed until the moment that as much as having Rachel changed her, it changed him as well. He wasn't that young immature boy trying to be a man.

"I'm sorry. I should've said that a long time ago. No matter what happened between us, I should have at the very least informed you that I was pregnant. It would've been your decision to do what you would've with the news. Instead I denied you the opportunity to love your daughter from the day she was born. And I denied our daughter the privilege of having her father." She was ready to accept her mistakes. She was progressing towards moving on from the past. She had to let it go or else it would continue to control her life.

"Please don't cry baby." He pleaded with her. "I'll be there soon, and we work together to do the best for our little girl." She believed him.

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**AN- Thoughts?**


	15. A Twinkle in the Light

**AN- Long time no see. I apologize. I'm not sure how many of you are aware, but at the moment all of my stories are on hiatus. I kind of update when I become inspired to write now. It's my senior year in college, and unfortunately that doesn't allow for much time where can I pursue other interests outside of academia. I promise I will finish this story though. There are about 10ish chapters left, and then a couple of one-shots. You guys are the best though. **

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_"When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching - they are your family. " ― **Jim Butcher**_

_"That's what people do who love you. They put their arms around you and love you when you're not so lovable." ― **Deb Caletti**_

_"Family isn't something that's supposed to be static, or set. People marry in, divorce out. They're born, they die. It's always evolving, turning into something else." _

_― **Sarah Dessen**_

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Rachel observed appearance for what seemed to be the thousandth time that day. Shelby had grown tired of watching her daughter grow more and more anxious with each return to the mirror. She simply decided to let the girl be as she knew when to pick her battles with the fiercely stubborn and opinionated child.

Rachel generally prided herself on not being vain, but this upcoming meeting had gotten the best of her nerves. Normally, she would tie her hair up in a ribbon or wear a hair band and then find something to match. Today was different from just any old day.

Today was a day of old and new. The old was figuratively as she didn't necessarily equate her grandparents with old people. While she was sure that they were somewhere in their fifties, she knew enough that it was something a person did not address in polite conversation. Technically she had met both sets of her grandparents. She knew her mother's when she was a toddler, and she had met her other set maybe once when she was really young.

However, formally she knew them as Quinn and Fran's grandparents. She met them on several occasions when she first lived there. They visited for the major holidays, and then sometimes when Quinn's parents went out of town on vacation. They always stared at her longer than what was deemed polite. For some odd reason it never bothered her, which was unusual as the stares of others made her feel self conscious.

She never understood why. Quinn claimed that grandparents were just weird like that and it was nothing to worry about. It always unsettled Rachel though as she couldn't figure out what there was worth staring at.

Now, Rachel supposed it related to her uncanny resemblance to her mother with a little bit of her father thrown in. They just didn't know to fully put it together that she was the missing child they all searched for. She was one of those children on the back of the milk.

"Come on Rachel, you look beautiful." Rachel shot her mother an irritated glare.

She rolled her eyes before turning back towards her reflection. "Parents are supposed to say that." She replied as if it were obvious.

Shelby pursed her lips as she stopped herself from saying what it was she wanted to. She had to be the adult in the situation, and she wouldn't fall prey to her daughter's not so subtle jibes. "Look, I may be your mother, but I don't have to tell you anything. I could tell you that you are the ugliest thing I have ever seen. Now while that it isn't true, I believe in an honesty policy. Trust me kiddo, in a few years you are going to wish I wasn't honest. You better enjoy it now." She eluded to the fact that in just a few short years, Rachel would be interested in recent trends and trying out different looks.

Shelby knew from experience that it always looked better when you experience it first hand. In hindsight though, yearbook photos and other mementos from adolescence don't make it through the passage of time unscathed. She certainly regretted many of her looks.

The nineties was the era of grunge. Her hair was greasy looking in many of the photos from that time. She wore Doc Martins, which had made a come back as everyone wanted combat boots these days and she couldn't forget about her beat up chucks. Jean shorts frayed at the ends and jeans with holes in them were her everyday go to items. And to top it off, the attitude she wore to pull the whole thing off. She shook her head as she was getting off track.

"Honey, you are a little girl. While I know you want to look nice, they are your family. They don't care if you have a couple of fly aways." She smoothed back her daughter's hair. "Your dad and I think you're perfect the way you are." She wanted Rachel to understand that while LeRoy and Hiram tried to change who she was at the core, she didn't have to for her parents.

Rachel stopped her fussing as she caught her mother's eyes. She saw the sincerity and love shining in the green orbs, and she knew then that she was being rather silly. Truly it only mattered to her what her parents thought, and they had certainly seen her at her worst on more than one occasion.

She bit her lip as she considered her reply. Her eyes unfocused for a second as she thought over her apology. "I'm sorry Mommy. I just want them to love me, but just because you have a nice appearance it doesn't mean you are a good person." That's what she really wanted in life. "I want them to like me because I am me."

Shelby beamed proudly at her nine year old daughter who was wise beyond her years. It was strange sometimes when she thought about how much the girl in front of her had to grow up in such a short amount of time to deal with the situation she found herself in. She didn't have anyone there looking out for her best interests, and while LeRoy indulged her while she resided with him in New York, that didn't stop terrible things from happening to her. She still suffered greatly. She was a resilient, amazing person that she was proud to call her daughter.

"You know I love you. I sometimes can't believe that such a wonderful person came from me." Rachel flushed at the compliment unused to such kind words being used to describe her. She had never had anyone be proud of her before. "I used to watch you while you slept, and I would worry that I would ruin you. I thought that I was being selfish by choosing to keep you. The moment the doctors held you up and then laid you on my chest, I just knew that I could never let you go. You were wanted from the very minute I found out about you." Filled with so much love for her daughter, she grabbed her into a tight hug.

At the initial contact, Rachel stiffened. She was in the process of becoming accustomed to such displays of affection. Shelby and Lucas were very expressive and affectionate, and they wanted to show her that. She was showered with hugs and kisses, and it was hard for her to accept such actions unexpectedly.

"Now let's go. We have grandparents to see." Shelby knew her own parents well enough to know that they were quickly becoming impatient at seeing their granddaughter again. They truly believed that the day would never come.

The Williams were her seconds parents, and she felt guilty that they never had the opportunity to actually know her daughter as their granddaughter. The decisions her and Judy had made years ago caused a sense of remorse whenever she faced them. They had not done anything to deserve what she had stripped them off. Instead they were wonderful in the aftermath of Lucas' departure. They sided with her despite the fact that he was their son.

She recalled in years prior how they regaled her with stories of Quinn and her best friend. They had never used her first name, only calling her a little diva. She captured their heart, and they always said she seemed vaguely familiar. It never occurred to them that she was the child they were searching for. Why would it? Everyone assumed that Rachel Corcoran was dead.

In the car, Rachel remained detached from everything occurring around her. If asked, she would not be able to name the song currently playing or naming the cities on the road signs. She was in her own world for that hour drive to Akron. It was strange that this was the city of her birth. Some of her earliest memories took place there.

An hour after getting into the car, they pulled up in front of a colonial style house. Shelby smiled at the sight of her childhood home. The tree that she had spent her childhood attempting to climb stood as proud as ever in the front yard. She pulled her car into the driveway.

The garage opened and the mother shook her head. She knew that her mother had lost what little patience she possessed and was ready to meet Rachel. She smiled fondly at the neat appearance of her mother. Her mother's blonde hair was pulled back into a slick ponytail. Her jeans and blouse were pressed. As a child, it frustrated her when her mother insisted on ironing all of her clothes. She and her sister thought it was absolutely ridiculous. They ran around like wild animals not caring for a moment if their clothes were neat and tidy.

Rachel threw open the door of the car at the moment Shelby put the car in park. The young girl ran straight into the arms of her nana. "Nana," she cried. Elizabeth Corcoran squeezed her granddaughter tightly.

She missed her Rachel. She pulled back to get a good look. "Oh my! Just look at you. You've gotten so big." Rachel beamed proudly. Who was she to deny this woman's claims? When compared to her classmates, she rarely stacked up height wise. She was the shortest out of the twenty kids in her class, which spoke volumes about her height deficiency.

"Well I am almost ten." She added for good measure.

Elizabeth became teary at the reminder of all the years they lost as a family. "Yes you certainly are." She wrapped an arm around the small girl's shoulders and guided her into the house.

Shelby rolled her eyes at her mother's behavior. It was as if she didn't exist.

"I heard you take dance lessons."

Rachel soaked up the attention. "I love dance class nana." Elizabeth choked back another sob. It had been so many years since she had heard Rachel call her nana. "I love ballet. Tap is fun too. I have some difficulty with hip-hop."

Inside Rachel stopped at the sight of all the people sitting on couches in the sitting room. There before her was her father. "Daddy!" She exclaimed, slamming right into him. Lucas held his daughter to him.

He was glad that he was able to return sooner than originally anticipated. It was the perfect way to surprise not only his daughter but her mother as well. "I've missed you so much Rach." He kissed her hair, inhaling the soft lavender scent of her shampoo.

The weeks apart seemed to disappear as father and daughter reunited with a hug. While before she remained quite hesitant about using the title of daddy in regards to Lucas, she had arrived at several conclusions in his absence. Her counselor/therapist, whatever helped her come to terms with why she felt uncomfortable using such terms.

The truth was however that the men she spent much of her life with were nothing to her. They never deserved the titles they bestowed upon themselves. It was this man currently in her presence that had done nothing but be patient with her that was her true father. He was the only father she ever needed or wanted.

Shelby held a hand to her mouth as unshed tears stung her eyes. She was expecting him in a few days, and prepared herself to face the firing squad by herself. Her feelings remained mixed as far as he was concerned. It certainly wasn't some unrequited love story as she was definitely irrevocably his. The problem was her unresolved issues with him. Family counseling would help with any residual problems.

She turned to greet Evan and Mary, and of course her own father. While she was always welcome at their house, she hadn't felt as comfortable visiting in recent years. It wasn't because they had any ill will towards her, but the overwhelming guilt she carried around with her. She felt like crap whenever she thought about how she kept one of their three grandchildren away from them.

They smiled at her and enveloped her into their arms. She had known them since she was three years old when she decided that a nine year old Judy was her best friend. She was later introduced to Lucas in preschool and then discovered his relationship to Judy.

"Shelby, look at you. You're so thin. Are you eating properly?" She felt all of fifteen again as Mary commented on her health. Between Mary and her own mother she could never get away with fad diets and over exercising. Lucas always told on her for her own good before she could cause herself any serious harm.

"Mary, I'm fine. I've been working out and I'm mostly on a vegetarian diet." She was aware that it was the incorrect thing to say.

The older woman narrowed her eyes. "That cannot be good for you. Are you receiving your daily amount of vitamins and minerals."

Before Shelby had an opportunity to defend herself, her own mother jumped in. "Since when are you a vegetarian? You should be adding meat to those bones of yours. You can't survive on a rabbit's diet."

Shelby spun around at the sound of snickers before her. Lucas and Rachel put hands to their chests as if to claim their own innocence.

Luckily her father saved her from the crazy mothers. "Now Elizabeth, Shelby is a grown woman. She is allowed to live the way she chooses. We've discussed how you can't control her life." Her mother sighed reluctantly. Shelby knew it wasn't the end of the conversation. It was just to get her father off her mother's back. "Now why don't we all sit and talk."

"Wow Poppy, you still have a commanding voice even now." If there was anyone she tried to avoid trouble with, it was her Poppy. He never spanked her, but when he reprimanded her for bad behavior, it left an impression.

Michael froze as the name left his granddaughter's lips. So many years had passed since he heard that. Rachel was the only one of his grandchildren to address him as such. "Yes Rachel, well someone has to stop the chaos." He directed that at the three women in the room.

"It is weird to meet you guys as my own grandparents. We've met previously, but it was not with this familial relationship we have now. I didn't know I had grandparents and now I have four." It mystified her how this was possible. Only months before, she saw no way out of the abusive living situation she found herself in, and now she had an entire family full of aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and best of all parents. It was Christmas come early, and it was by far than anything she ever asked for.

Evan smiled at the young girl before him. Whenever he visited Lima, and she happened to be around, his eyes never strayed too far from her. There was something about her that he could not quite determine. Of course now it made sense why there was this sense of familiarity.

She resembled her mother a fair bit, and she had hints of her father added in. The lighter tones of her hair, her eyes, and those odd shaped ears were signs he missed. He and his wife always knew there was something else there. "You've really sprung up since the last time we saw you." He was referring to when she was seven years old.

_He and his wife were watching their granddaughters for the week as his daughter and her husband went of vacation. He knew that as a parent there were times when you simply needed to reconnect with your spouse. _

_Quinn asked that morning if her little friend Rachel could come over later. They had met the girl on several occasions, and found her to be an absolute sweetheart. She could be quite timid in the presence of new people, and sometimes she shied away from the attention they heaped on her. _

_The girls played in the backyard. He heard their laughter. He watched as they swung on the swings, tossed a ball, played with dolls, and chased each other around. Then he heard the crying. He rushed outside and found Rachel clutching her knee. _

_He kneeled beside her to take a closer look. He was a pediatric surgeon after all. He gently removed her hands and peered at the deep gash in her knee. He knew it would require at least six stitches to patch it all up. Luckily, he had the equipment in his car and they would not require a trip to the emergency room. _

_She shed several tears as he cleaned and sutured her wound. He felt for the little girl. "These are dissolvable stitches. They last about two or so weeks. By then this will have healed quite a bit. It will leave a scar, but it won't be anything too noticeable. I'm good at stitches, and you're still young." He patted her other knee._

"_Thank you. My dads…" she cut herself off and averted her eyes. "Just thanks. It doesn't hurt as much."_

"_Take it easy for a few days, and then you should be up and running again in no time." He watched as familiar smile crossed her face. He wasn't sure why he thought he had seen it before, but as usual when visiting, there was something about Rachel that never sat right with him. She seemed lonely and rarely ever discussed anything about herself. _

_He wasn't sure what to make of her behavior. Yes, there were some warning signs she presented that indicated there might be something wrong; however, he didn't know her well enough to make an official complaint. She could be extremely reserved and shy for all he knew. _

"_Quinn is lucky to have you as a grandparent. I don't have any." She informed him with a sad smile. "Sometimes I pretend I do when I dream." _

_His heart broke for her. "I can be your honorary grandfather if you'd like."_

"_Really?" She perked up immediately. "Wow thank you. I better go." He watched her scamper off and listened as she hummed the familiar tune of Memory from Cats. How many times had he heard Shelby sing that song? _

"Thanks again for stitching up my knee. I don't even have a scar." He glanced down at her knee, and sure enough it was as if it never happened. "Also now you don't need to be my honorary grandpa since you're my actual one. I never thought this would be the end result of being taken from them." None of them needed to ask who she was referring to.

It still pissed off Evan and John to think of what that monster had done to their precious granddaughter. She was such a resilient child despite their attempts to break her, and he couldn't be prouder to call her his grandchild. "I remember when you started humming Memory, it reminded me of all the times your mother would sing that song." Shelby flushed in embarrassment at the reminder.

"How about some lunch?" Elizabeth suggested. They all moved their conversation into the dining room where Rachel regaled them with the happier stories of her youth. She was a lively being, and possessed the same dramatic flair as her mother.

"My dance teacher assigned me this new solo, which Amanda Braden wanted. Amanda and I argued because she deemed herself to be superior to me in dance, which is simply untrue. We then had a dance off to determine who was the better dance, and I came out on top. All of our peers voted. Suffice to say she was quite unhappy with the end result." She shrugged unbothered by the other girl's reaction. "Mommy says I should be nicer about my success and not rub it in other people's faces. But I can't help it if I'm simply better." Shelby smacked her head and groaned miserably.

The rest of the adults laughed at the confirmation that Rachel truly was her mother's child. "Oh Shelby, she's your daughter all right." The number of times they heard a similar sentiment from Shelby was well over a hundred. "Your mother used to come home from her own dance class expressing the same thing about the girls in her class. She felt that they were holding her back." Elizabeth shook her head.

"Your mom also hated to lose. I heard that is something you share in common." Lucas added in. From the dark hue of her cheeks, there was certainly a story behind his words.

"Daddy if Aunt Judy told you something, she was lying." Rachel was determined to hide some of her unsavory moments. She expressed a lot of un-sportsmanship like behavior in younger years.

Lucas pressed his lips together to prevent himself from smiling. He knew that his daughter was likely embarrassed by her behavior, but what kind of father would he be if he did not take the opportunity to completely mortify his child. "From what Judy told me, they attended all of her old dance competitions. They usually drove her there themselves, and Judy would help her get ready backstage. Rachel is highly competitive, and if there is anything in this world she absolutely hates, it is losing. At one competition, she threw a fit when she won second place." Rachel slinked down in her seat. "When they exited the building, she threw the trophy in a rage. She ranted about the injustice of it all and exclaimed rather loudly that the whole thing was fixed."

"It was." She muttered.

Shelby shook her head. "I hope you don't act like that anymore." The silent reprimand was there.

Rachel sat up quickly. "Of course not, I'm not seven. Besides I can't compete in dance competitions anymore as I have professional status after my stint on Broadway. Losing was never my thing, but after the second time I did it Aunt Judy pulled my aside and lectured me forever. She told me I should look at it as an opportunity for improvement. If I always won was I actually improving? I didn't want to be stagnant. I learned how to be gracious instead."

All of her grandparents felt pride. The little girl in front of them could teach all of them a few lessons about humility, forgiveness, and most importantly letting go of your pride. She experienced things that no person should ever have to, and yet here she was on the other side. She was strong, for the most part unbroken, and had a heart full of love.

John expressed his feelings for her. "Rachel, you truly are a gift to all of us. I think I can speak for all of us when I saw that you are so loved. We would do anything for you. All you have to do is pick up a phone and call."

Rachel's insides warmed at the lovely sentiment. If this was what it felt like to have grandparents, she would never take it for granted.

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**AN- Any thoughts?**


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